Rude Customers

Let's hear some stories. Nastier the better.

My inspiration would be the bitchy old lady I met tonight while running register at my night job. It's a pizza / gas / quickie-mart kinda place and this lady bought a large and medium pizza and presented a coupon for "buy a large get a free one-topping medium". But of course she had a two-topping medium, so I was cool and let her use it and just charged her a buck for the extra topping like always. So when she sees the total she gives me this nasty-ass look and asks why it's over 12 bucks. So I just told her it was a buck for the extra topping, to which she replys " I have never ever gotten charged for the extra topping." in a smart-ass kinda sarcastic tone. I held my ground and she coughed it up but she just kept muttering about how it was her first time EVER getting charged for a second topping and etc. etc. It was the tone that really pissed me off. Like I was personally screwing her over or something for following our rules and not cutting her a deal because she said so. The job would be ok if it wasn't for the fucking customers....

ive made a career of dealing wtih these assholes

1. guy walks up, jabs burnt out lightbulb in my face and says, "WHERES THIS?" i told him, "its in your hand, youre holding it."

2. some jackoff follows me into the bathroom and asks me to help him find something, i said, "can i finish fucking pissing first?"

3. customer walks right to the front of the line (1999 christmas eve, music store) which went all the way to the back. throws a $20 bill at me and says, "gimme change," i threw it back and said, "change comes from within."

4. as an assistant manager in said music store, i was arguing with some customer over the return policy and she was getting nasty so i got nasty back. she finally asked for a manager, i said, "okay ill get him," turned my back for 5 seconds, then turned back, smiling, and said, "hi can i help you?"

im really surprised i havent gotten fired from more places


[Edited on Jan 18, 2004 by tadzi]

Back when I worked at Barnes & Noble, this woman came in looking for a book on the history of New York City. The problem was, she didn't know the title of the book, the name of the author, the name of the publisher, when the book was published or any tangible piece of information that could aid me in locating the book.

I directed her to the New York section, since we had a section that dealt specifically with New York City. She said she'd already been to that section and didn't see the book.

Then she started giving me shit about not being able to find the book. "The sign says that you carry, or can locate any book in print" I told her that was true, but not without some vital information, like the author or title. I also explained to her that there are literally thousands of books in print dealing with the History of New York City.

"I think this is rediculous, it's a very popular book...you should have it....isn't that what your little computer is for?"

She left in a huff.....before I could tell her that if her fucking life depended on this book, the least she could have done was jot down the goddam title and author's name.

I Shoulda told that bitch "I don't care if your the Pope with an extra topping your still paying an extra buck...or whatever the fuck that is in Lira!"

Coulda shoulda woulda didn't. damn.

[Edited on Jan 18, 2004 by psychoholicagogo]

I was working in a now defunct retail clothing store around Christmastime a few years back. My manager had underestimated how many gift boxes we would need and we ran out in the first week of December. The next order couldn't be filled until after the holiday.

A woman made a large purchase and asked for gift boxes. I apologized and told her about our ordering problem and that we didn't have any boxes. She got pissed and said "I'm spending over $300 in your store and you won't give me giftboxes?"

I explained again that it wasn't a matter of giving them to her, we simply didn't have any.

Her reply was "Jesus Christ!"

My reply was "No, he doesn't have any gift boxes either, but the American Cancer Society has a kiosk downstairs and they're wrapping gifts for $1 an item"

some guy who was renting movies at the video store i worked kept blatently farting and being so obviously obnoxious about it. "What was that a spider?" Or blaming other customers, he was the worst person ever. There was other stuff too, but I seemed to have blocked it from my mind.

You guys better shut up. I'm a customer, and I'm the toughest customer around!

we hate you and all your kind.

i kid, i kid.

i'm so glad i'm out of retail. i'd be happy to relay a particularly thrilling story, but like reanimateme, it seems i've managed to surpress a large portion of that era in my life. i remember a coworker and i [mall retail clothing store, btw] pelted a customer with those little plastic security tags once. we must have thrown at least a dozen each, but for the life of me, i can't remember what the guy did. all i know is that he definitely deserved it. he came back with a rent-a-cop, and we kindly asked them both to "fuck off." they did.

the only other annoying bit i can recall is the stripper who came in occasionally to buy $300 worth of clothing with $1's. go to a fucking bank once and a while, damnit.

fun times.

Yipe! *Ducks behind counter*

"The customer is always an ASSHOLE!" quoth the Affleck

Here's a conversation I had with a customer today:

"My phone doesn't have water damage!" says a customer holding phone w/ water damage.

