dan_brodribb said:
[snip]
As a shy guy, I love when women take the initiatlve. I also like it if she leaves me a way to salvage my self-esteem, so I don't feel completely emasculated.
[/snip]
Here you are doing the same thing again, though. It's backhanded advice: "Take initiative, but be careful because you'll probably emasculate and depress your man unless you use manipulative techniques to make him think he's leading."
To me, this advice is only moot, as I'm not single and when I was I never really had that much trouble, I just find it a little socially regressive.
well... to some extent, we live in a socially regressive society. taking strong charge of a relationship can make many guys uncomfortable, because the general societal expectation is that the guy leads. there's nothing wrong with a woman taking charge, but it may not always be the best way to sustain a relationship.
motorfirebox said:
well... to some extent, we live in a socially regressive society. taking strong charge of a relationship can make many guys uncomfortable, because the general societal expectation is that the guy leads. there's nothing wrong with a woman taking charge, but it may not always be the best way to sustain a relationship.
True, and it's best if both people in a relationship share responsibility anyway to make it lasting.
motorfirebox said:
well... to some extent, we live in a socially regressive society. taking strong charge of a relationship can make many guys uncomfortable, because the general societal expectation is that the guy leads. there's nothing wrong with a woman taking charge, but it may not always be the best way to sustain a relationship.
True, and it's best if both people in a relationship share responsibility anyway to make it lasting.
That last little snippit of wisdom is probably the best place to leave this thread. That's the hardest part about relationships ... how does one keep it going and cool. ( Especially if the dating wanes to Friendship, how does the one who wanted it over make the friend move? )
dan_brodribb said:
[snip]
As a shy guy, I love when women take the initiatlve. I also like it if she leaves me a way to salvage my self-esteem, so I don't feel completely emasculated.
[/snip]
Here you are doing the same thing again, though. It's backhanded advice: "Take initiative, but be careful because you'll probably emasculate and depress your man unless you use manipulative techniques to make him think he's leading."
To me, this advice is only moot, as I'm not single and when I was I never really had that much trouble, I just find it a little socially regressive.
Agreed, except I'd delete "a little." This falls into a tired old trap of women taking so much of the responsibility of establishing and maintaining romantic relationships. These articles in general describe women as tools to overcome male insecurity and despair, as opposed to, you know, people.
Roethke
SUICIDEGIRL
California, USA
SEP 02, 2009 10:18 AM