NEWS: The Gentlemen's Guide to Dressing

CULTURE: The Gentlemen's Guide to Dressing

Good afternoon, Gentlemen. So nice of you to join me.



I know many of you are not comfortable here, but the mall is where we must venture in these trying times if we wish to stop wearing animal skin loin cloths.

Gentlemen. We need to talk about your clothes.

Now, before anyone complains, I am not talking about your day to day clothes. It is not up to me, nor anyone else, to comment on what anyone else wears for their usual activities. If you feel the urge to wear 4 polo shirts in layers, with all the collars popped, that is up to you.

No, Gentlemen, we need to talk about dressing appropriately for special occasions.

For many of us, when it comes to a special occasion, we’re at a loss. We know we can’t get away with jeans and a t-shirt, but we’re not sure where to go or what to get. Before we know it, we wind up at a formal wedding looking like we’re about to step on the 1st tee.



Now, the man in that photo is dressed perfectly fine for most things. He’s ready to go pick up the kids, to go antiquing, or to shop for a new minivan. He is not ready to stand next to a woman who has spent hours on her hair and makeup, shopped for a new dress, shoes, and handbag to match, and who wants to be proud of who she is with.

Like I said, I am not here to criticize your day to day clothes. I’ve long given up that hope. But I can offer a few suggestions that will allow a Gentleman to dress for any occasion, without breaking his budget or turning himself into a walking mannequin.

As every woman should have her little black dress, every man should have at least one suit. I do not mean a business suit. Those are meant to convey some sense of authority, and really very dull and uncomfortable to wear.

No, I am talking about the type of suit that makes you feel good about how you look. That makes you feel like standing up a little straighter, looking the bartender in the eye and asking for the private stock.

There are several aspects of the suit that need to be considered before purchase.

1. Color

Solid color suits are for the boardroom. For this suit, you are going to want to go with some sort of subtle pattern within the weave. Nothing outlandish, and certainly nothing in plaid. The key word is subtle.

Black suits are never a good choice. They make a man look like he is here for the body, and would the widow please sign the receipt?

Navy is good, but it is almost too businesslike. Earth-tones work for some complexions, but not all. If you go for a gray, darker is better than lighter. Do not go for a light colored suit unless you live somewhere that is warm year-round.

I’m afraid that this is not a process that can be rushed, or done alone. You will need a second opinion. But, remember, this is your suit, and if you like how something looks on you, nobody else’s opinion really counts.

Cut:

I hear all sorts of things about Italian cuts, French cuts, Athletic cuts. These only fit a certain type of body, and most of us don’t have that sort. An Italian cut works best for men who are under 5’10”, slim build, and look like they should be dealing blackjack in Atlantic city. The French cut is similar, but in Vegas. The Athletic cut has more to do with arm-size than anything else.

Fit:

The truth is, finding the right cut is not as important as finding the right fit. This can be achieved in two ways:

1. You can find a store that still custom tailors suits for men. This may cost a bit more, but it will still be less than a new video game system.

2. You can buy a suit off-the-rack at a department store and have it fitted to you elsewhere.

If you go with option 2, there are several steps to be taken. First, make sure the pants fit well. That is the plus of a department store; you can mix and match. Remember that pleats are out (hopefully forever) and that the pockets should be able to stay closed when you’re standing. Don’t worry about the length. Buy them too long.

For the jacket, try on several in the color you want, until you find one that is just slightly too big on you. Jackets are sized by the chest and the height of the wearer. I wear a 52 Long. Long means I am over 6 feet tall. Regular goes between 5’7 and 5’11 or so. Short is for anyone shorter. If you are in the extremes in height, one way or the other, you will have to have custom work done.

Once you have your jacket, do some phone work. Most tuxedo rental places employ a tailor, and will be happy to fit your suit to your body for a price. This is why you should buy slightly too big and slightly too long in the pants. It gives the tailor something to work with.

Flair:

No, I don’t mean buttons. Flair means making a statement with your clothes. This is often difficult with a suit, as it is designed in a single color scheme. You will need a splash of color to set it off. A pocket square, a tie, a vest, and your socks are the regions that can be utilized. Do this with some class. Donald Duck should never be on a tie. And I really don’t want to see fishing lures around your ankles. But, don’t be scared of pink. It can be striking.

