Living with Parents, Embarrassing or Understandable?

So... I have an interesting question. Before the economy went bad, before unemployment and hard times; in society if you lived with your parents still at the age of 21, it was considered embarrassing, or even worst "your not doing anything for yourself" according to some people. Now with the current situation happening, in your open opinion (kids gloves off), what age is too old to be living with your folks? 22? 25?... 28? Do you live with your parents? If you really want to be open you can even say why?

Secondly, the new trend is the fact that adults are moving BACK in with their parents after a certain period of time. What are your thoughts on that?

The point to these two questions. Is it "wrong" to be living with your parents after a certain age? Or is it okay considering the situation (if you're in one).

When I was 23 I lived with my dad and my youner brother. Honestly it was one of the best times of my life, though a lot of that was due to my dad being pretty atypical. He was a hilarious and laid back guy who could cook his ass off and would often disappear for days at a time to go gay clubbing in boston or new york with friends. I didn't live with him because I had to, but because it was fun and a good time for all of us. So I guess what I'm saying is that the situation is different for everyone depending on their relationship with their parents. If my dad were still alive I would ask him to move in with me in a heartbeat and I am 34 now.

I would say if your not in school than over 25 is embarrassing. I am 30 don't live with my parents and moved out when I was 17, graduated and then finished my Grade 13 of highschool (Ontario) with the support of government funds. Then straight afterwards moved across the country to a different province got a job and been supporting myself ever since.

I would though however say there may be "some circumstantial" situations where it's okay, like being a single mom or other really bad hardships.

I try not to judge. Who cares? Shit happens and life can change drastically from one day to the next. So you're living with your parents at who cares what age. It doesn't necessarily make you lazy which a lot of people seem to think.

I would say "yes". Current unemployment rate is 9.2%, and on top of that the average wage index has dropped almost 2%. That means there are a lot of people who are making less than they used to, and a lot of people making nothing at all. Keep in mind that top-end salaries have remained basically the same, so that 2% figure is very misleading--average wage for people who normally earn under, say, $200k/yr has probably dropped 10% or more, and for those who normally earn $50k a year or less the drop is probably even larger.

So there's perfectly legitimate reasons why a person might have to move back in with their parents. Hey, things are tough all over--no, seriously, things really are tough all over. But don't settle for that. Be embarrassed about it. Use that embarrassment to goad you back to financial independence.

I'm 32, and I wish my parents would let me move back in with them. My rent takes up nearly 2/3 of my monthly income. After my utilities, groceries, gas to get to work and car insurance, I'm lucky if I have $20 left over at the end of the month. I can't afford TV service, or internet (I 'borrow' my neighbor's wireless signal).

If you don't have them already, have you considered roommates?

On the moving-in-with-parents thing: When I met my wife, she had moved back in with her mom because she couldn't afford to live on her own (she dropped out of college when she realized a teaching degree wasn't going to pay off with the amount of loans she was having to take out).

My best friend (who's 34) just moved to Seattle last month to live with his parents. He wanted to leave the shithole we live in and go back to school (he's an airplane mechanic who can't find work in his field anymore). If anyone thought less of him for that then really they need to reassess who the hell they are.

That's not even an option for me. Neither is unemployment. It took me two weeks to find a "real" job in Portland, OR just after my military discharge. Portland has one of the higher/est unemployment and homeless rates in the nation. I am not above slinging burgers and fries at McDonald's so long as I get my paycheck every two weeks.

To be honest, I do judge someone when they're my age (almost 25) and still live with their parents. That's not to say I don't come around to understand their situation. That's not to say we can't be friends. But I do initially think lesser of them, mostly because I place such a high premium on independence. I understand that bad things happen to good people, and I don't disrespect those individuals. But the majority of people I know who still live with their parents are just fucking lazy and spoiled.

I also think lesser of people my age whose parents pay their rent/cell phone/insurance, especially when I know they are capable of doing it themselves. I respect hard working adults, not privileged children with a sense of entitlement.

Understandable:

1.) because of the economy you are essentially out on your ass and you need a temporary place to stay to get back on your feet.

2.) A family member is sick and you feel that you'd rather take care of them than have to hire a home health aid


Embarrassing (or at least SHOULD be):

1.) You never left in the first place
2.) You're cheap
3.) you blew your money on a get rich quick scheme
4.) you have no ambition, no job...and more money in video games than your checking account.