I point out very obvious water damage. "Any time you see this corrosion, these encrusted white and teal markings, it means moisture has gotten into the phone."

"Well it's not my fault! So replace it!"

"I would sir, but unfortunatly moisture damage voids the phone's warranty. If I send it in like this, they'll charge $150 to your account."

"What? But it wasn't my fault!"

"Do you have insurance?"

"Yes! How can you prove that's moisture damage? How do you know?"

"Ok, well the $50 deductable we can get you a brand new phone with a new warran - "

"50 dollars!" *His wife exclaims in the background*

"Yes sir, before you sign up for insurance we explain that there is a - "

"I pay you people GOOD MONEY EVERY MONTH and I have to PAY to get a replacement?!?"

I check his account - he pays very very little.

"If it has moisture damage, we can't replace it. But through insurance we can get you a brand new phone with a brand new warranty today"

I dial insurance and key ahead to a claims representative. I try to hand him the phone.

"What's that?"

"We just need you to make a claim if you're going to replace the phone through insurance - "

"I'm not making a claim, because I don't know that this is water damage!"

"Sir, I - "

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT'S MOISTURE DAMAGE?!?! How can you PROVE it?"

I point out the corrosion again and reexplain.

"Then it's FAULTY MANUFACTURING! It's NOT MY FAULT, and I shouldn't have to PAY for it."

"All I'm saying sir is that if we were to exchange it they would charge you $150 to your account - "

"JEEEsus ChrIST." *Wipes face* "I want you to GET me someone in charge to talk to, RIGHT NOW. Get me SOMEONE - "

"Our manager isn't in today, and customer service is closed on Sundays."

"I DON'T CARE! I want to talk to someone NOW"

*Pause* "I don't know what you..."

"You better get me SOMEONE right NOW, I want to talk to SOMEONE NOW."

"But sir - "

"Get me someone NOW!"

He kept on like this until I pretended to call customer care, then tried calling the warranty department of the manufacturer of his phone, then all the stores in the area to see if any of them might have a manager on duty.

Luckily another rep came in, and fought the guy off with the magic words "Corrosion like that doesn't happen by itself." I gave the guy the number of the warranty department of the manufacturer; he TOOK OUR NAMES, grumbled about how HE has to do all the work to get his phone replaced, and said something about how "heads are gonna roll" before going home to beat his children.

Apologies for not being able to make that shorter.

[Edited on Jan 18, 2004 by Jeff_Fries]

God, I could tell you story after story of rude guests.

Let me think of the best and then get back to you.

Wow which of the many asshole stories to tell?
I am a female tattoo artist with many tattoos. I once had a tattoo customer (female) say to me "I don't want to get too many tattoos, I don't want to look like a slut" The other female tattoo artist and I looked down at our very tattooed arms. I had no idea that I was a slut.

It always amazes me when a customer gets shitty with me, I'm gonna put a friggin' needle in you and make a permenant mark. You might try to be nice to me or at least try to not piss me off.

edited because I can't spell.

[Edited on Jan 19, 2004 by MissMisha]

mine is pretty lame, but i am currently working in the ass crack of so. cal, and i'm lucky if my customers can read, let alone be in possesion of all of their teeth.
about 10 times a shift i am told that a customer wants a cappucino. if i were in rancho bernardo, i would just go ahead and make it, but being that this is a lower i.q. zipcode, i always explain that we make our cappucinos hot and half foam (hey just like in italy.. go figure) and they always say yes, that's what i want. then upon recieving said drink, they look at me blankly and ask why the cup is only half full, like i'm trying to cheat them. and then they ask me why it isn't cold and blended, like the ones at 7-11. dear lord give me strenth, cus ima bout to kill this man. sheesh!

so much happened at the store I worked at...

a coworker getting a brick thrown at her head...

manager throwing a ciggarette on some guys head and me getting yelled at....

people not understanding no returns means no returns

people sneaking into the employee restroom and smelling it up

transvestites who refused to change in the dressing room and me getting sent to send them to the fitting room

so many more...luckily my boss had a policy that we weren't fired unless we were fired in private...and that he would fire us in front of customers just to make the customer happy..some people got fired multiple times a week

Hmm..

Brand new car comes in on a Flatbed one fine day. Guy is riding with the tow driver and looks about as happy as someone who just got soldering iron anal probe.

He walks into the showroom screaming about what bastards we are, etc.. So I get dragged into this.

Me: "Hello, what seems to be the problem?"

Idiot: "You ASSHOLES sold me a car that broke down THREE HUNDRED MILES after I bought it!"