When you have your suit, take care of it. A good suit should last you several years, and the jacket several more after the pants have given up the ghost. Keep that in mind when buying. You will want a jacket that looks good when worn with other types of pants as a sport coat.

Men’s fashion changes slowly. Oh, sure, there are always new things coming out of Paris and New York, but I have noticed something. The fashion designers, the ones who make the clothes, the ones who have the world’s best tailors at their beck and call, do not wear their own designs. They wear either the classic plain t-shirt, or a simple, well-made suit. Ignore articles like this from GQ magazine. Their suggestions only work if you are exactly 5’10” and 157 lbs.

Other than the suit, there are a few basics all men should have on-hand, as the occasion warrants.

The Plain T-shirt: I know, everybody wants to wear band shirts, or something with a funny saying. But a plain, single-color t-shirt holds a classiness that cannot be touched by something with a smiling bunny on the front.
Jeans: I don’t mean the ones that hang off your ass and show everybody your business. A well-fitted, un-holed pair, matched with a sturdy leather belt will make you look less like a teenage punk and more like a man to be respected.

Shoes: Make sure you have shoes, and a belt, to match your suit. Black with most colors, brown with earth-tones. Make sure they are comfortable, they fit well, and learn how to polish them.

A Raincoat: In case you would prefer not to get your suit wet.

What not to wear:

I have been asked by some of the ladies to give a few examples of what not to wear. Here is the short version:

1. Tight pants with baggy boxers. If you insist on wearing your girlfriend’s pants, don’t wear your drawers bunched up underneath. It makes you look like you’re wearing a diaper.

2. Women’s clothes. It is all well and good for trans-gendered persons to wear clothes of the opposite sex. But, for the rest of us, please don’t. Women’s jeans are cut differently than men’s . . . particularly in one place where a seam can be pretty painful.

3. “Fashion”. Trying to keep up with all the latest styles is exhausting and a waste of time. It is also dangerous, since, if you aren’t careful, you could end up wearing pants designed with the crotch somewhere around your knees.

4. Polo Shirts. Polo shirts have a place in this world. Popped collars do not. A polo shirt is appropriate for golfing, playing polo, or a run to McDonalds with your kids. And Jersey, but Gentlemen do not speak about such things.

5. “Products”. This is not about clothes, but it is about how you look. When you are wearing more hair gel, perfume, deodorant, and makeup than your date, you need to rethink things.

6. Jewelry. Please, gentlemen, keep it simple and subtle. A wedding ring is classy. A big gold ring with a stone, a matching bracelet, and a big watch scream “used car salesman”. A simple watch, well made but not flashy, is much better. It is up to you to decide about piercing and the like.

To close, getting dressed appropriately is simple, if you pay attention. If you are going to an event with a female, match her level of dressiness. If she is wearing a gown, don’t bring out your cargo pants and old Green Day t-shirt.

Keep it classy, Gentlemen.

For more on male grooming you can always check out the SG group Razor, Brush, Lather - for all your male grooming / dressing needs.



Nice article.

I work in a Department store and I really must concur with that warning about "Fashion". I have to walk up to a manager at least twice a day to ask if an article of clothing is really meant to be in the Men's Department. So many Designer items are just poorly made regular clothes only bedazzled, ruffled, or with Flashing LED lights.

Yet People keep buying them.... for close to a grand too in some cases.

If you have an eclectic taste that's all well and good but be careful how you make your statement. It's better to just have one eye-catching item than a dozen assorted bells and whistles. Currently, my favourite is my new watch; a Brass, wood and aged leather one that looks at home in a Jules Verne novel. It doesn't detract from my usual Togs but when noticed often starts a conversation.

I just keep flashing back to one of my sister's exboyfriends. He had a oversized gold watch, a large ring on each hand, a thick gold bracelet, an oversized tie-tack, a big American Flag lapel pin . . . all in all it probably cost him $2000 and was all-around tacky.

To my mind, a Gentleman needs just a few accessories:

1) A good watch. Your's sounds ideal.
2) A quality pocketknife. Not a big honkin' weapon, but something useful.
3) A high quality pen, one that will last for decades.

Much beyond that and you run the risk of overaccessorizing.

