NEWS: Geek Heresy: I Haz It

GEEK: Geek Heresy: I Haz It

One thing that makes us geeks is the hive mind that we share. Hardcore opinions run through our consciousness like the stripe on a skunk. Star Wars is awesome. Star Wars prequels sucked. The cancellation of Firefly was a travesty. Neil Gaiman is a wordsmith sent from the heavens. They Might Be Giants are the bards we all secretly wish would follow us around, chronicling and singing our lives.

But I gotta admit, there are times I split from the pack. And I find astonishment. Derision. More astonishment. And I'm here to defend myself and my opinions.

1) I do not find Hugh Jackman fuckable.

Now, this isn't specifically geeky per se, but the new Wolverine movie just came out, which has all the geeky women frothing at the mouth to go see Hugh snarl and kick some ass and say, "Bub." I'm not saying Jackman is a dog, I'm saying that the geeky women of the world seem to do a collective sigh when he's mentioned, and I just don't get it. Maybe I don't have a thing for Wolverine, so I think of him with the huge sideburns. I dunno, but when I see him I think, "Handsome guy, sure, but I don't need a sudden change of underwear."

I will bet cash money that there wasn't a dry seat in the house on opening night of Wolverine.

2) Dollhouse is an OK show, and if it gets canceled, that's OK too.

Yeah, I know, all the Whedonites are up in arms already. But I maintain my stance: Dollhouse is just OK. It started weak because it gave us no heroine to root for: Echo is rewritten with a different personality for each show. The strange and casual treatment of rape makes me uncomfortable. What's funny is when they find a rapist in-house, they're all protective, but they still rent these women and men out as whores with new personalities. I suppose you could argue the new personalities consent to the sex, but the whole thing is still shady and uncomfortable.

Many people say that the show began to "get good" when episode 6 hit. Twists! Turns! Revelations into Echo's real personality! But really, why were you watching for five unsatisfactory episodes?

Yeah. I admit, I gave it a chance for four episodes and then lost interest. Then when everyone freaked out so much about #6, I started watching again. And yeah, it got interesting, but it still feels like a show that's "just OK."

We all know every artist, even our favorites, does not shit gold every time they go to the bathroom. Dollhouse has yet to build the incredible ensemble cast that Buffy, Angel and Firefly had. And if it dies, then Joss Whedon will have the time to work on something else.

3) I don't get a lot of classic sci-fi.

This is the most shameful of all. There are several books I've never read that seem to be on the required SF reading list. So I have tried to remedy that. And I don't know if it's the fact that now that I'm an adult, the technology, political, and sexual references are so dated I can't get past them, but many books have failed to hook me. I've tried to read them several times, and each time I drop them either due to flat-out-boredom, confusion, or being utterly offended.

"Wait, the protag is a rapist, and I am supposed to keep rooting for him? Are you fucking kidding me?"

(Incidentally, the only book I can remember really liking even though the protagonists were less than heroic was the bizarre book Geek Love by Katherine Dunn about a carnival family whose parents experimented with drugs and isotopes to create a family of carnival freaks. Bizarre and fun and disturbing.)

And reading, honestly, is where the people begin to give me the looks. "You've never read Dune?" they ask, and I squirm with shame.

"I've tried! Several times! Really!" I say. I cast about for geek cred to make myself cool. "I read Neil Gaiman before Sandman! I have been a Hayao Miyazaki fan since Nausicaa was butchered in editing and retitled "Warriors of the Wind" for HBO viewers when I was a kid! My shelf is full of short story anthologies from the 40s and 50s!"

"Yeah. But you've never read Dune."

While some of my geek heresy shames me, I do realize that conforming to the geek hive mind when I don't want to is worse than standing out like a sore, poorly educated in geeky things, thumb. I refuse to be a sheep, and so you can have your Jackman, your Dollhouse, and your spice. I'm comfortable with my existing geek cred.

(Mostly.)


Mur Lafferty is an author and podcaster who recently released her first novel, Playing For Keeps. She Speaks Geek every month on SuicideGirls.com. Click HERE for more of Mur's musings.

Yes, I hear you. My cross to bear is Phillip K. Dick. Yes, he's written some interesting books, no, he's not the greatest author ever. I don't even put him in the top ten. His books are weird just to be weird and rarely have any sort of satisfactory ending. I don't mean happy ending, I just mean his books end without any sort of explanation for what happened and/or why the protagonist acted the way he/she did.

