Question About Selling Your Semen

After my frustrating door to door semen sales job went bust I've decided to take it to the Pacific Reproductive Services, a lesbian run sperm bank. I have a question or two for any of the fellows (or felletes!) in the know.

Now, exactly how much THC can be surging through my system before they say no? I told the lady on the phone I don't partake when I actually do. Sweet Lord, do I partake. Is this a guaranteed Take Your Sperm And Shove It or will they let it sliiiiiiiiiiide?

What else can I expect in the way of tests, requirements, what have you?

Are they really going to give me money for this???

The thread title is the name of my new band.

Well, this certainly wins "Most Ridiculous Thread of the Hour". Kudos.

Chances are that if you are not smart enough to stay away from your keyboard when stoned, perhaps it's best that you continue to just keep your donations on Kleenex.

what the flying fuck...?

From the sounds of it you'll come in smelling so high they'll send you right back out.

Full on prostate exam.

You'll probably leave owing them money.

I can't believe that just fucking happened.

Where's SnakePlissken when you need him?

I'm all the day with my unanswered questions up.

Here. Maybe that will answer some of your questions.

However, you should probably not be donating. Especially if you're going to lie to them. That makes you irresponsible and kind of a jerk.

God bless Canadians.

Glad to be of service. I think?

They want to know if you smoke pot because smoking pot can reduce your sperm count, making it less likely that your sperm will actually impregnate a woman who is paying an awful lot of money and has a whole lot of hopes and dreams riding on the procedure (which is a hell of a lot less fun than your part in the matter).

Don't be a dick. Just sell plasma or something.

::edit:: after reading FreakPirate's link, I'm guessing you won't pass the initial test where they check the count and motility if you're a heavy pot smoker, so no, they won't be paying you anyway.

I bet you could find somebody to buy a kidney pretty easily.

and i quote
"Remember that you must abstain from ejaculation for 48-72 hours prior to your appointment. If this is an issue, let me know and we will reschedule you."

Seriously dude... don't do this.

Mods: And you don't move this to Silliness?

Looking at the majority of respondents, I'd say Silliness went to the thread instead of the other way around this time.

It would appear so, wouldn't it?

I get dibs on "Door to Door Semen Sales"