What would you write?

Good god, whatever you do, dont leave St. John's!

I was in the middle of my list when I realized that I wouldn't need ten things, only 2.

1) Do what you feel is right. They may not be the best decisions, but they made you what I am today, something I wouldn't trade for the world.

2) Winning lotto numbers for the recent past (January of 2005). Just something to send me off in a better direction with minimal financial struggling.

Edit to add a third.

3) Don't tell anyone about the winning numbers. You'll have some good friends and some asshole friends. By the time you win, you'll figure out who's your friend and who's using you.

[Edited on May 04, 2005 by JoshXXX]

1) find out about "social anxiety disorder," get medication
2) always wear a bra
3) talk to the people who sit next to you in english class next year, even if you're terrified
4) when you get to college, major in whatever you want, and stick with it, don't let anybody tell you otherwise
5) he doesn't love you, and you don't love him - STAY AWAY
6) take self defense classes
7) start playing the bass
8) start using birth control pills
9) be nice to mommy, even when you don't want to
10) take lots of phototgraphs, buy film often and don't worry about the cost

Practice your saxophone more

listen to art pepper, lee konitz, zoot simms

dont get a credit card

eat less sugar

avoid slimey things

be true to yourself

be more understanding to your brother

spend more time with your family

dont wag school all the time

dont do the music degree at UWS... you will regret it and end up feeling stale and disgusting

• take more risks (daily)


• Dress better, it really does affect how people judge you


• write down every good thought you have, you can sell them when you're older


• don't lose contact with your friends so easily


• learn to vent your emotions in safer, less drastic ways


• don't waste that year in Durham. it will cost you 4 grand.


• don't mess the about. it's not fair.


• try to remember everything because you'll be pissed you forgot most of it when you reach 20


• discover excellent domestic hygiene much earlier. cleanliness really is a virtue.


• don't bottle things up but only tell people enough to satisfy them. everyone needs mystery!

edited because i never used LIST before.


[Edited on May 04, 2005 by bskyb]

Don't propose to the Kitten, just leave her after a year.

Don't EVER walk into a casino.

Stop drinking now.

Get into therapy/ medication NOW.

Well, I got four serious ones.

Good thread idea.

1) Being shy isn't that bad. You'll get over the worst aspects of it soon enough, and you'll always have a few cool friends.

2) You're gonna lose all of that weight without even trying, so don't worry about being fat. Don't let it permanently change your self-image.

3) You're going to meet a woman named Lindsey who you're going to love, and who's going to tear your heart out in the end. Don't run away from her though- in the end, you end up gaining a lot from the experience.

4) Get a PO Box and make contingency plans for being homeless.

5) Floss your damn teeth.

6) Don't worry about being a drop-out. You make it to college eventually, and not having gone to high school is a help, not a burden.

7) Your mom didn't choose your stepdad over you. She had to make a decision as to who could survive on their own, and she knew you were the stronger person. Get back in contact with her. Now.

8) Don't take the clove cigarette from Matt.

9) All that playing around on the Commodore 128 is going to help you when you are in college. Honest.

10) Cut the hair, get some contacts. It'll do wonders for you.

1) dont walk with ryan and zoe down the undergroud
2)find better freinds and dont be afraid of any one
3)dont be scared to be mature ,just cos your freinds arnt
4)find out about music, and its called punk, youl figure out the rest
5)ask lauran dighton out, shes flashed you her tits man ,and always rubbing your crotch she wos serouse dude, she did fancy you she told me
6)stop getting stoned and do you fecking GCSEs, youl not excatly regret it just nice to gloat about
7)be carefull of your mony
8)dont drink that bottle of pepsi in steven tinnsy for £20 its not worth it,
9)dont hang out wiht jon as much just use him to go to gigs espcially the five knuckle one, youl ahve a fight with him, and youl kickc his ass and evryone will clap cos he wos being a dick
10)dont get up on febuary the 7th 1996 if you do make sure ryan and zoe stay at your house

1) It's too late to change most of the really awful things that will happen in your life, but you knew that.

2) Keep partying. Seriously, in about 2 years you'll be really grateful you didn't miss out on anything.

3) See a dentist.

4) Apply for disability now. Disability pays retroactive from when you apply, so in about 12 months, when you need it, The Man willl owe you about 7 grand.

5) Pay those tickets. Seriously, do it now.