In fact, a lot of fiction from the fifties and sixties (and before) I don't care for. Yes, I enjoy some Heinlein and some Asimov and some Wyndham etc. But just because you slap one of those names on the cover doesn't mean it's an instant hit to me. A lot of time it's the language and the culture. It's like watching Star Trek: TOS and thinking "really? hundreds of years in the future and all the women barely cover their thighs and have beehives?" I'm sure future generations will laugh at fiction to come out of the ninties and the oughts, but I guess I'm just a kid showing my age (which is the unkid age of 27).

As for Dollhouse... if they had just put Alan Tudyk in every episode it would have been a hit from the start. Did you people see the last episode? That man has become my hero.

I'm a geek. No question about it. And I've never read Dune either.

Dune is OK.

But, honestly, I don't think y ou're missing alot by not reading it - or any of the 10 baillionjillion 'gotta make money on dad's name' sequels there are out there.

altho my reading tastes are suspect anyway, I got my start on EESmith, and he's still in my top 10

Spot on. The checkboxes next to names of authors or the works they've produced might *add* to Geek Cred, but should by no means be a litmus test for who has or hasn't the right to carry the Geek title. Isn't hive-mind by definition "un-Geek"?

I didn't like Firefly, not even a little. But that was a masterpiece compared to Dollhouse. 99.99% of science fiction on television is terrible, and 'geeks' like it because there just isn't that much of it around (see: Heroes).

I do like Dune, at least the first book.

The "geek hive mind" is something that turns me off completely from geek culture. It's too much like a religion. I didn't expect that aspect of being an adult geek.

I don't think your opinion on Dollhouse is too unusual, that's what I've noticed others saying (but I normally stay away from the "In Joss we Trust" type fansites because they creep me out, so I could be wrong). That said, despite Echo being barely a character (clearly the weakest link of the show), the other characters are interesting enough that I am a pretty big fan.

I'm pretty sure that while this "hive mind" might seem strong on the surface, you could go to any Star Wars website and see huge flame wars over if the prequels do suck, and I'm sure there's plenty of people on Star Trek forums who hate "Voyager", much to the chargin of a whole slew of others.

I have to completely agree.
I am most definitely a geek, but I think there is a difference between being a geek and being someone who just has to like everything geeky as if it's some contest who has read/seen and knows more about all things that belong in the geek world.

I like Dollhouse and I like Fringe. If either get canceled, I won't shed a single tear. They're both decent shows, but Fringe is no X-Files and Dollhouse... while interesting, I feel there is a bunch missing in comparison of some of Joss's other vehicles. I wouldn't pass my judgment onto others so I hope they feel free to enjoy what they enjoy and offer the same openness towards me.

People just let their culture consume them. Enjoy what you enjoy. No one is any less of a geek for not liking things that are classic or massively popular. Where would individuality come in if everyone had to fit some specific geek mold? Hell, I work at a horror convention and even started some horror scripts, but in comparison to the people who show up I'm 5% horror fan. I don't really care, but they don't ostracize me. As long as there is an understanding and everyone is cool, I'm cool. It's the obsessed ones that creep me out and put shame to any culture they supposedly follow. There is no reason to throw hate around because someone isn't on their "level". It's all in good fun, not something to get hostile about.

The X-Men movies are turds, and Jackman is merely passable as Wolverine... don't get me started on Deadpool. God dammit, now I'm thinking about it. Seriously, Ryan Reynolds? Why?

::deep breath::

There are so many geek sacred cows that I have failed to bow to, Neil Gaiman and They Might be Giants, just to name two that were mentioned. I have a bedroom dedicated to books and comics, but I never got the big deal with Gaiman... don't ask me why. Douglas Adams? Same thing. I read HGttG once, shrugged, and went back to Heinlein. Everyone likes different things, even in a geek hive mind.

I'm honestly not that into serious sci-fi , but I did enjoy the first two Dune books . I enjoyed Dan Simmon's Hyperion books even more though . Hopefully you've taken a chance on them .

I consider myself a bit of a geek, but I dont really read sci-fi, I prefer my sci-fi in movie format...I have never read any of the "classic" sci-fi reading...and yes, I thing Hugh Jackman is hot!

Watched Dollhouse only because it was in between Sarah Connor: Chronicles and Battlestar Galatica. But since BSG ended I don't watch anything on the tube friday night. Moonlight maybe. Dollhouse was just to shallow. My other thing is that I love Dr. Who but I don't have all the episodes memorized, read all the books, or have it as a ring tone. But whenever I mention it it's like so blah blah blah 27 book had this going on blah blah blah so and so they might come back, I can't do that. I love still the show.

confession: i'm not into Dr. Who. i've seen a few episodes here and there, but it just didn't attract my attention. i've read a bunch of the Dune books, but i was ten or twelve at the time and didn't get enough out of them to even remember which ones i've read.

and you know what? i don't really like Star Trek all that much. unlike Dr. Who, i've seen more than enough of it to have an informed opinion (all my friends in high school were trekkies). aside from a few characters--well, just Sisko, really--it just didn't do much for me. also, that whole "imzadi" thing made geek romance really really really creepy for several years.

