annoying apartment neighbors

In the immortal words of Denis Leary:

'You know what I want you to do? I want you to go upstairs to that
apartment where that guy keeps playing that Barry Manilow record
"Copacabana" over and over and over again. I want you to ring the
doorbell, and when he answers the door, I want you to stab him in
the neck with a number 2 pencil over and over and over again
because HE... MUST... PAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!

Chop him up and put him in the freezer and
as you leave the apartment, light the place on fire!'

I have TWO evil neighbor houses across the street. The other night one of the crazy no business wearing a tank-top, section 8 moms with 6 kids came banging on the door at 1:30, all stinking like malt liquor and demanding that we move the cars that were parked legally on the street in front of her house so she could park. "'cause it's MY house" She banged on every door in the neighborhood. They sit on the porch drinking tall boys just about 24/7 (thankfully the weather is getting cold now) and arguing about their fucking lame jerry springer ricki lake maury povich lives.

I hope their houses burn and they all die.

I live next to a buncha old people, so if i even fart too loud the cops show up at my house, but they are pretty old so they will hopefully die soon

We have Noise Boy in the next-door apartment. He slams his door very early every morning -- I mean like 7:30, on his way to a power breakfast probably -- and then slams the door going downstairs. Very sullen, hollow-eyed, looks like Yogi Bear in the hallways when he's getting home in his BMW with his dry cleaning. Entirely inconsiderate. He doesn't get women. Of course not.

[Edited to add: I don't get many women either, come to think of it, but probably because I live with one.]

[Edited on Oct 24, 2003 by StickyRice]

until a few days ago i had horrible upstairs neighbors that would blare the mexican polka music through my ceiling. they were horrible!! one of my first annoyances from them was one day i was woken up by their music blaring from their car. and the dad was pounding away with a hammer right next to my window. he was hooking up their cable one satellite or something. and so i went to the living room to try to figure out what was going on and i hear their kid stomping up and down the stairs counting each step by screaming 'UNO DOSE TRES' i thought i was gonna have to kill something.
but one day apparently they got sick of the death looks or something so they stopped blaring the polka music through the ceiling and switched to britney spears.

you'd be suprised how resillient old people are

I've always tried to be polite to my neighbors, but I have been known to engage in such passie-aggressive acts against my own roomies in attempt to get them to leave the house. Most notably was last year, when we had a female roommate who invited her dickhead boyfriend to live with us for the better part of 6 months (he didn't pay rent, either).

I found an album called "Xerophonics" by Stefan Helmreich (see his mp3.com page). The entire album is made from sound samples from copy machines. We played it at full volume for the better part of a week.

She moved out a month early. =)

that reminds me of when i was in the middle of a fight with my girlfriend 2 nights ago and to make her shut up i put on they might be giants "apollo 18" and kept repeating the "please pass the milk please" thing for 3 hours till she finally said she was sorry.

the moral of the story... geeks always win.

i had a neighbor in the house next door to me one summer that had mullet and would blast metillica or megadeath starting at about 630 am and then around 7 would turn it up even louder and starting working on his car. it was always about 100 degrees outside with no AC so i was forced to endure the madness