6) Take your meds. I'm not saying it's going to help avoid what's coming, but it will stop you from wondering about it in the future.

7) Take some of that money you've been throwing away on clubs, drugs and gas, and buy stock in: Activision, Sony, Microsoft, and IBM.

8) See those stocks above? Sell them by 2000.

9) Don't go to New Orleans. As fun as it could be, most of the worst moments in your life will be because of what happens there.

10) You might want to just move to Portland now. You'll end up here in 10 years anyway, and you'll be beating yourself up for not doing it sooner.

Let's see...I was nine. Let's speed it up a bit

1. Don't start working during the school year when you're 14. It'll mess up your grades. Work during the summer though, and put the money into a CD so you're mother won't get to it.
2. Don't go to ASC, you'll be miserable
3. Don't go to Mt. Holyoke
4. Apply to Weslyan U
5. Take a hint from number one. Don't let your mom talk you into getting a second credit card. And save up so you can get an apartment
6. Don't stop writing...no matter what. And get something that locks to keep your stuff in.
7. On the Europe Trip-don't take shit from anyone. They're not worth it. Oh yeah...stay in the Oceania exhibit in the Louvre longer.
8. Get a friend to teach you how to drive
9. Take the first credit card you're mom made you get...and use it to find any means possible to get to your cousin's hs graduation
10. Ask the girl with the spikey hair and suspenders to dance.



[Edited on May 04, 2005 by L_aerophile]

1. Make sure to visit home more often during college. And PLEASE don't come home with that god awful tattoo. Just wait.

2. Spend as much time as possible hanging out and talking to your mother because you only have 10 more years with her and it will FLY BY.

3. Stop doing everything half-assed...put a little more heart into the things you love.

4. Not everyone is against you.

5. Dump Nick when he goes away to bording school your junior year of high school.

6. Definately fuck that other Nick that you didn't because of Nick #1.

7. Go to Tisch, not Gallatin for your photography major, you really don't need anything but that.

8. Stay in touch with your 3 closest high school friends when you go to college.

9. Don't stay at your first job for 3 years.

10. A. When you see that guy in the Tunnel your freshman year of College, ignore him. He's a loser and will fuck you up good in the head for 2.5 years.

10. B. If you don't ignore him, you still make the right choice when you leave him for Adam, your future husband, yes, you are right the first time you see him, he will be your future husband. Excellent work! This last one almost makes up for all the other mistakes you made along the way.


[Edited on May 04, 2005 by doineanta]

Dude,

1) Get over yourself... being wrong is a liberty not an imposition. On this subject you will shortly meet a strange Irish guy taking a sabbatical from training to be a priest. He will insult you frequently... it is for your own good... suck it up princess. He is the most important friend you will ever have.

2) Where you are a girlfriend is more trouble than she's worth... Ferris Bueller is not lying when he says: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.

3) Don't worry about not being a party beast, it's not in your nature. Be less arrogant and you will find a social life that suits.

4) You're *so* not overweight. Nobody thinks you're fat but everyone thinks you're an uptight ignorant arrogant asshole... work on the latter.

5) Erm, you know you think you don't really get along with computers. You are wrong. Get some literature.

6) People tell you you overthink things. Accept this, you *are* overthinking things. Think about things as long as you bloody well need to.

7) Ever played the Stock market? Time to start: April 12th 1996 the company is called Yahoo! Buy AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

8) If you like a girl mention it casually, jokingly about 20 minutes into your first proper conversation. This is called flirting. It means that you don't end up feeling like you're playing games for a few weeks and then make some all important declaration which will scare her away.

9) You will get number 8 wrong about 9 times out of 10... don't let it bother you.

10) You don't find actresses attractive. You want a woman with an amazing intellect. Bear this in mind before you go to university.

Good luck bro, hope it works out for us,

Your Homedude, Me

Great thread... truly awesome. The novel may be coming soon.


[Edited on May 04, 2005 by fpkk]

1. boys make way better friends than girls

2. yours is a proud Sicilian heritage. don't worry about the superthick eyebrows, etc. someday somebody will find that attractive.

3. kissing people is not as big a deal as they've made it out to be. it's easier than you'd think. don't save up for it like it has to be something enormous and magical.

4. don't be such a fucking spaz.

5. don't build your life around other people, what they think about you, making them happy. care about yourself.

6. start saving for college.

7. no matter what you think now, neither Garth Brooks nor Coolio equals the epitome of glorious music. listen to your older brother. he knows the way.

