NEWS: Jennifer Lopez: Everything ThatÂ’s Wrong With Everything

CELEB: Jennifer Lopez: Everything That’s Wrong With Everything

BY THE COOLER KING

The world is full of assholes. An unending sea of roiling, bubbling assholes, growing, spawning combining to bring forth even bigger, and bigger assholes on a minute by minute basis. A sea so massive in scope that itÂ’s become nearly impossible to stand out in if youÂ’re anything short of a murderer. All this makes Jennifer LopezÂ’s latest offering even more special... impressive even.

Not only did she manage that impressive feat, she went further, managing to embody nearly everything wrong with America today in one single statement. IÂ’m not sure most could do this even if trying. A coked-up Donald Trump doesnÂ’t might not even be able to hit that mark every time.

Bravo. I mean, really, well done. Before I attempt to break that bullshit down, consider that this was a statement made to A PUBLIC ORGANIZATION. This wasnÂ’t some late night drunken confession to a close friend who saw dollar signs. This wasnÂ’t in some diary stolen from her house. Not only does she think this way, (which IÂ’m sure a few jerk-holes here and there do) she thinks itÂ’s okay to express this thought to the public.

Things Ruining America Found Within Jennifer Lopez

People are spoiled - Pretty easy to grasp. She takes things for granted. does not value them. Cares nothing for objects which other people create. half-heartedly attempts to recycle them before blaming someone else ("it's a shame" in regards to their not taking children's clothes. Yes, indeed, THAT'S the shame. That part) and then throwing the clothes away. And then telling the world about it.

Kids donÂ’t appreciate anything - Kids get this way by getting handed things they o not appreciate. Also, by witnessing shitty people act shitty. Made worse when aforementioned shitty person is a parent.

Kids are selfish - They get this way by feeling they deserve things more than others. Things like soon to be discarded designer clothes.

People are selfish - See above. Those kids grow up and ruin things. Also, see, almost any newspaper headline.

People are wasteful - They reveal this by discarding designer clothes.

People are shallow - They think designer labels mean something. I mean, they do, to a degree. Some are quite nice. Nice enough I'd dare to not throw out after one wearing.

People are lazy – Putting together outfits is fun! Sure, using the word "outfit" leaves you open to ridicule but you get what I mean. Finding ways to recombine old shit with new shit and designer shit is challenging and to be much more vaule than simply throwing on a designer dress. C'mon.


ThatÂ’s it. Is there really anything currently plaguing this planet she country she missed? She did everything with the exception of murder, and, as far as I can tell, she doesnÂ’t covet her neighbor's wife.





TheCoolerKing is Comic Con bound

God bless america

What's wrong with America is after 8 years of an Administration and Congress that has approved an illegal war, torture and repeal of basic rights, people think the clothing of the kids of a movie star is our biggest problem.

Celebrity gossip is a complete waste of time, but hearing about how wasteful people are by purchasing rediculously expensive clothing for children who will outgrow it almost immediately, and then on top of that only letting them get one wear out of it and tossing it?....That just annoys the heck out of me.

You're right. Every article written should address the Bush administration, specifically. Articles slamming other out of touch, money-hungry, ego-driven monsters are diverting resources from the real problem.

How dare I waste space in my CELEBRITY column on Jennifer Lopez.

All films, shows, songs, stand-up routines and articles should be about the war and/or W.

(_someone_ had to post it...)

how dare you. haha. love it. shame on j lo.

all that, and she CAN'T SING, either!

Obviously (or I guess not) I don't have a problem with a celebrity article since I read it. I had a problem with saying these kid's clothing is "everything that's wrong with America." Movie stars have always been nutty and amusing but they're not what's wrong with the US.

lame article on a lame subject

Well I think those are some very truthful statements and we should all slap each other and say what the fuck buddy quit being an ass.

"Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got,...I 'm still,...I 'm still... Jenny from the block." If the 'Block' she is referring to is Rodeo drive, then that is a correct and factual statement. Ben must be giving a sigh of relieve and saying "I am not sure what I saw at the time..I guess it was phase."

Yikes! Was this even edited before being tossed up there?

+1

I enjoyed the article, but what the hell happened?

i think we would be better off in neither of them procreated...

unfortunately...

Well I never would have guessed that rich people are out of touch.

maybe if you had more money, you'd understand them a little better, hypocrite.

it's funny too, because i see things like that everyday. i used to live in a low class town, which was cool, but the other year i moved to the town im at now, which is extraordinarily wealthy (im not rich, everyone around me is.) so in my junior year at a new school, 2nd week, chem class, this random girl sitting next to me turns and says "so do you like my purse? it's new." um, yeah, it's nice. "It's designer." oh. well, how much did that set you back? "it was $1000." what? "uh, it was half off." *scoffs and flips her hair at me* yo bitch, curb your 'tude, like i really fuckin care about your bag, i was only asking to be nice. so i fuckin wrote on it with a pen when she wasn't looking, give me a fuckin attitude. and its sad too, cuz its a whole town of people like that. even sadder was that she was an obese white chick. couldnt have just spent your money on something more useful? like a gym membership and a pair of free weights?

So you fought overindulgence with immaturity? Congratulations.

And it's been a while, but...

yeah, it felt pretty good too. i have my moments. but you also have to understand, this was the same girl that bragged daily that she fed her pug filet mignon. doesnt have much to do with the pen, but certain degrees of vapidity and spoiled selfishness can't be faked. besides, it wasnt even that much, i dont think she ever noticed. i experienced sharp pains in my frontal lobe whenever she spoke, like the time her mom spent $400 for her a month before christmas, just to get ready for christmas.

Err, grammar check, spell check and edit. Check.

It would be soooooo good for her public image if she auctioned off this only worn once expensive baby clothes and used the proceeds to

There's only a billion or so people dying from starvation and lack of medical attention.

I don't think it's a problem with America in the singular. This seems to be a product of over paid celebrities and capitalism.

It is unfortunately a world wide epidemic in society.

We stuff our faces with white bread and starve too.

Who cares? I'm sure it was worth the epic lulz to do it.

Iif I was mega rich, I don't think I'd ever want to wear the same socks more than once. New socks just feel so nice.