Hoff/Drunk Scotsman

Hoff: You guys like your drink down there in Scotland?

Fletch: Well I'm drunk now. So statistically yes.

Hoff: [laughs for a long time] Well I'm hoping the audience will have the right balance of water and alcohol in their blood to enjoy my show. So what Scottish songs should I sing, [laughs] in your expert opinion?

Fletch: I'm sorry to say that you're probably talking to the one Scottish man who doesn't actually have any knowledge of Scottish music. In fact you're talking to a man whose musical taste starts and ends with Milli Vanilli.

Hoff: [off phone to someone] I'm asking this Scottish man Fred who doesn't know anything about Scottish music to choose Scottish songs for my show. This is gonna be great.

Fletch: You seriously don't have to worry about that. Do you actually know how well loved you are? In terms of universal lovability, there's Barry Manilow's Copacabana and then there is you.

Hoff: Ooooh. Now you're talking. That's the nicest and stangest thing that's ever been said to me. You know, I met Barry Manilow. He was the following act at the Paris Las Vegas. I was doing The Producers show and he came on and sang; the audience were entranced with the power of that man. We got to talking and he's a great guy. Loved his style. Wanted to emulate that. Do you think I should do Copacabana on my show when I come to Edinburgh?

Fletch: Fuck yes.

Hoff: [laughing] OK. OK I'm doing it. Write that down. I'm doing the Barry Manilow classic Copacabana live on stage in my Edinburgh show because some guy on the phone who doesn't know any Scottish songs told me to do it.

Fred Fletch: Man. Do it because it's YOU and it's COPACABANA. Knight Rider sings Copacabana and I guarantee every woman in the audience will be so aroused you'll need water skis to get to their vaginas.

Hoff: [laughing hard] WHAT? [calling to someone off phone] Come here. Listen to this. Apparently, according to Fred, if I sing Copacabana on stage in Edinburgh "I'll need water skiis to get to the women's vaginas" [laughing] Oh man. Listen [coughs and puts on serious voice] I want you to know. I'm taking that line. I'm NOT paying you for it, but I'm putting it in my show... while I sing Copacabana. You come and see the show, I'm gonna sing that. What do you think?

cpkz said:
...WHY WAS THAT SO GOOD?