The Challenge

If someone were to challenge you to do six impossible things before breakfast.. what six things would you do to consider yourself to have adequately met the requirement?

People do things before breakfast?

OK, impossible thing #1. Do something before breakfast besides pee.

Build a TARDIS, start a crime syndicate, start a super hero team to fight said syndicate, move to the moon, move to Pluto when "undesirables" move to the moon and fix my life...

Okay... I know one of those is actually possible... I'm just lazy with my temporal mechanics...

I'm glad we're already hitting both ends of the ambition spectrum on this one.

Well, which standard of "impossible" are we using- yours, or mine? I don't doubt that there's probably a bit of overlap between the two, but what's possible for you may prove nigh on impossible for me (like say, taking advantage of a national health care system).

Eating three servings of poutine would probably be first.

Challenge accepted!

Jerk off 17 times before breakfast.

So, how are we defining breakfast here?

Also, Christina Hendricks is nearly impossible.

Yeah, we're really gonna have to define "serving" on this one.

You might want to do it last, so that you'd be able to move for the other five.

I am confused as to the meaning of the word "impossible" here.

Eight strait hours of sleep. That is impossible!

Which strait? Bering? Of Gibraltar?

As am I.

Be realistic - demand the impossible.

Yet worth doing more than once.

1) Issue a command to a cat and have it obey
2) Wake up on a workday and not feel wistful regret that I have to arise rather than fart, roll over and go back to sleep like a favourite old sheepdog lying on the hearth
3) Take a shower with the temperature and pressure at the desired level simultaneously
4) Admit that I am wrong about something
5) Say something at work and not immediately have it contradicted or gainsaid
6) come up with a good answer to this

If you do Christina Hendricks before breakfast that definitely counts.

This works.

If impossible is too difficult for people to wrap their heads around - think improbable & wondrous & strange.

Using the Hobbit meal schedule:

Breakfast would therefore at latest be 7:00am. So, figure giving yourself a 15 minute window at least to get in a bowl of cereal and toast, and you'd have to self-induce orgasm 17 times before 6:45 am.

1. Catch a running ostrich
2. Battle a giant squid with nothing but a paperclip and a marshmallow
3. Convince a fundamentalist christian that evolution is real
4. Turn lead into gold
5. Convince Hollywood to stop remaking movies
6. Find Atlantis (I hear they have good breakfast)

YES YES YES.

Do I have to win or is a draw an acceptable result?

Of these three, my money is on mastering alchemy.

1. Disco nap
2. Interstellar space flight
3. Cribbage
4. Laundry
5. Argentinian Tango
6. Dinner

You have to at least wound it; I think that would be acceptable.

That's why It's in the middle...I don't want to do the two most frustrating things back-to-back