people are stupid.

[repost from seanbonner.com]

The sign on the door says "We Are Open - Please Knock." Most people would understand that this means the gallery is in fact open, and you probably have to knock to get in. It does not mean...

- Pull on the door, and when it doesn't open pull harder, then stand there looking around like the key is outside or something.

- Watch your friend pull the door to no avail, so assume they did it wrong and pull it yourself. Ladies, this one is the one you should take note of. Yes your boyfriend is an idiot, but he's not that dumb. The door really is locked.

- Just walk up and stand there, never once touching the door at all. This isn't the mall, if you aren't stepping on one of those rubber pads and you don't see some crazy montion sensor, chances are the doors aren't automatic.

- Wave to the other people in the gallery, who are obviously looking at art or talking to their friends. It's not their job to let you in, and you might do well to read the sign 3 inches from your face.

- Once you knock, and I start walking up to open the door, you don't need to keep knocking. You've already gotten my attention so how about knocking it the fuck off already. Thanks sport-o.

OK, you've made it past the oh-so-dificult front door, and it's a wonder you ever got inside any place before in your life. What happens now?

- No need to tell me everytime someone else walks up and knocks, I'm standing 3 feet away from you and I'm not deaf so chances are I heard the knock just as well as you.

- Are you getting paid by the gallery? No? Then don't stope what you are doing to go open the door evrytime you see people walking up, maybe it's locked for a reason.

- If the sign on something says "do not touch" then maybe, I don't know, don't touch it?

- Wait 3 seconds while I finish giving directions so someone on the phone before asking me a question. Do you think I'm going to somehow turn into two people, or do you just think your question is more important?

- If you don't plan on buying anything, why ask me if we have 20 different things in stock?

- No, the artist isn't here. This show is open for 5 weeks, 5 days a week, 6 hours a day, do you really think he's just going to sit here that whole time and wait for you to come by and gawk at him?

Oh crap, time to leave, and you have to deal with that tricky door again. The sign on the inside of the door says "please ask to be let out." Here's some things to keep in mind:

- Remember 10 minutes ago when you came and I had to unlock the door? Then I've also had to unlock it several times so other people can come in or get out, guess what? The door isn't going to magically unlock itself when you get up there so that whole pulling on it real hard thing that didn't work at all when you tried to get in isn't going to cut it on the way out either.

- Unlocking the door your self is not asking to be let out. really.

- Again, if I'm obviously talking to someone about the show, just hold your horses, I'll be there in a minute.

Finally..

- This is an art gallery, not city hall and not a police department. Did you see a "parking informcement office" sign on the front door? No, because there isn't one. If you park in the red zone outside and get a ticket, there's nothing I can do to help. Nothing. Now that I've told you that, stop fucking asking me. Maybe you should work on paying attention to your surroundings and not rely on the world being handed to you, whore.

- I watched you drive up in a Lexus with a "Bush/Chaney" & "my child is student of the month..." stickers on the back, and since you look 16, I'm guessing it's your parents. You have nicer clothes on than me, and your shoes probably cost more than everything I have on. Why are you talking like you are straight outta Compton? Do you really think anyone is fooled? They aren't. And by the way, your cell phone is totally played out.

that's just beautiful

Yes! That was a great fucking rant! I especially like the part where you said "sport-o" .

let me tell you, living it wasn't so fun.

i find that similar things happen no matter where you work.

It always sickens and amuses me to see someone point out the usually un-intentional stupidity of people (more often than not those who wear a full body suit of false--as you so nicely described)

I know what you're saying though...makes you just want to bang your head against the wall in hopes that that may somehow make them all go away...

It's funny because it's true. ... and somewhat sad ...

Amazing.

That was a lovely rant.

I used to work in an auto parts store, and would get the following:

Me: What part do you need?
Customer 1: I don't know.


Me: What kind of car do you have?
Customer 2: A blue one.

Me: What kind of car do you have?
Customer 3: A Toyota Lincoln.

Me: What kind of car do you have?
Customer 4: Dosen't your computer know?


No more retail for me, ever ever again.

At the very least you could get a buzzer. They're not that expensive. Lots of small hotels have them. Keep you from having to walk over to the door every time.

maybe illegal but everybody does that

seanbonner said:

blah blah blah

Actually, I don't think those people are stupid so much as they've simply been conditioned by life to expect certain things to happen when they perform certain actions.

You should stop listening to Linkin Park so much.

Yes people are in general stupid, you know that. So make getting in and out "idiot friendly".
That would be the smart thing to do.

I this post.

yep, totally illegal. and kind of a dick-y, elitist thing to do. i mean, yeah, people are phenomenally stupid, but you're the genius who keeps your door locked when you rely on people coming in to support your business.

*sniggers*
Spike

that wasn't for a shepherd fairey show, was it? when the shepherd fairey exhibit came to phoenix, it was pretty much the same situation you just described.

i am guessing it wasn't... there's no way that many assholes could contribute to such a coincidence.

-bobby

one day the stupid shall rise up in the masses

a rabbit is running through the woods, he trips over a log he gets up and say radio? what radio? then he keeps on running

P.S. with that joke i have just stolen . 0012 I'Q points from everyone that read it.

Nope, totally NOT illegal. We have a fire exit and the gallery is a BIG GIANT EMPTY CONCRET BOX so the numerous times the fire department has been here to check on us they are given us a seal of approval, locked door and all. And this is an art gallery, not a retail store, with multi thousand dollar works on the walls at any given time, the locked door is much cheeper than a full time security guard and saves us a ton on insurance. Even they know it's legal.

Yep, it was (is) for the Shepard Fairey show.

Pizza places have a similar locked-door policy. It's so we have time to really look at the person before we let them in, just in case they're coming in to rob us. It also helps us monitor who is coming into the store. It's too easy to disappear into a mob of people during a rush.

That was a beautiful list, by the way. I was laughing so hard I had to let my roommate read it.

Neither do I. Who wants to explain it?

And, Sorcha, that's one of the dumbest policies I've ever heard. It's one thing to have a locked art gallery; let the snobs have their rich rich fun that I will never have because I have no money and haven't the intelligence or ambition to earn any. But a locked door on a pizza parlour? Is it solid gold pizza? Do your napkins have diamonds hot-glued onto them? Do you feed me each individual slice, and are whole pies sold for upwards of a thousand dollars? Is it the best goddamn slice of pizza I've ever had?

Every pizza parlour in my town keeps the door unlocked. You know why? It's a place of business, where they want you to come in a buy a pizza. If they had the doors locked, you know what I'd assume? That they're closed. Then I'd go get a slice of pizza at a place that's open and doesn't have some stupid policy that limits the customers coming into the store.

So, other than your limited explanation of, "We don't trust the customer and don't really want their business so we'll assume that they're here to rob us," and, "We don't have the concept of lines during busy times," maybe you could enlighten me some.