Dr. Who gives me the hives. Maybe it was the irritating fanboys in college. Actually, that's exactly what it was.

You know, for as much geek-media as I consume, I don't identify as a geek because of my fanboy-ness. I identify as a geek because I make things that require geeky skills in my free time (and my pay time too). Maybe hacker is a better word (hacker in the original sense of the term. I generally avoid criminality.) Doing open-source software, getting involved in a local hackerspace, building a 3d printer... that makes me a real geek.

Anybody can watch TV. The TV shows are cool, don't get me wrong, but I'd rather make the future happen than watch fantasies about it in a movie.

I acctually agree w what you said (cept the never reading dune bit) old scifi with a VERY few exceptions offends me 2 much to be readable or worse dresses up magic and calls it science)

Julies verne is acctually one of the rare exceptions in that the since is no only plausible but exsists but he was INCREDIBLY progressive for his time (plus hes now what we call steampunk wich makes him automaticly cool)


What i do find funny about huge jackman is his 8yo son used his dad beign wolverene to try to pic up 2 14 yo girls. not really relevant but funny.

I think that there is a kind of hive mentality as you mention to some degree. But inside a rough framework of points of common reference, there is a very large degree of variance between geeks. My girlfriend, for example, thinks that every BBC comedy every created is superb and without fail. I, however, am a bit more selective and think many of those shows she enjoys are completely derivative and unfunny.

Anytime anyone tries to paint any group into a cultural stereotype, it makes me object quite a bit. I suppose you could consider me a geek, but though I have watched and enjoyed almost every Star Wars film, I can't say that I believe they're the best movie series in the world. I always identified more with adjectives like "arty" or being "intellectual" which were the terms people were mostly likely and are still most likely to use to describe me. That these pursuits are somewhere on the geek spectrum I certainly admit to and take my place there.

The question of course is whether geek refers to a set of interests or to a set of behaviors. And if we mean "behaviors", how much trouble does this person have with social interaction? Those who clearly do are the ones everyone automatically labels "geek".

Are you talking about the Thomas Covenant Chronicles? I think that is one reaon I liked those books. It was the first novel where I hated the protagonist, but enjoyed the books because of all of the other characters.

Firefly isn't sf. I can't speak to Dollhouse since I stopped watching on account of how disappointing it was.

I know how you feel about Hugh Jackman. We should start a "I'm Sorry But I Just Don't Want to Fuk Hugh Jackman" club. You can be president, I'll be treasurer.

I felt the same way about Dollhouse, mostly because I really kind of detest Eliza Dushku. But I kept watching anyway, perhaps out of loyalty to the Whedon or perhaps out of lust for Tahmoh Penikett and whoever plays Topher. But with the introduction of Alan Tudyk, my viewership is pretty much guaranteed. He's just too awesome to pass up.

The idea that not liking the Dollhouse is somehow heretical doesn't exactly jibe with reality. Hell, if anything, I can name off more "geek" folk that actively despise the show than ones who will defend its merits, let alone claim it's heretical to think otherwise.

That's pretty much how it goes with the rest of your list as well. Dune hasn't been relevant, required sacred reading since, um... I don't think it ever was, actually. It's certainly well known, and has plenty of admirers, but that's the limit of it.

If there's some hive mind concensus that They Might Be Giants are our bards, I've never seen it. Half the geeks I know couldn't even identify one of their songs, and I wouldn't take one of their albums as a gift if it were wrapped in 10 dollars bills.


(Incidentally, if you stopped reading the Thomas Covenant books because he's a rapist, then you're definitely not alone. Arguing over the merits of that series is a time honored tradition.)

I say "Meh" to the whole idea of having "cred" in any particular area. I like some sci-fi stuff, but I've never read Dune, The Hitchhiker's Guide, or a slew of other must reads. I haven't seen all the right movies. I don't even want to see the Star Wars Christmas Special. I also don't play video games, don't read comic books, and have no idea about any Anime.

I like the things I like. I don't really care if someone else thinks "You need to read this!!!!OMGWTFBBQ!!!" I wasn't offended by the digital redo of the original Star Wars movies. I was bored by Buffy.

Why does anyone care what anybody else thinks about their own likes and dislikes?