Me: "Well, let's see if we can't fix it, what happened?"

Idiot: "I was driving along and the car started cutting out and just DIED!"

Me: "OK, let me get one of our techs to look at it right now."

Idiot: "You'd better asshole or I'll own this place"

Walk outside.. car is being pushed off of the tow truck, sure enough, car acts like it wants to start but won't.

Then we notice a few telltale signs.. little yellow light glowing on gas gauge.. needle pointed BELOW "E" and hitting the "RANGE" button on the car's trip computer shows a range of "---"

I walk back into the showroom where Mr Schmucko is waiting and glaring at everyone.

Me: "Sir, we found the problem already. Every few hundred miles you'll find that you will need to stop into a Gas station and refill the tank, perhaps you noticed the yellow warning light? That means your tank is empty".

Idiot: "But it's a BRAND NEW CAR"

Me: "Yes, and you drove it several hundred miles and used up all of your gas"

Idiot: "So how in the hell is that MY Fault?"

i've done the retail job, and yes, customers fucking suck, but yesterday i was all upset walking back from the store. i'm always pleasnt to clerks, big fan of a "hello", and when the transactions over a "have a nive day" or some such variations. i don't even need a "hey" when i arrive at the counter, but after i say "have a good one" i want to hear "you too". how hard is "you too". the absolute worst is "you're welcome" after my thanks. it's so pretentious, they stare at you with a shit eating grin and say you're welcome, you're welcome is only appropriate after a personal favor, "you're welcome to my things...to my help...to whatever it may be", not "you're welcome to shop in this store", i know i'm welcome, you want me to shop there, i'm welcome unless i get banned from the place. it just makes me so mad.

Exactly. At least acknowledge my presence as another huamn being. Jesus, I'm tired of mouth-breathers that grunt at me in response. Next they'll be slinging poo at me, that's how fast they're de-evolving.

At the guitar shop I work at a kid comes in with his dad to return a Fender Strat (cost about $900 for which he bought a $20 gig bag, I told him to get a hardshell case, he refused). He says to me the guitar broke. I say well lets take a look at it. He says "No, that's ok. I just want my money back". I tell him either way, I have to check out the guitar. I open the bag to his protests, and pull out a guitar that has the neck broken in two places. I look at the front of the bag and there is a huge tire track (like monster truck size) across it that matches perfectly with the two breaks.

I don't even say a word, I just look at the kid. The kids dad says "Hey, that supposed to have a life time guarantee". I say "The warranty covers manufacturer defects. I can promise you without even reading it, that it won't cover getting run over by a truck." The dad says "Are you trying to be a smartass?". I say "No, I'm being realistic. I think you're best bet is to contact your insurance company to see if it's covered". The dad "That's a $900 guitar. If it can't take a little abuse, you people shouldn't be selling it". Me "Look. Even he had bought the hard case for it, I doubt that would of protected it from being run over by your truck". The dad "This is bullshit! I want to talk to the store manager"

The GM comes out, takes one look at the bag and the guitar and starts laughing. The Ops manager comes out with a camera and takes pictures of the guitar and bag. The manager tells the dad that there's no way he's going to return it and that if plans on calling anybody else about it, he better be prepared to be denied.

About an hour later the manager of one of our other stores call saying that the kid and his dad are there trying to return the mangle guitar. Of course they told them to come back to us.

Sorry, didn't know someone started a "Stupid customer" thread.

[Edited on Jan 19, 2004 by tanar]

I worked the graveyard at a twenty-four hour greasy spoon a few yeasr ago. The late-night crowd is just generally irritating. Well, the night crew had been roughly the same for a few years, and near the end of that few years,out definition of an asshole customer got broader and broader. Got to the point where,if people sat down at a dirty table when there were plenty of clean ones,and waved someone over to clean it, the waitress would just point to the door and say "out."

On one occasion,a customer hit a waitress while the restaurant was filled with mostly the regulars coming from work at other restaurants. Bad news. A wall of customers and kitchen folk converged on the dumb bastard, and ended up breaking his knee,a couple of ribs and dislocating his jaw.

Just punch them in the throat.

Or just make no sense and they will go away, send them on the long route.

when i was working at lowes, i worked specifically in returns and i had some asshole do that with a weedeater. same thing with tire tracks on the damn thing, and then he said it came like that.

bunch of savages in this town.

not customers. people are rude.

yet ANOTHER reason to shut up and let you concentrate.

OH. MY. GOD. Please take me off this earth now... *shakes her head* I... cannot compute.