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PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

JUN 17, 2008 04:39 PM


Send a message to your loved ones who missed the Rapture.

We all have family and friends who have failed to receive the Good News of the Gospel.
The unsaved will be 'left behind' on earth to go through the "tribulation period" after the "Rapture". You remember how, for a short time, after (9/11/01) people were open to spiritual things and answers. (We are still singing "God Bless America" at baseballs' seventh inning stretch.) Imagine how taken back they will be by the millions of missing Christians and devastation at the rapture. They will know it was true and that they have blown it. There will be a small window of time where they might be reached for the Kingdom of God. We have made it possible for you to send them a letter of love and a plea to receive Christ one last time.


Services Overview

We have set up a system to send documents by the email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.

Kristie

Kristie

Chicago, IL
December 2004

JUN 17, 2008 06:00 PM

Sigh.

atomicant

atomicant

Portland, OR
June 2003

JUN 17, 2008 06:08 PM

this is one the few times that i am really glad my family is devoutly catholic (myself excluded).

Bloomsday

Bloomsday

Cleveland, OH
January 2004

JUN 17, 2008 06:16 PM

A Prayer from the Left[ist] Behind

Fuck the hypocrite mourners of saints, the Opus Deized and confused.
Fuck the ghoulish puppeteers, the corpse-chewers, the grinning exterminators.
Fuck the Promisebreaking circle-jerkers, squinting toward Bethlehem.
Fuck the drapers of titties, of pudenda, and of Guernican faces of war.
Fuck the mastur-minds of payback time in their oval orifices.

Pray the poor, the persecuted/prosecuted, the forgotten be mended.
Pray the money-changers be surely defenestrated from the Temple.
Pray the televisions speak true and intelligible tongues to our eyes.
Pray the origins and destinies of humanity be justly restored in perpetuity.
Pray the Raptured removal of Ratfuckers and Plumbers from our midst
be quickened, so that we, remaining, may, Enlightened, begin, anew.

WyldeSage

WyldeSage

I'm lost
June 2008

JUN 17, 2008 07:07 PM

The only "rapture" I get is when I am having sex. tongue

RudieCantFail

RudieCantFail

Baton Rouge, LA
January 2006

JUN 17, 2008 07:11 PM

Hooraydiation

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA
October 2005

JUN 17, 2008 07:13 PM

Mom and Dad have been raptured?

But that means I'm....

adjunct

adjunct

Philadelphia, PA
July 2002

JUN 17, 2008 07:14 PM

Services Overview

We have set up a system to send documents by the email, to the addresses you provide, 6 days after the "Rapture" of the Church. This occurs when 3 of our 5 team members scattered around the U.S fail to log in over a 3 day period. Another 3 days are given to fail safe any false triggering of the system.


People are going to be hella pissed when all these nyah-nyah "I am in the Kingdom of Heaven and you ain't" messages get sent out prematurely b/c these dicks are in jail for fraud.

Margot_Dent

Margot_Dent

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

JUN 17, 2008 08:20 PM

Hooraydiation said:
Mom and Dad have been raptured?

But that means I'm....



best thing i've read all day.

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

USA
May 2006

JUN 17, 2008 08:21 PM

I think it would be great if someone hacked the system and sent out the e-mails.

BlastProcessing

BlastProcessing

USA
OLD SKOOL

JUN 17, 2008 08:34 PM

God damn, I wish I had thought of that.

Darke

Darke

Columbia, MO
June 2005

JUN 17, 2008 08:38 PM

Dibs on Connecticut biggrin

PaulNikon

PaulNikon

Melbourne, FL
February 2003

JUN 18, 2008 09:45 AM

Ever seen the bumper sticker "In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned"

I'm sure that is what Jesus wants. Cars flying down the highway without drivers at the wheel.

Squire

Squire

I'm lost
November 2003

JUN 18, 2008 03:15 PM

Darke said:
Dibs on Connecticut biggrin



I loved it!

lil_tuffy

lil_tuffy

MODERATOR

San Francisco, CA

JUN 18, 2008 03:19 PM

A world without Christians sounds a-ok to me!

SoulRiver

SoulRiver

Columbus, OH
January 2005

JUN 18, 2008 04:07 PM

Dear Loved One Left Behind,
Please go into my apartment and destroy my porn stash.
War Redlegs, see ya later.

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

JUN 18, 2008 04:39 PM

Fraudulent. The Rapture happened in 1937, and nobody (least of all the fundies) has noticed... tongue

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

USA
May 2006

JUN 18, 2008 04:52 PM

lil_tuffy said:
A world without Christians sounds a-ok to me!



It does sound rather fun, doesn't it.

Necia

Necia

San Francisco, CA
August 2005

JUN 18, 2008 05:42 PM

atomicant said:
this is one the few times that i am really glad my family is devoutly catholic (myself excluded).



+1

If someone forced me to follow a religion again, I'd go back to Catholicism, because 1) I already know all the dance routines, and 2) they tend not to go in for stuff like this.

Sydni

Sydni

SUICIDEGIRL

Washington, USA

JUN 18, 2008 05:44 PM

coyotemike said:
I think it would be great if someone hacked the system and sent out the e-mails.



I'm sure we could find someone.

MrStitches

MrStitches

Brooklyn, NY
November 2003

JUN 18, 2008 07:27 PM

Necia said:

atomicant said:
this is one the few times that i am really glad my family is devoutly catholic (myself excluded).



+1

If someone forced me to follow a religion again, I'd go back to Catholicism, because 1) I already know all the dance routines, and 2) they tend not to go in for stuff like this.



Such a joyless, boring mass though.

Hooraydiation

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA
October 2005

JUN 18, 2008 07:58 PM

It ain't no fun without speaking in tongues.

That said, a world without Christians would just mean some other religion filling the void, and even eliminating all religion would just leave you with a bunch of atheists who are assholes at the same rate as any other group.

Reptilia

Reptilia

Jonesboro, AR
October 2004

JUN 19, 2008 01:55 AM

I wonder how many people actually pay money for this.

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

USA
May 2006

JUN 19, 2008 08:06 AM

Hooraydiation said:
It ain't no fun without speaking in tongues.

That said, a world without Christians would just mean some other religion filling the void, and even eliminating all religion would just leave you with a bunch of atheists who are assholes at the same rate as any other group.



Yeah, but wouldn't it be better if Buddhism was the main religion?

Hooraydiation

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA
October 2005

JUN 19, 2008 08:24 AM

Richard Gere would be president!

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