Dead Baby Jokes For Dementia

I know it has been done before, but I dont care.

I dig Dead Baby Jokes, entirely.

I have a many, under my belt, along with others non related that are just evel.

Tell me your best Dead Baby JOKE so I can steal it and win lots of friends.

The Winner will win.......my heart. If its still in there.

*warning... some ... no ... MOST people may find these offensive*
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline.


What's worse than 1 baby in 10 garbage cans?
10 babies in 1 garbage can.
What's worse than that?
The one at the bottom is still alive
What's worse than that?
He has to eat his way out.
What's worse than that?
He goes back for more


How do you get 10 babies into a bowl?
A blender
Now, how do you get them out?
Nacho chips


What is blue and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with slashed floaties.
What is green-black and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
The same baby three weeks later.
What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool?
Floaties with a slashed baby.


Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.


What is more fun than stapling dead babies to the wall?
Pulling them off.


What is worse than running a baby over with a car?
Getting it out of the tires.


How is a baby like a grape?
They both give a little wine when you squish them.


In conclusion, I lurve dead babies.... and all of their jokes

AcidBather:

So far, with the garbage can joke, you are winning.
I may just swoon me little heart out.
*bats eyelashes*

What's red and goes round and round?
A dead baby in a blender.

What's green and goes round and round?
The same baby a week later.


How many babies does it take to paint a house red?
Depends how hard you throw them

[Edited on Dec 27, 2003 by SupremePizzaMan]

Why'd the baby drop it's rattle?
Because it got hit by a truck.

Person 1:What's better than killing babys?
Person 2:...I don't know.
Person 1: Me neither.

I lurve them too much to not post more.... that, and I want her heart (to eat, of course)


How do you spoil a perfect little baby?
Leave it out in the sun.


Whats more fun that spinning a baby on a clothesline?
Stopping it with a shovel.


What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.


What's the proper gift for a dead baby?
A dead puppy.


How do you stop a baby from looking up at you with that cute little baby face and gurgling happily with that little baby mouth and waving at you with those little baby fingers and little baby toes?
Gouge its eyes out.


What's the difference between a baby and a bagel?
You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven.


What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.


Did you know that it takes five babies to make just one bottle of baby oil?


A woman was lying in her hospital bed recuperating after an intense 12 hour delivery of a bouncing baby boy. Moments later the hospital room door opened, and in walked the delivery nurse carrying the baby boy. Suddenly, the nurse THROWS the baby on the floor, kicks it up against the wall, picks it up and twirls it around several times and then throws it against the wall again. ....
Well, just bewildered, the woman gives out a loud shriek and screams "My God, what have you done to my little baby?" ....
The Nurse chuckles a little to herself and says, "April Fools! He was already dead"

[Edited on Dec 27, 2003 by AcidBather]

Q: What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?

A: An erection

Q:What is the difference between 20 dead babies and a Mercedes Benz?

A:I don't have a Mercedes Benz in my garage.


Q:What did the blind and deaf baby get for it's 1st birthday?

A:Cancer

Since they took the only dead baby joke I can remember I'll just tell you my newest joke that I love:

A wife is looking in the mirror and says to her husband "I look fat, ugly, and pale. Give me a compliment to make me feel better." The husband thinks for a long while and finally says "At least you've got good eyesight" HAR HAR HAR

What do you get when you stab a baby in the eye?

an erection

what's the difference between a truckload of rocks and a truckload of dead babies?

you can't empty out rocks with a pitchfork

How do you m ake a dead baby float..?

Two scoops of ice cream and some rootbeer.



What's worse than 100 dead babies nailed to trees?

1 dead baby nailed to 100 trees.



What's better than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?

Realizing you made love to it the night before.

Woot! What a super thing to wake up to!! Thanks!!

One of me favs:

What is 12 inches long, purple, and makes a woman scream all night long?
~crib death.






Keep'em coming. The more the Merrier.

what do you do with a garbage bag full of dead babies

no seriously, what do you do i've got a serious problem here


whats the best way to kill a baby

spliting its pelvis


how do you make a 5 year old cry

wipe the blood on his favorite doll

not a dead baby joke but good none the less

Dead Baby Jokes For Dem...

This is what the thread list thingy listed this as and I thought it was going to be Dead Baby Jokes for Democrats and this is just another dum ol' dead baby thread. I want Dead Baby Jokes for Democrats dammit!

What's the proper gift for a dead baby?
A democrat!

See how much funnier that is!

how do you stop a dead baby from falling down a manhole?
throw a javelin through its head

what's pink and silver and can't turn around in a narrow hallway?
a dead baby with a javelin through its head

What is green and slimy and crawls up a woman's leg?

~a homesick abortion.


[enter evel laughter here]

the only one i can ever remember:

what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadillac?

i don't have a cadillac in my garage.

d20 cant win, since I know him for real.

Currently AcidBather has me wee heart.
[enter swooning dementia here]


I want to hear more damnnit!!!!
Eff all of you who cant provide. You lose.

What's green and black and sits in a corner?
Same abortion after the woman kicks it off her leg

What's black and blue and is rotting in a corner?
Same abortion, two months later

What's better than having sex with a dead baby?

Having anal sex with a dead baby.


And here's one that's sorta 'dead baby' but not quite...


What's the best part about having sex with an 8 year old?

If you pull her hair back she looks 5.

= smiling dementia

Why do the doctors boil water when they deliver a baby?

So if it's dead they can make soup.