jesus anyone?

catholicshopper

wheres the buddy christ?

why isn't jesus wearing safety gear? what the fuck kind of example is he setting for those young, impressionabe boys?

come to think of it, why is he standing right behind a young impressionable boy holding a long, cylindrical object?

words fail me...

the ballet and gymnastics ones are the best

Jesus is just not fucking around at all with that hockey stick, man.

let me know if anyone locates the jesus jockstrap

What do YOU want with a Jesus jockstrap, young man?

Conan O'Brien's been featuring these statues on his show for a couple months now. His comments on the football statue ("This kid is tackling Jesus ... and look [turns statue around] he has the dead eyes of a killer.") are fucking priceless. Not only that, they made their own Jesus statues: Jesus playing Solitaire at work, Mechanical Bull-riding Jesus, Jesus Betting on Cockfighting... which offended some viewers, so he made more statues featuring John Lithgow. John Lithgow Walking on Water, John Lithgow and the Last Supper, John Lithgow Raising Roy Orbison from the Dead, and Mary Giving Birth to John Lithgow.

Say what you want about Jesus, but he makes for damn fine humor.

I think it's rather sweet...

hmm ... always knew jesus loves little kids ...
maybe the inventor of childabuse

There are holy figures out there with ak-45's and shit and all kinds of automatic weapons that make more sense to me and history for me than those on conan Obrien and they have been out for a long while..

But i am a weird comic freak so thats something also....

He is kind of sexy, isn't he?

*sigh
catholic merchants are fucked up.
though i must admit I think its even more fucked up the way seeming intellectuals talk shit on Jesus, just because 3rd dimensional toture chambers knowns as organized religions lay claims to him like a bitter x girlfriend heroin adict giving a speach at your funeral to raise funds for her prolonged detachment from reality.
I give props to Budha, and Jesus, and all the other Masters of Light that have taken the time to incarnate in a planet that has been stuck in this galactic quagmire for so long that most of you have forgotten how foolish it truly is to laughingly claim worship to one like Lucifer in whatever trendy way that you do it, when it is beings of his kind that have caused the distorted religions to appear that piss you off so much in the first place.
*sigh again
hey whatever. im aloud to say a little bit every now and then.

praise jesus!
thank you marla and gimme for saving this thread

eric, i think you missed the point. jesus told me to tell you to chill out, buddah thinks you should relax. i just want you to please stop sighing and worship sietan, it's yummy.

[Edited on Jun 07, 2002 by belmondo]

[Edited on Jun 07, 2002 by belmondo]

Speaking of religious paraphernalia,

divine interventions

I have the sneaking suspicion that these don't have the church's stamp of approval though.

In the soon-to-be-shopping-hell-frenzy tomorrow, i hereby resurrect this thread.

Everybody should buy a loved one a Jesus sports statue!
...if only for target practice...

I have afriend who works at Spartacus downtown that tells me the jesus buttplug is one of their best selling items.

my friend Sara actually owned the crucifix dildo from that place. she liked it a great deal...

"Jesus anyone?"

No thanks, I'm full.

yes dad i would like another slice of Jesus