NEWS: Facebook Made Me Do It

CULTURE: Facebook Made Me Do It

I can't imagine a parody of an out-of-touch, overly paranoid headline would look any more ridiculous than this actual headline. With quotes from actual people.

Really? "Sick" in all caps, was that necessary? And you, a shitty tabloid, are taking credit for the removal of the application, as if you won some epic moral war? There's got to be a better problem for you to address, right? Since you wield such impressively righteous power.

Like, maybe tackling this knife-crime epidemic? In my opinion -- and really, I'm just some idiot, what do I know -- if given the choice between stopping a fake knife battle hurting no one, and an actual knife battle in which people are killed, I'd opt for the latter. You know, the real one. The same way stopping an actual war probably outranks stopping kids playing war.

Here's a slightly more complicated variation for you to test your reactions on. Are you ready, The Sun? Okay.

You stumble across two kids playing cops and robbers, across the street from an actual robber, who is robbing.

Do you:

A) Arrest the kid pretending to be a robber, for glorifying such a hideous and corrupt occupation?

B) Arrest the kid pretending to be a robber for the above reasons, while also giving a medal to the cop for exhibiting imaginary bravery in the face of a pretend crime.

C) Ignore the kids and focus on the actual problem, that being the robber and your continued existence.

The answer is what the fuck.

Thank God! Had they left the application up kids everywhere would have continued to use it for the next few days before quickly becoming bored with it and moving on to the "Friends For Sale" application (Good Lord! Our children are engaging in human slavery!!), before dumping that for the Mob Wars application (the mob kills!) and eventually an invitation inviting them to take the "Which Gossip Girl Character Are You?" quiz (Outrageous! I'm clearly Blair Waldorf!)

This man clearly has my sympathies, as do the millions of relatives of murder victims who are forced to confront images of murder on TV, film and the news on a daily basis. But he's angry at the wrong people.

The application may be in poor taste but it's certainly no worse than your average video game. And saying that it somehow targets real life thugs seems like a tremendous leap. I can't see someone actually involved in the stabbing of people having much use for a Facebook app doing the same thing. The same way I doubt many Knights use the Knights app.

Again, I think the better route would be to actually get tough on knife crime.

A chilling message? I defy anyone to show me the individual who was "chilled" upon receiving that message. I think they're overestimating the powers of Facebook. Nothing on Facebook -- short of finding a drunken 3 AM message to an ex in your outbox -- is capable of chilling anyone. Um, or so I hear.

You needed the fucking Scotland Yard to tell you that? Fantastic. Now that he's weighed in on that maybe he can go stop some actual knife violence. Or do you want to ask him if they plan on holding Alan Rickman for questioning due to his actions in the movie Diehard?

Oh no, like shanking! Wait, this one is for Kisses! Yay. Oh no, a Slap one. Ouch! Wink? Creepy! Oh cool, a hug one! Oh man, I sure hope people only do the good ones!

Horrify?

"Dad, wait, I can explain!"

"How are you gonna explain THIS?"

"Well, I didn't actually shank anyone, it's a computer thing, it just sends them a message."

"Oh. Ok... A chilling message?"

"Yes."

"Fine. I'm going back to sleep, just stay out of my shit, Gary."




TheCoolerKing mourns the death of Scrabulous

too bad about that Knox kid he looks really familiar and i imdb'd him but i still cant place his character...



also: wtf? Superpoke? big frigging deal.... cmon people. oddly enough, this reminds me of when, in the days of the sega cd, they were trying to say that the game Night Trap would make people want to break into peoples homes and shit. god... people can be so stupid.

wow The Sun once again showing how its a utter piece of trash.

I too mourn the loss of Scrabulous. In addition to being a kick-ass activity to play with my best friend when we were online (we live in separate cities), it also was the inspiration for my recent string of assault with board-game incidents. They never see it coming when I sneak up behind them and either crack a game board over their heads or beat them with a sock I've stuffed full of THOSE DAMN Q's!!

