Should a guy have a say in a abortion?

My ex had a abortion a few months ago,and I ask this question because I wanted to keep the kid, but it seems I had no say in the matter. We broke up over it. I have always been pro-choice and feels a women should have the rite to choose,but what about the father?If your pretty sure that your the father 99.9% why can't you as a male have a say in it?

you do have a say. i assume you told her how you felt about it? well, until you can figure out a way for you personally to carry the baby to term, that is the extent of your "say".

Bingo. Also, wear a condom.

And the lovely pygmy has brought you the answer you sought. Nuff said.

Agreed.

If two people are in a very serious relationship they should, of course, discuss the matter but ultimately it is the woman's choice.
Should a woman in a serious relationship have an abortion without discussing the situation with the father? I don't think so, as it has something to do with him as well. But if the woman does not want the baby, it is probably best for her to abort it in my personal opinion.

yeah, the guy does get a say--he just doesn't get the final say. it can suck, but ultimately the "choice" in "pro-choice" is the woman's.

A say? Definitely

The final word or decision? Nope.

I'm kind of thinking people ought to have discussed this BEFORE they have sex together, but I'm an idealist huh? Just, you know, if you both know and agree before the situation comes up...

If I couldn't discuss that with someone I wouldn't be sleeping with them.

the "i don't want to wear a condom, but i'm not okay with you having an abortion" thing has ended relationships for me. Honestly, i prefer it that way. better to have your cards on the table than end up in a have it/don't have it argument.

^^^ this. You may be providing 50% of the starting material (and it definitely takes two to tango ifyouknowwhatImean), but as a guy you don't have to experience pregnancy and all that entails, both during and after.

Ergo, you don't get the final say, and that's the way it should be. Anyone who finds that not to their liking should put some serious thought into doing what they can to avoid impregnating someone.

I have to ask. When you say you wanted to keep the kid, do you mean that you wanted to do the whole "single father" thing from the start, with your ex possibly taking no part at all in the kids life? Or, do you mean that you wanted her to keep the kid, with you in the supporting, but maybe not present 24/7, role?

The man should have absolute and complete control over the situation. By situation, I mean where he parks when he drives her to the clinic.

Exactly. While you contributed ONE cell to the party, how many cells is a baby comprised of?
The few times I've heard it suggested that if a man chooses to keep the child, the woman should have to carry it I've laughed at the ridiculousness of that statement. Pregnancy and childbirth are not trivial things at all. Women are changed forever going through that, and I'm talking purely on a physical level.

That said, I've tried to have "the talk" about where I stand on the issue of "if I get pregnant" fairly early in any relationships I've had. That way everyone is on the same page.

Stupid people shouldn't hump.

That would certainly cut down on the population of the earth.

A woman gets the final say because she takes on the physical risks of childbirth, and there are serious risks. Ever heard of eclampsia? It's not pretty.

And that's just the tip of the ice berg of things that pregnancy can do to a woman's body and emotions. Hell, I had a pretty easy pregnancy/birth with no complications and I still think it sucked. So until you can make that baby yourself, the choice should be her's.

Agreed or the pattern on the check he uses for child support.

If you don't want to pay child support, be a father, or "let her get" an abortion use birth control or keep it in your pants.

I think it boils down to this:

A dame and a fella find out there is a baby on the way. Is it wrong for the dame to just get an abortion without any discussion? I dunno. For all intents and purposes, let's say it is.

Is it wrong for the dame to get an abortion after a discussion with the fella? I think that route is more acceptable, though I'm neither condoning nor praising it.

Morals are a sticky business, and I'm not even sure they apply to the situation. Childbirth as a result of sex is akin to death as a result of life. It's the natural order of things. And while there's no solution to death as a result of life, there are many roads that can be taken to avoid having a child as a result of having sex. If it's a concern for you, take the steps required to avoid that possibility.

I know my preference, but in the end it is a moot point as I am not the one who will be carrying the child for nine months, give or take a few days. The unfortunate reality is that there is no correct answer to this question. "Yes" or "No" will get unfavorable responses from the other side. There are two camps, and if you're going to find yourself in such a situation, best to look for a member of the same camp.

At least then you can hope to travel the road with some sort of compass, not just blindly walking down whatever avenue you stumble across in the dark.

Yes i think a guy should have a say. It takes 2 to tango.

She's right, as usual.

Yes, but it only takes one to brew the brood, so if you want a say, make it in the choice of who you have sex with... don't have sex with people for whom abortion is an option if you want your sea monkeys to propagate.

If you have a cock, your vote is duly noted but largely irrelevant.