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It_Thing_Hard_On

It_Thing_Hard_On

Humptulips, WA
November 2003

JAN 20, 2004 01:43 PM

There seems to be a lot of negativity towards "the grudge". I was admonished recently for the re-emergence of a long held grudge of mine. "It's not good to hold onto all that anger" I was informed "You have to move on. Don't let it consume you".

Okay, allow me to dispell the biggest myth surrounding the grudge. People whose philosphy is to forgive and forget maybe can't understand, or at least cannot fully appreciate the art of the grudge. The grudge doesn't consume the one carrying it. It sits in the subconscious. I don't think about my grudges until it's time to take 'em out and dust 'em off again. It's like having a multiple personality complex...that you can control.

I hope that that's cleared a few things up regarding the grudge and how it is exercised. I understand that some people improperly exercise the grudge, but for the most part I think that if you follow the principles that I've outlined above, you can't go wrong.

So now, do you hold a grudge and if so does this about capture your sentiment on it? Or am I just a mean-spirited jerk who's talking out his ass again?

cornelius

cornelius

Tempe, AZ
OLD SKOOL

JAN 20, 2004 01:51 PM

so... how does this pertain to grudge fucking?

-bobby

Scopitone

Scopitone

Irvine, CA
OLD SKOOL

JAN 20, 2004 01:52 PM

I have a massive grudge for profiles devoid of pics.

Anonymity is for Batman.

Scuderiaferrari

Scuderiaferrari

Saint Petersburg, FL
January 2004

JAN 20, 2004 01:56 PM

not to throw this thread into a tangent unrelated to its topic, but i think anonymity can be important. we can join hands and smile and praise the sanctity of the internet community, but suicidegirls.com is still essentially a porn site, and i for one would prefer to keep my participation in it from, say, people i work with

Guildenstern

Guildenstern

Corolla, NC
January 2004

JAN 20, 2004 01:57 PM

Anger is a good motivator, channeled into non-distructive avenues.

a548456

a548456

United Kingdom
OLD SKOOL

JAN 20, 2004 03:59 PM

Yeah, I'll hold a grudge, but I don't really think about it. Prime example. A friend asks me to design her a tattoo, then meet one lunchtime for a drink to discuss it. A few days previously, her house had been burgled, and I sat up on the phone for hours to keep her company?(my phone bill, not hers), not that I minded, because that's what being a friend's all about. The night before we were supposed to meet, she said she wasn't feeling too good, but should be okay for meeting, so next day, I get myself up early (it's a sunday and I'd normally be in bed till 1. I got up at 11 to meet her) I text her to see if she's feeling any better and still wants to meet. No reply. I shrug and walk myself down to the bar and wait. And wait. And wait. I texted her 3 times and tried calling twice to see if she was turning up, all with no responce. I wound up using the time to draw more butterflies for my girlfriend's tattoo, then had some lunch and went home once I was done. About a week later she emails to say she couldn't make it as she had flu. That kinda shit just pissed me off, and I haven't even bothered to tell her to go fuck herself, as it's too much hassle, but this is the 21st Century for fucks sake! People have cell phones! It is not difficult to tell someone you can't keep an appointment. This wasn't a date, so that's not what got me pissed, it was just the lack of courtesy to say she couldn't make it for a week after the event. A well deserving grudge, I think.
Spike