After my divorce, I really had no choice but to move home - I have two children to provide for, and living as a single parent is not easy. Our situation works pretty well though, I have my own suite and the rent I pay goes towards my mother's mortgage (she would normally have to have strangers living with her to afford her house).

I am embarrassed about living with my mom. I had left home at 18 and lived on my own for 11 years, even owned a house with my ex husband. Coming home was a HUGE step back. Embarrassed, yes. Thankful? Ohmygoodness YES. I'm everso grateful I had somewhere to go, and that my kids have a nice, warm place to live.

As Skoosh said, shit happens. You can't control everything that happens in life. If you've got a family willing to take you in (or vice versa - maybe you're willing to take a family member in), then I think you've got it pretty good

Everything is circumstancial. I would never personally move back in with my parents. My parents aren't very financially stable themselves, and I can't really be in that close proximity to them for an extended time. But if I could stand it and they were able to help me out, lord knows I could use the help.

There's also a difference between living with your parents and being a "mama's boy" or "daddy's girl" or whatever. If you still pay rent and all your own bills, and have a sense of independence, that's fine. But if they buy everything for you and you aren't making any effort to change that, well, you should be embarassed.

Depends on the situation. I moved back in with my Mom when I was 24 or 25, with my 2 kids (hubby and I had split), because she and my dad had seperated, and she wanted to keep the house but needed help with the bills. I was renting at the time, and we figured better me renting from her than some random person.

I have a similar situation. my ex and i broke up and i was living with her in Buffalo, NY at the time. well i hated it there and made it clear that i was leaving. i returned home with virtually zero money so obviously i moved back in with my parents. Some people do live with their parents because they are lazy, or they just can't walk away (like my ex's new BF). i'll feel better as soon as i get my own place cause supporting myself is a source of personal pride for me.

The only reason living with your parents would be bad is if you're not trying to better your situation. I'm 21 living with my parents but i don't sit around and do nothing. I simply can't afford to move out yet. If you were 40 living with your parents though you might want to take a step back and evaluate your life.

Being that I am at the point when she will soon determine which she will do:
a) you will only live in my house if you have a job and college entry
b) i hope you are accepted on scholarship in some other state
c) as much as we love you we are ready for you to leave
Grow up.
It is what life calls upon you.
The End.

I've lived on my own for almost 5 years. Now, after being discharged from the military, I live with my family. I moved in to help my father recover from surgery, and I'm sticking around until I've wrapped up my degree. My disability payments hardly cover my car insurance and groceries, so getting an apartment is out of the question until I can find work, and even then it's very expensive to live in the area. The situation here isn't so different from living on my own: I do my own laundry, buy my own groceries, cook my own meals, and clean up after myself. I'm looking for work right now, and during the week I study and exercise daily. I don't spend my time playing video games or loafing on the couch with snacks (that's my father's job).

I think it would be embarrassing if my parents cooked, shopped, or cleaned for me. It'd be even worse if I spent my time lounging and not actively pursuing employment or an education. Financially, it's a smart move. I save money I would otherwise spend on renting an expensive apartment and because going back to school remains my main focus, I won't have to work multiple jobs (which would have a deleterious effect on my ability to focus primarily on my education).

It's not inherently wrong to live with your family. It's all depends on why you're doing it. If it's because you're a mooch with no motivation who has never lived independently, it's pretty fucking embarrassing. But if you're trying to get a good life without digging yourself into a hole or burying yourself in debt first, it's not embarrassing at all.

That is, it's not embarrassing until you try to bring a girl or boy home.

See??? This is why I'm surprised more people don't consider sheep.

Totally non-judgmental, super absorbent for the aftermath, and most petting zoos offer discounts on season passes this time of year. Bonus.

I live with my parents part time and part of the time I live with other relatives. I have problems with mental illness which make it hard to get or hold down a job. Tried to get supported employment, but that never materialized. I just finished a round of online courses, and I'm going to try to find a job again. I do feel embarrassed by my living situation, but I don't know if its going to change anytime soon.

I moved back in for college. I would have never been able to afford it otherwise. My only embarrassment is from my own perception of others' perception of me. The main downside is it's awkward when dating.

I don't think anyone HAS been judgemental... quite the contrary, most people seem to think it's understandable, especially in this economy. I seriously doubt anyone in here would fault anyone who has gone through any type of personal trauma for staying with their folks for a bit. Mellow out.