Justice

...is blind?

bah dum tcsh.

DVNO ?

Uh, I think I edited it into nothing. Oops.

Nevermind.

tldnr

America, we have all the justice money can buy!!

Here's what I wanted to say. I have a new idea for a television programme entitled 'Simon's Got Talent'

On the show TV personality Simon Cowell has to live in a council scheme in the south side of Glasgow. He is given a violent and alcoholic father who beats the fuck out of him on a regular basis. His dad has long since lost his routine manual job, and with it goes Simon's belief in stability, progress and self-respect.

Hopeless at football and socially awkward, he finds it impossible to be popular at school. He is also unable to join those middle class kids who find their own problems articulated and validated by rebellious music and modes of dress. He spends his lunchtimes on his own, the hour drawn out before him like a wilderness.

Throughout this he is internally conflicted about his emerging sexuality, which he is unable to comprehend, and threatens to shatter his belief in ritual and superstition he has imbibed from his mother and has otherwise given him direction. His lack of confidence leads inexorably toward failing grades, and he leaves school with minimal qualifications, to take up checkout job in a supermarket.

Abandoned and failing, he retreats into a fantasy world, where he is loved by those who either hate or ignore him now. Although hopeless, he takes up singing not because of a love of music, but as a way of finding acceptance within the culture before him. He quickly becomes a regular on the karaoke machine. Robbie Williams and Mariah Carey are favourites.

He finally makes friends with those who have taken a similar path as him, and they are equally broken and delusional. They try to build each other's confidence with ostentatious displays of compliments. Simon comes to believe that he can sing well.

He is given the opportunity to appear on a TV show, which holds the promise of these singing fantasies becoming real, when it holds the Glaswegian leg of its auditions. He is selected by researchers who can barely contain their laughter when presented with his bizarre appearance and tone-deaf vocals. They compose themselves enough to tell him he has been chosen. (Quite possibly the only time his has ever been chosen for anything, bar a kicking.)

His happiness at an all-time peak, he is lead into a brightly-lit room where a selection of famous businessmen with spiky haircuts use tired, histrionic insults in order to debase and ridicule Simon in front of a stellar array of tranquillised viewers. With machine-like efficiency they make sure that the only thing that gives him the confidence to face the world is crushed in the most humiliating way possible. He leaves in tears.

The businessmen are given millions of pounds for this, and are also charged with systematically controlling and trashing popular music forms that in a bygone age may have given Simon a genuine release from the mundanity of his life.

Then I get to kick him square in the face, and smash his teeth into his own gums.

Any thoughts?

Not cruel enough. Also, you need to properly establish the saintly nature of the businessmen.

definitely tl;dnr.