We all have family and friends who have failed to receive the Good News of the Gospel.
The unsaved will be 'left behind' on earth to go through the "tribulation period" after the "Rapture". You remember how, for a short time, after (9/11/01) people were open to spiritual things and answers. (We are still singing "God Bless America" at baseballs' seventh inning stretch.) Imagine how taken back they will be by the millions of missing Christians and devastation at the rapture. They will know it was true and that they have blown it. There will be a small window of time where they might be reached for the Kingdom of God. We have made it possible for you to send them a letter of love and a plea to receive Christ one last time.

Services Overview

We have set up a system to send documents by the email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.

Kristie

Chicago, IL

December 2004

JUN 17, 2008 06:00 PM

Sigh.

atomicant

Portland, OR

June 2003

JUN 17, 2008 06:08 PM

this is one the few times that i am really glad my family is devoutly catholic (myself excluded).

Bloomsday

Cleveland, OH

January 2004

JUN 17, 2008 06:16 PM

A Prayer from the Left[ist] Behind

Fuck the hypocrite mourners of saints, the Opus Deized and confused.
Fuck the ghoulish puppeteers, the corpse-chewers, the grinning exterminators.
Fuck the Promisebreaking circle-jerkers, squinting toward Bethlehem.
Fuck the drapers of titties, of pudenda, and of Guernican faces of war.
Fuck the mastur-minds of payback time in their oval orifices.

Pray the poor, the persecuted/prosecuted, the forgotten be mended.
Pray the money-changers be surely defenestrated from the Temple.
Pray the televisions speak true and intelligible tongues to our eyes.
Pray the origins and destinies of humanity be justly restored in perpetuity.
Pray the Raptured removal of Ratfuckers and Plumbers from our midst
be quickened, so that we, remaining, may, Enlightened, begin, anew.

WyldeSage

I'm lost

June 2008

JUN 17, 2008 07:07 PM

The only "rapture" I get is when I am having sex.

RudieCantFail

Baton Rouge, LA

January 2006

JUN 17, 2008 07:11 PM

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA

October 2005

JUN 17, 2008 07:13 PM

Mom and Dad have been raptured?

But that means I'm....

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

adjunct

Philadelphia, PA

July 2002

JUN 17, 2008 07:14 PM

People are going to be hella pissed when all these nyah-nyah "I am in the Kingdom of Heaven and you ain't" messages get sent out prematurely b/c these dicks are in jail for fraud.

Margot_Dent

Los Angeles, CA

February 2004

JUN 17, 2008 08:20 PM

Hooraydiation said:
Mom and Dad have been raptured?

But that means I'm....

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

best thing i've read all day.

Coyotemike

USA

May 2006

JUN 17, 2008 08:21 PM

I think it would be great if someone hacked the system and sent out the e-mails.

BlastProcessing

USA

OLD SKOOL

JUN 17, 2008 08:34 PM

God damn, I wish I had thought of that.

Darke

Columbia, MO

June 2005

JUN 17, 2008 08:38 PM

Dibs on Connecticut

PaulNikon

Melbourne, FL

February 2003

JUN 18, 2008 09:45 AM

Ever seen the bumper sticker "In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned"

I'm sure that is what Jesus wants. Cars flying down the highway without drivers at the wheel.