The page three girls nonwithstanding, of course.

The Sun has a habit of building things up only to destroy them. Thats the sole purpose of the paper. I've seen the sun print so many messages from facebook after crimes and murders from friends and family using the site to show there support. Then the sun turns on facebook at the first chance they get. They always do.

I've never used facebook myself and while i do admit the knife thing is quite badly timed especially in England at the moment, the words personal responsibility come to mind. Anyone carry a knife is a total fucking idiot and them using facebook is certainly not the problem.

Everyone always looks elsewhere rather than facing the problem at hand. Facebook certainly isn't to blame for whats going on in this country at the moment.

Wow. Salliss and I were talking earlier today about how bad the knife laws are in Britain, but I didn't realize how paranoid they are about this stuff.

Is it not true that police in London are now allowed to randomly search teenagers for knives because of this "epidemic"? I also seem to recall a Nike shoe with the name "STAB" was pulled from shelves because people were "outraged" or something. Ridiculous if you ask me.

The Sun is a rag. I always hate it when it's quoted online by someone who confuses it with a real newspaper.

I am still enjoying playing Scrabulous

Sadly, people still buy it. I can't imagine why.

+ 1

Man, I wish I could SHANK that Sun article with a virtual shiv in a digital non-reality.

Haha, I saw the "SICK" in capitols and immediately thought "Must be the Sun". I do not know if the Sun here is the same company as over there. But they definitely operate the same.

Well, they both have nice tits.

Also, am I the only one who initially thought The Sun was using the word "SICK" to be all 90s retro?

*Dad walks into to room and turns on Computer, goes to facebook*

Dad to Son: How did you learn about this, who taught you to this?

Son to Dad: wait i can explain Dad!!

Dad to Son: Where did you learn to do this?

Son to Dad: I learned it from watching you alright? I learned it from watching you!

*Dad with porno mustache stands in a look of amazement and awe*

Announcer: Kids who have parents who shank, have kids who shank be sure to teach your kids about imaginary violence and the dangers of it.

You see the Sun has a well earned reputation for being a total wank stain of a paper and it had to try really hard to keep that going. Previous examples include promoting the idea that Princess Di died in a mass conspiracy rather than because her drunken driver was breaking the speed limit, and claiming that Scousers were a bunch of hooligans who caused the death of hundreds of innocent people at Hillsborough rather than pointing out that the security forces just kept letting people in when the place was already WAY over capacity. If they actually started taking an admirable moral guideline it would confuse the millions of people who give it more credence than, well, anything, and they would start to question whether or not we really need a new pair of tits on page three every day in order for this country to function. I mean can you imagine the chaos?!

The Sun articles are not news.

At least gun control stopped all the violence.

I really felt violated by that Facebook App where someone tried to give me a Cleveland Steamer.

It's The Sun, so it doesn't normally hit my radar, but the terrifying thing is that as far as I can see it, these Murdoch tabloids do actually pwn the hearts and minds of their readership. Be very afraid. Of course, they SHOUT AT THEIR READERSHIP on a regular basis, just to make it a bit EASIER for the "readers" to understand exactly which points they should be OUTRAGED at.

TBH, when I first heard about this, I thought it was a standalone application, which must admit I did think was pretty close to the bone, as it were, but this is on SuperPoke? Bloody hell, let's all get a life here, or at least a sense of perspective.

Oh, and I thought that "sick" was a good thing these days? I'm getting old.

Best thing is to read Private Eye and just laugh at how often these kinds of papers print articles or editorials which directly contradict their editorial policy, or even just how often the editorial policy changes without comment. Yes this makes me chortle in my poke-proof ivory tower.

That's right we need to focus on the virtual crimes and not the real ones or the causes that lead to crime.

The Sun papers we have here in Canada are also terrible rags, but they are nothing like as bad as the one in the UK.