matt_organic

matt_organic

United Kingdom
September 2003

JAN 20, 2004 04:27 PM

Spike said:
Yeah, I'll hold a grudge, but I don't really think about it. Prime example. A friend asks me to design her a tattoo, then meet one lunchtime for a drink to discuss it. A few days previously, her house had been burgled, and I sat up on the phone for hours to keep her company?(my phone bill, not hers), not that I minded, because that's what being a friend's all about. The night before we were supposed to meet, she said she wasn't feeling too good, but should be okay for meeting, so next day, I get myself up early (it's a sunday and I'd normally be in bed till 1. I got up at 11 to meet her) I text her to see if she's feeling any better and still wants to meet. No reply. I shrug and walk myself down to the bar and wait. And wait. And wait. I texted her 3 times and tried calling twice to see if she was turning up, all with no responce. I wound up using the time to draw more butterflies for my girlfriend's tattoo, then had some lunch and went home once I was done. About a week later she emails to say she couldn't make it as she had flu. That kinda shit just pissed me off, and I haven't even bothered to tell her to go fuck herself, as it's too much hassle, but this is the 21st Century for fucks sake! People have cell phones! It is not difficult to tell someone you can't keep an appointment. This wasn't a date, so that's not what got me pissed, it was just the lack of courtesy to say she couldn't make it for a week after the event. A well deserving grudge, I think.
Spike



This kind of shit really pisses me off. It's like someone not texting you back when you've politely enquired how they are for about a month. "I was busy." Too busy to send a 30 second text? Wow, I envy your social life. And these are people I KNOW for sure aren't just ignoring me out of pure horror at my existence. Having said that, I find it extremely difficult to bear grudges. I am, in fact, famed for my ability to forgive even when I really shouldn't do. It's not that I'm some kind of uber-generous messiah (although, now I mention it...), I just don't have the resentment within myself to not let people off the hook.

And for those of you who do bear grudges, listen to 'The Grudge' by Tool. It expresses stuff pretty well.

Synnove

Synnove

SUICIDEGIRL

New Brunswick, Canada

JAN 20, 2004 04:34 PM

i hold a mean grudge and they don't consume me in the least. i worry about other people a lot so i actually feel better holding grudges because it's just one less person that i have to worry about.

i have no problem with sweeping people away, no guilt, no regrets.

a548456

a548456

United Kingdom
OLD SKOOL

JAN 20, 2004 04:52 PM

matt_organic said:
This kind of shit really pisses me off. It's like someone not texting you back when you've politely enquired how they are for about a month. "I was busy." Too busy to send a 30 second text? Wow, I envy your social life. And these are people I KNOW for sure aren't just ignoring me out of pure horror at my existence. Having said that, I find it extremely difficult to bear grudges. I am, in fact, famed for my ability to forgive even when I really shouldn't do. It's not that I'm some kind of uber-generous messiah (although, now I mention it...), I just don't have the resentment within myself to not let people off the hook.

And for those of you who do bear grudges, listen to 'The Grudge' by Tool. It expresses stuff pretty well.


Exactly my point. It's not hard to send a text, and shouldn't take a week to get round to it.
Spike

Skryche

skryche

New York, NY
January 2003

JAN 20, 2004 05:00 PM

I think grudges are bad bad bad.

But, then, I can't hold them.

minimalism

minimalism

Argentina
OLD SKOOL

JAN 20, 2004 05:03 PM

I just don't care enough about most things to hold a grudge. Even when hurt by someone, I turn the other cheek. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time.

It_Thing_Hard_On

It_Thing_Hard_On

Humptulips, WA
November 2003

JAN 20, 2004 05:18 PM

The only time I ever turn the other cheek is when I'm grabbing another can of whoop-ass off the shelf. I can't take credit for this kickass quote, though. It was Maria Bamford's.

I don't hold grudges for minor things, like the guy who cuts me off in traffic or the woman who doesn't thank me when I hold the door for her. It's a special occasion when I hold a grudge. You can almost think of it as holding a place of honor if you're someone that is that deserving of my hatred. Almost

Oh, and by the way. I think I'm developing a grudge against every person who bitches at me about my picture. I haven't got one up. I don't have one to put up even if I wanted to, which I don't. Deal with it.

[Edited on Jan 20, 2004 by Dr_Phibes]

Skryche

skryche

New York, NY
January 2003

JAN 20, 2004 05:49 PM

minimalism said:
I just don't care enough about most things to hold a grudge. Even when hurt by someone, I turn the other cheek. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time.


