NEWS: Sweet Jesus, Make Them Stop!

CULTURE: Sweet Jesus, Make Them Stop!

While many sons and daughters will be spending May 11th showering their maternal figures with flowers, cards, handmade macaroni pictures and the like as thanks for being torn asunder from quivering loins (more commonly known as "the miracle of birth"), we are inching ever so closer to Armageddon, and we have no one but the Duggar family to thank.



That's right, a new chapter is being added to the continuing adventures of Jim Bob Duggar and his semen trough cracker factory, uh, wife.

Yes, you read that correctly. Eighteenth child.



For those of you playing at home, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are conservative Baptists from Arkansas. He's a real estate agent and a wannabe Republican senator (he ran in 2002 and 2006, losing both times). She's a walking fetus rotisserie. They have 17 children, who range in age from 20 (Joshua) to 9 months (Jennifer). The rest are as follows:

$20 in the SG Pool says Jedidiah is the first to go gay Democrat pothead atheist. How else do you get through life with a name like "Jedidiah?"

135 months to be exact. That's over 4,000 days (I am not figuring out Leap Years) of little Jesus spawn Children of the Corn, uh, healthy, happy, children, always happy, always smiling, Come and play with us. Come and play with us, Danny...*shudder* Alright, dammit. Enough is enough, I say!



When a stiff wind can blow past your va-jay-jay and make a sound resembling thunderous applause, you have a problem.



When your doctor walks out with your new baby, you have a problem.



When an Internet meme mocking the sorry state of your genitals comes into existence to the laughter of millions, you have a problem.



And yes, they have a TV show. The TV gods could've freed up some airtime for marathons of Manimal or Circus of the Stars, but oh no...

"Jurisdictions?" Good gravy. What's wrong with a chore wheel?

Reversal of outdated, stereotypical gender roles? Oh, those wacky Duggars! What crazy scheme will they think up next? Anal, perhaps?



The Duggers claim they'll keep riding bareback "as long as God wills it."

If those two close in on Daad Mohammed Murad Abdul Rahman's mark in my lifetime, so help me, I'm sharpening my zombie machete.



thefreak, in all seriousness, wishes all you moms out there in SG Land a Happy Mother's Day. And he's shopping for cheap vasectomies in Mexico.

That, right there, is gold.

"Duggar has been been pregnant for more than 11 years of her life..."

*shudders*


*shudders some more*

http://feministing.com/clowncar.jpg

uhhh... which one's Jan?

What do you expect from a religious Arkansas man named Jim Bob? And why th'fuck do all the kids' names begin w/'J'?

Jurisdictions?

just some quick math, 10 centimeters (2.54 centimeters = 1 inch), while the female genitalia is quite amazing when it comes to elasticity, i would assume it does have it's limits. In so much that i would imagine a common question for Michelle is "are you in?"

"As long as God wills it" ?
I'm assuming at 41 she's nearing the end of her fertility, along with a lot of other things, sanity, patience, time, money, dreams of a different life...

How big is the house and what do they do for family vacations?

How many people do they have to hire to take care of these kids?

I'm guessing they don't get a lot of "quality time"

Jinger? Buh?

it had to be said. every sperm is sacred.

though they're not catholics, but the premise is the same.

Hell yes it's selfish. Now if they were farming there children in response to the world food crisis that would be another matter.
It always kills me that people believe in a kind and benevolent god, and at the same time believe that his will is for the world to become even more grossly over-populated, forcing famines, epidemics, wars, environmental ass-rapings, and all 'round world suffering.
Of course it's possible he believes God's will is that the apocalypse be hastened so that He can wipe out the gays, atheists and Darwinists*.

*OT, but has anyone else ever considered that the greatest argument against evolution may be that there are still people who don't believe in it?

Actually, according to this page on their website, they do. Granted, a lot of Bibling is involved, but that's neither here nor there.

-TM

Well played, sir. Well played.

-TM

Maybe I just didn't get enough sleep, but that's hilarious.

And you are entitled to your opinion. However, those of us who find the story equally hilarious and frightening are as well. So, personally, I'm going to joke about it all I want because I think she's a crazy woman, and is adoption that far-fetched a notion for them? Among other things, of course.

-TM

Of course, most Christians don't believe in a kind God.

-TM

I'm sorry, but Jedidiah is the the name you pick to make fun of? Not Jinger? Really?