8. breasts are nothing to be ashamed of. no part of your body is.

9. when it comes to religion, everything Mom and Dad say is wrong or at least deluded. think for yourself as soon as you possibly can.

10. if you guys ever have kids and one of them when he's eight years old accidentally sets fire to the living room rug... go easy on him.

Let's see...I was 20...

1. The next ten years are going to be hard, but you're gonna find what you're looking for.

2. Food is not the enemy. You are not fat.

3. When you quit smoking, stay quit. Even when you start drinking again.

4. Do NOT get involved with Billy. He is not who he says he is...he will destroy the next four (or more) years of your life.

5. Lighten up, it's only life.

6. People like you. Really.

7. You're relationship with mom is ending...it's a good thing. Just wait it out.

8. Do NOT buy things on credit...even if you have the money in savings right now, you aren't going to when you need it.

9. When he tells you that you'll be hired right out of grad school at $35k a year...he's lying. Plan for it.

10. Ten years from today, you're going to be happy. You're going to have already accomplished encredible and impossible things. You will be following a dream and inspiring others. You're going to be alright...I promise.

1) Ask for a drum set for christmas and practice everyday

2)enjoy high school don't freak out, someday it will all be a memory and you'll miss it so

3)Don't pour your heart and soul into that kid, He's gonna break your heart in two

4)Try to have a better relationship with your mother, You don't have much time to do so.

5)Don't cut your hair

6)Pay attention in Science class

7)Flirt like a mad woman

8)Dream big

9)Save yourself for your true love

10)Get a Job ASAP to get outta this place!

1. Don't move to Missouri.

2. Don't go to Arizona.

3. Don't ever bleach your hair.

4. Accept that you're a bastard. Those who count will love you for it.

5. Don't buy any part siamese cats. they barf a lot.

6. It does get easier.

7. But not too easy.

8. Make sure you look at what's in your hand before you swallow it.

9. Go to bed at a reasonable hour, stupid.

10. the obligatory lottery numbers.

bump

10 Years? Jesus I was 25. I would need to go back 20 years to really make major changes.



Okay, 25 year old self, listen up . . .

1 Every time you break up with someone, stay broken up. Never go back.

2 Every time your stock options mature, SELL at the very next trading window. The bubble bursts way before you get your chance to retire at 33 and buy an island. Don’t tell RR about the money, she’s in the wind before you know it anyway.

3 Turns out you love pets. Get a cat.

4 You might as well fuck the soccer-playing chick from work – LG dumps you as soon as she gets back in town, citing getting laid on holiday. Date LG anyway, ya’ll have some great times and at the very least she’s always honest with you.

5 Finish the entire manuscript before you leave Seattle. The index, the dedication, everything. Do 150K words, not just 90.

6 Regarding the above, shop it around before you settle on BB.

7 A terrible terrorist attack occurs on Sept 11, 2001. Two planes hit the World Trade Center, one hits the Pentagon, one goes after the White House but doesn’t make it. An asshole called Ussama Bin Laden is behind it. A big crew of terrorists hijack the airplanes with box cutters and crash them intentionally. Call the CIA, the FBI, and the NYPD and make a pest out of yourself about it until someone pays attention.

8 Turns out its all about writing after all. Practice every day. Keep it up, don’t get discouraged or sidetracked. Especially sidetracked, you easily sidetracked motherfucker.

9 You will meet the love of your life, be patient.

10 Record everything! Take more pictures, keep your journal up better, write down dates and names, write a family history. Interview friends and family just to have what they say on paper. Later on no one will believe that it all happened to you.


I promise this will all make sense in context.

Peace and be well,

Your 35 year-old self

1. Get out and socialise more. Don't wait until you're 16 to have a social life. Being a loner stoner is NOT cool.
2. Keep at your reading, do not abandon it the second you get a life.
3. Get a job at 15 and keep it. Save your money for dental surgery.
4. Study harder at school, you could have taken 20 GCSE's and got A's had you applied yourself
5. One night of revision is NOT a substitute for proper study
6. Mum is cheating on dad, make sure he knows this
7. Take more time to get bond with barnie, he may be a drug abuser but he's actually a great guy and a brilliant brother
8. Coke is not fun, nor does it make you cool. Stay the fuck away.
9. Take a more active interest in the family business empire from a young age, it's your future.
10. MSN is the DEVIL. Don't waste your time on it!