Yes!

Synnove

Synnove

SUICIDEGIRL

New Brunswick, Canada

JAN 20, 2004 05:54 PM

but i'm not pissed off when i hold a grudge. if i wouldn't have a grudge against someone and just turned the other cheek... i'd end up being pissed off forever because it would still be on my mind constantly.

so with the grudge, i'm able to erase the person FOREVER!@$

teclo

teclo

Columbus, OH
November 2003

JAN 20, 2004 05:59 PM


i have a high "piss off" threshold.
i am basically a doormat. you really have to walk over me say, forty, fifty times before i scream "Enough!!" and cut you off.

and that's being generous.
i don't like not seeing old friends ever again, but sometimes, you have to cut difficult people out of your life, in order for you to be happy.

Zarina

Zarina

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

JAN 20, 2004 06:10 PM

I only hold onto stupid grudges. Like I have one against this girl that stole my socks back in grade 10 and then the next year wouldn't make me potatoe wedges at the grocery store's hot food section even though there was still several hours until it closed.

It_Thing_Hard_On

It_Thing_Hard_On

Humptulips, WA
November 2003

JAN 21, 2004 12:41 PM

Zarina said:
I only hold onto stupid grudges. Like I have one against this girl that stole my socks back in grade 10 and then the next year wouldn't make me potatoe wedges at the grocery store's hot food section even though there was still several hours until it closed.



That all sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

Russula

RUSSULA

Cleveland, OH
January 2004

JAN 21, 2004 01:02 PM

If someone betrays your trust it's easy to hold a grudge against them it's probably easier just to shoot them though. wink

KMFCM

KMFCM

Peekskill, NY
September 2002

JAN 21, 2004 01:03 PM


staying mad is my superpower

desidia

desidia

Reunion
September 2002

JAN 21, 2004 01:05 PM

this ugly bitch at my work has apparently been making shit up about me.

I'm going to grind her into flecks of dried blood.

Russula

RUSSULA

Cleveland, OH
January 2004

JAN 21, 2004 01:10 PM

desidia said:
this ugly bitch at my work has apparently been making shit up about me.

I'm going to grind her into flecks of dried blood.



make sure it's warm outside so the blood dries

It_Thing_Hard_On

It_Thing_Hard_On

Humptulips, WA
November 2003

JAN 21, 2004 01:10 PM

desidia said:
this ugly bitch at my work has apparently been making shit up about me.

I'm going to grind her into flecks of dried blood.



That's the spirit. You and I must have the same boss.

desidia

desidia

Reunion
September 2002

JAN 21, 2004 02:11 PM

Dr_Phibes said:

desidia said:
this ugly bitch at my work has apparently been making shit up about me.

I'm going to grind her into flecks of dried blood.



That's the spirit. You and I must have the same boss.



actually the boss was the one that let me know she talking shit. then my boss called the bitch "...(fair pause)... uptight".

if thats not PC for bitch I don't know what is

philz

philz

Sweden
August 2003

JAN 21, 2004 02:47 PM

matt_organic said:
I am, in fact, famed for my ability to forgive even when I really shouldn't do. It's not that I'm some kind of uber-generous messiah (although, now I mention it...), I just don't have the resentment within myself to not let people off the hook.

And for those of you who do bear grudges, listen to 'The Grudge' by Tool. It expresses stuff pretty well.


i'm pretty much the same. always get walked over, because people know i'll let them off. bah.

right. where's that Lateralus cd... mad

cozybear

cozybear

Canada
November 2002

JAN 21, 2004 05:16 PM

"The grudge doesn't consume the one carrying it. It sits in the subconscious. I don't think about my grudges until it's time to take 'em out and dust 'em off again. It's like having a multiple personality complex...that you can control. "

That is exactly it!!! I'm mostly a nice sweet person, but if someone manages to piss me off I remember it. If I've been introduced to someone between 3 and 5 times and they can't remember me, I'll hold a grudge.

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