213 Things Skippy Can't Do

by "Skippy", a.k.a. SPC Schwarz

I just saw this. Apologize if it's older than dirt and everyone's seen it a million times. The original website [skippyslist.com] is apparently kaput.

My favorite:

29. The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'.


If this private were in a war movie, he'd be 'the funny guy' who gets killed somewhere about the middle. Heh.

*puts on his best David Letterman voice*

And the number one thing Skippy can't do.............

Get into Mallory's pants.

I miss that show. I always wanted Skippy to get Mallory.

i'm quite sure i know the guy that taught skippy this lesson

and my favourite is #49 - i may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.

115. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me.

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."

i couldnt get myself to read more than 4 of them

167. Not allowed to operate a business out of the barracks.

168. Especially not a pornographic movie studio.

169. Not even if they *are* 'especially patriotic films'

I feel bad for this guy's superior officers. It sounds like he was hell to command.