You forgot hats.

I am of the opinion that every gentleman should have a proper hat.

This is true. But finding a quality hat anymore is rather difficult. Most of what I see is cheap crap with too small of a brim.

I frequent a lot of Thrift stores and I often find really nice ones. Only problem is apparently my head is ginormous(wow, that's actually a word) and most hats won't fit me. so when I find one that does I wear it fairly often until it gets stolen.

My congratulations to coyotemike for providing yet another concise but accurate portayal of the ways in which a gentalman carries himself. As a fellow who enjoys a T-shirt and jeans for the day to day ,outside of work, I greatly apprieciate the thoughtfully composed reminder to consider the time and venue when dressing for any outing.

Go Windsor or go home.

Very good article.

The watch is really fucking important if you need to keep track of the time, because pulling out your cell phone to check the time makes you look like a douche. And go analog or go home.

I've seen some men who have watches that are JUST a bit too big for their sleeve to allow full access with a casual slide resort to rolling up that sleeve only about an inch or so past the cuff. I've only seen them do this when they have on a jacket over the shirt, so I didn't notice it until I happened to catch one guy checking his watch.

I can understand the reasoning, as it allows function with most of fashion still intact, but part of me also thinks that it may be considered a bit tacky. Consensus?

Quite agreed. This may be the reason most dress-watches are fairly thin.

You should have ended with this, not started. I ain't going in no fucking mall for no one. Ever. No god damn way.

Can I still be considered a gentleman?

Yes, you can, but it will be more expensive. I started with the mall, because it is where you can buy an off-the-rack suit for a fairly low price. I prefer custom tailoring, but that usually adds $100-$200 to your budget.

I can't really shop at the mall, as most retail stores don't carry my sizes. They usually go up to about a 48 Long, and I'm a 52/54 Long.

Fair enough. When it comes to a suit, I believe in the quality over quantity argument. It's better to have one or two good fitting tailored suits then a bunch of ill fitting ones. Thankfully I only need to wear a suit about once every few years, so I do go tailored.

That being said, I still ain't gonna go to no fucking shit-tastic, mouth-breathing, Sbarro eatin' mall.

Another great article! I hope these keep up!

I'm gonna take this one step further: Gentlemen, unless you are a frat boy, under the age of 15, or out playing paintball or something, stop wearing cargo pants. I don't care what Old Navy told you, cargo pants are not flattering on anyone. Ever. ESPECIALLY if you put stuff in the cargo pockets.

I carried a pocket watch for years. Leather-fronted, aged silver, with an analog face. I bought the same one when the first died out. I loved it, but at the time I had long hair, wore nothing but band t-shirts and ripped jeans, so it was a nice little touch. I've been considering going back.

I bought a traditional three button English cut suit for my wedding day many years back and it has served me well on many other occasions. It also has a red lining, which allows me to pair it with interesting shirts for slightly less formal events. I'm tall and thin, but otherwise this cut is dangerous. It also makes your feet look like boats.

One thing which was not mentioned: glasses. Either of the sun or reading/prescription variety, these can be a powerful statement of gentlemanliness. From Ray Bans to Oliver Peoples to Cartier, there is a look that works for everyone.

Blue cheese all the way.

Yes, there is. Plus, sun glasses can make for a very dramatic punctuation, right before the theme music starts.

As far as watches go...and I'm certainly no style guru...but please...leave the garish, chunky watches for Russian mobsters.....and the kids buying knockoffs from a blanket in the city.

You should have two watches....your everyday workhorse...and your special occasion watch. And the latter should be in a metal casing with a metal or leather band. Your old Timex Ironman will not look nice when you're scrubbed up.

You don't have to wear a Rolex....but your good watch should be expensive enough for you to be too scared to try to work on it yourself.

I'm not a fan of watches or any accessories on the person, like jewelry. I find it bothersome; I can always feel them on me. However, I do own a nice Swiss Army pocket watch.

I'll agree with this; you look like a tool. Need extra pockets? There are many casual dress/work pants that will fit the bill. These are my everyday pants; they're super comfortable, quick dry, stain resistant, and have several concealed pockets without looking bulky.

chalk the wearing of one up to personal taste....but a watch really isn't jewelry.