being the other sucks. it doesn't feel bad while you're doing it, but once you realize that you were sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong...and that can take a while. i'm not one to judge anyone, because i have been in this position too many times. my personal belief, though? no matter what kind of problems a couple is having, be it lack of sex, lack of communication, abuse, whatever, it is not good for you to be involved with someone who is not mature and together enough to officially get out of a bad relationship before going elsewhere. if they don't have respect for someone they married, how are they going to have respect for you?
27
a548456
United Kingdom
OLD SKOOL
FEB 04, 2004 09:24 AM
Ish.
Rember that little situation I had about a year ago that cost me my soul? That was a case of me being the other guy. It was very messy at the time, but everything that's happened since, has been completely worth it. My friend was in a pointless relationship with a pathetic little Rich Boy who thought he could buy her affections with gifts. We'd lost touch for a while, and she'd been with him 6 months by the time we got back in contact. In that time, they'd never fucked, and she didn't even know if she loved him, and I told her what a pointless relationship it was. She never did get together with me, and that was what destroyed my soul. Painfull at the time, and the closest I've ever come to wanting to kill myself. However, things have worked out for the best all round, as she met a new guy, fucked him pretty much straight away, and they're now engaged, so she's realized just what a useless relationship she was in before. As for me, I've now got an amazing fiancee who I wouldnt've met before, and not having a soul has just made my life so much easier and less painful, so although it was a bit messy at the time, it's all worked out for the best now.
Spike
i have been the other woman, only it was a really wierd situation. i met this guy and we got along really well. i was at the end of a year and a half long relationship that was going down the tubes quickly. my boyfriend and i broke up, and then this guy and i got together. i was super infatuated with him (as comes with a rebound) and he didn't like to talk about his girlfriend (since i knew they were in the process of breaking up, eg, taking their stuff back from eachother's houses, etc, but this was before we ever hooked up). i kind of just assumed that he had broken up with her since i didnt want to bring up the uncomfortable topic. we saw eachother every weekend, i hung out with his brother, sometimes we were together for the whole weekend, etc. after about a month of this, he tells me the situation with his ex isn't resolved. i ask what that means, and he tells me it means they never broke up in the first place. i felt like a heinous bitch, since i hadn't known they were still dating (though if i wanted to get into it i could have probed i suppose). our "relationship" ended a few weeks later when he ditched me, and we didn't talk for 4 days (wouldn't answer his cell, etc) and this was odd because we usually talked every day being that it was a long distance relationship. i was pretty pissed off so i wrote him a heated email. so, 4 days after we had stopped talking and he'd broken plans, we finally talk and he freaks out on me. he had gone to kelowna with his ex/current for the weekend, because it was her grandparent's anniversary. how dare i not trust him! he can't continue in anything where i don't trust him....
yeah. silly cause why should i trust a guy who cheats on his girlfriend with me? but i guess i did. and i mean it was a complete rebound, he was the polar opposite of my ex. i never want to be in that position again. i felt like shit when i found out that he was still dating her, but i just believed he would end it with her and we would date for real.....i would call myself young and nieve but it was only last summer. so i will remove young and keep the nieve part. and trusting. ohhh boy.
I have been the other woman with someone who was married for 3 years... they were having problems, she never initiated anything with him, he said their relationship was based on money, they worked opposite hours and we worked together. We were instantly attracted to each other, became really good friend and I honestly didn't know he was married when I met him since he doesn't wear a ring. I knew when we started becoming better friends of course. We talked on the phone for hours everyday, went out many times, he and his wife even came to my house for a holiday party with a bunch of people from work.
I didn't think he would cross that line, but he eventually did.
Its funny to hear people judge others about it being wrong - you can't because you can say you would never do it but you really don't know what you would do unless you are faced with that situation.
christ that first post in this thread nearly gave me a heartattack, i need to turn in all my schoolwork on february the fourth.
thank god it was a year old.
zerogirl
I'm lost
December 2003
FEB 04, 2004 06:52 AM