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MissTruthHurts

MissTruthHurts

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

APR 16, 2009 02:43 PM

Too embarrassed to talk to your friends about your foot fetish? Not sure when to tell your partner about those, um, nasty genital warts? Need some Gotha Stewart home-ec advice for your next soiree? Not sure how to get your foot in the door of that fab new career you want? I got you covered. Miss Truth Hurts is here to answer all of your love, life, sex, career, and relationship questions. Ask anything. I've been there/done that (except for the warts) and I've dished out advice to readers just like you through the pages of my advice book/lifestyle guide, Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star.

Send your questions, dilemmas, and conundrums to misstruthhurts@suicidegirls.com.

Alternatively, SG members can send a message via the site to MissTruthHurts.

We won't use your name, just the city you're writing from.


Q: I've had my dog Sweetie for three years. I've had my boyfriend for six months. I love my dog. I love my BF. My BF doesn't love my dog. And my dog positively loathes my BF. We were in bed the other night and Sweetie bit him in the ass at the most inopportune moment. BF says, "Sweetie goes or I go." I'm leaning towards keeping Sweetie but my friends say I'm nuts. The BF is gorgeous, talented, brave, sober, well-off, and worships the ground I walk on. Sweetie? He's truly been my best friend. What would you do?

-Sad in Seattle


A: Dogs over dudes my friend. Dogs are more loyal, loving, and faithful, and generously lavish their owners with affection. They come when they're called, they like to spoon and cuddle, and they always stay the night. And, let's not forget dogs are a good judge of character. If your dog is not digging your dude, then maybe he's onto something. I would trust your companion's instincts on this one instead of your hormones. And, besides, if the guy really loved you, he wouldn't ask you to make this heart-breaking choice. What kind of guy makes his girl get rid of something she loves? Especially a little pooch?! A good guy and a true animal lover would never put you in this position, and his ultimatum shows what kind of person he really is. Put your beau up for adoption and tell your girlfriends to stop thinking so desperately.


Q: My significant other and I are really oral and I have recently introduced him to toys and that's all good. But, he got a flavored gel that gets hot when you blow on it and I can't stand that sensation! He, however, seems to love it. How do I break it to him that I am hot and tingly enough down there without killing his recent excitement about using this stuff?

-Burning in Bellefonte


A: No boy is worth burning your beaver for! Tell your man that while you love the idea of a fun, flavored gel, that the specific gel he picked out is just cooking your coochie too much and you'd like to try another. There are hundreds of choices when it comes to gels, lubes, and oils. Go to a sex store with him and pick up a bunch of those small sample size gels for a buck or two and see what works best for you. If he's stuck on the brand and flavor that he bought, then just use it on him for hand jobs, titty fucks, and, if it's edible, BJs.


Q: Does a good sense of humor really matter if the guy is ugly?

-Overly Worried in Overland Park, Kansas


A: Of course it does! Look at all the not-so-handsome funnymen who land hot babes. Take David Spade for instance. He's short, not Hollywood-handsome by any stretch of the imagination, and has hooked up with some of the most beautiful women in the world, such as Heather Locklear, Pamela Anderson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Nicollette Sheriden, and countless Playboy Playmates. Sure, he has money, but those hotties do too, so it's clearly the sense of humor that got the gals hitting the sheets with this frumpy funnyman.


Q: I am a 32-year-old woman engaged to a 26-year-old man. Things are not smooth sailing. I have a 13-year-old and a 9-year-old and they always come first. My kids are very attached to my fiancé, but I'm afraid if I marry him I'll never be happy. If I say black, he says white. I don't know what to do.

-Torn in Toronto


A: Just like couples shouldn't "stay together for the kids," you can't marry a guy just because your kids like him. It will do them no service to have to witness an unhappy relationship day in-day out. Break it off now before you're in too deep.


Carrie Borzillo-Vrenna is Suicide Girls' sex, love, and life advice columnist. She is an entertainment journalist, rock wife, and author of Cherry Bomb: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Better Flirt, a Tougher Chick, and a Hotter Girlfriend, and to Living Life Like a Rock Star and Eyewitness Nirvana: The Day-by-Day Chronicle.

www.myspace.com/carrieborzillovrenna
www.carriebv.com


keeperdesign

keeperdesign

Beaverton, OR
June 2008

APR 22, 2009 06:04 AM

Right on with the dog vs boyfriend question. What kind of dillweed makes ultimatums like that? If my dog doesn't warm up to whoever I'm dating, I consider it a red flag.

formerviking

formerviking

Denver, PA
May 2006

APR 22, 2009 06:20 AM

I would say what kind of person has a dog that bites people & thinks that it's ok ? Must be a small dog , because it 's " cute " when they do it , right ? Maybe a simple training course would be the answer for the problem ?

TaoAndCoffee

TaoAndCoffee

Stoney Creek, ON
June 2007

APR 22, 2009 07:35 AM

formerviking said:
I would say what kind of person has a dog that bites people & thinks that it's ok ? Must be a small dog , because it 's " cute " when they do it , right ? Maybe a simple training course would be the answer for the problem ?



I completely agree with this. This isn't a relationship problem, this is a pet behavioural problem. Right away I think a few things:

1. like formerviking says, the dog is a little fluffball that can do what he wants without discipline because he's cute, so he thinks being nasty is just fine.

2. the dog is threatened by the bf's existence in the "pack", which initially just consisted of girl and dog. He's challenging the bf to regain his status.

3. the dog is being protective of the girl and views the bf as a threat.

4. if the dog was a shelter pup, maybe he was mistreated by a male in his previous home.

5. The bf is not cool around the and dog reads the bf's body language (which animals do WAY better than humans anyway), and reacts as if it's a threat.

Having said all that, the ultimatum shows that the guy is a bit of a douche and has little regard for animals or this girl's feelings. The advice is sound, but for god's sakes, get the dog some damn training!

KTDP

KTDP

Montreal, QC
April 2009

APR 22, 2009 08:35 AM

Agreed on the whole spiel about getting married for the kids.

Remj

Remj

Seattle, WA
April 2003

APR 22, 2009 04:29 PM

I find the article weak on consistent answers.

The first and fourth answers oppose each other. External force, determines state of relationship: First, yes. Fourth, no. Inconsistent, unless you're valuing pet advice over children advice.

I'm sure the woman would be better off finding some kind of pet counselor, to work out a long-term solution with the boyfriend. (And the fourth question, I agree the woman needs her own man that she respects and cares for.)

private_grave

private_grave

Belgium
April 2005

APR 23, 2009 04:13 AM

A pet counselor?

It's probably cheaper to get a new boyfriend.



redclayrambler6

redclayrambler6

I'm lost
August 2008

APR 25, 2009 03:32 AM

have to say, along with the others I disagree with the dog advice.

If my dog bit my girlfriend on the ass while we were having sex I'd be mortified