NEWS: Life Beyond the Bar Scene: How to Lose a Girl in Ten Minutes

lol
and now get away from the computer and make me a sandwich.

Laurelin, I appreciate the advice. May I give you some in return?

Stop trying to pick up dickheads in bars. Seriously.

So when I piss over a girl's furniture, one fist pumping the air, while saying "Daddy knows you likey <insert racial slur>" it's a bad thing? I always thought they were into it. And now I hear it would be worse if I did it when I was drunk? Damn.

I have witnessed first had guys doing the whole zombie piss thing before. Its not pretty. Some real d-bags and others that just got too drunk and still friends with them. As far as that all goes i think its all about holding your alcohol and not getting that drunk!!!

hilarious! first all out laugh of the day.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

many thanks to those who saw the humor in this article! ha and for those who didn't, sorry!

Good lord. I was going to post about how I don't need this advice because I can lose a girl in ten minutes just fine all by myself. Turns out I don't need this advice because I am not a stingy racist with parental and bladder control issues. Dodged a bullet, I guess.