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10/8/03
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Asha

Asha

SUICIDEGIRL

United Kingdom

OCT 06, 2003 06:56 PM

read http://bash.org/?111338

copied and pasted for you're reading ease:

#111338 +(2960)- [X]

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

Keith

Keith

Oklahoma City, OK
August 2002

OCT 06, 2003 07:06 PM

Quick! Somebody find Robin!

mister_x

mister_x

Plano, TX
January 2003

OCT 06, 2003 09:22 PM

o jeez. this is almost as bad as hentai fanfic. exept not.

Asha

Asha

SUICIDEGIRL

United Kingdom

OCT 06, 2003 09:31 PM

i get sent the weirdest links eeek

desidia

desidia

Reunion
September 2002

OCT 06, 2003 09:56 PM

I'll take some of that magic wang anyday, as long as I get some Hermoine with it biggrin

richiedagger

richiedagger

I'm lost
July 2003

OCT 06, 2003 11:06 PM

Keith said:
Quick! Somebody find Robin!



hahahaah thats the first thing i thought of when i saw the title of the thread. i thought she would be here already.

desidia

desidia

Reunion
September 2002

OCT 06, 2003 11:08 PM

oh yeah, I hear your supposed to add "in bed" to the end of every fortune cookie. so far, hilarious results ensue

Nescafe

Nescafe

Winter Park, FL
June 2003

OCT 06, 2003 11:28 PM

Oh dear.

Dune.
The Lord of the Rings...

and now Harry Pooter (and the chamber of secretions!!).

Every good book ever written was just a one long sex joke.

inhaler97

inhaler97

Philadelphia, PA
February 2003

OCT 06, 2003 11:30 PM

hehe Harry pooter and the sorcerers bone.

nikki_darling

nikki_darling

Darling, MS
January 2003

OCT 07, 2003 11:27 AM

surreal biggrin shocked

sakita

sakita

Sweden
February 2003

OCT 07, 2003 11:40 AM

hehe that is funny stuff

pr0ject605

pr0ject605

Pittsburgh, PA
February 2003

OCT 07, 2003 12:45 PM


that's awesome! Tho I'm still waiting to hear that THIS happened

PaulNikon

PaulNikon

Palm Bay, FL
February 2003

OCT 07, 2003 02:00 PM

FUNNY!

Anger

Anger

Columbia, MO
February 2003

OCT 07, 2003 03:05 PM

Some fool named JonJonB said:
He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.



That, ladies and gentlemen, is comedy gold. Bukowski himself could do no better.



[Edited on Oct 07, 2003 by Anger]

schoolgirl

schoolgirl

Christmas Island
May 2003

OCT 07, 2003 06:20 PM

funny but creepy, they are little kids. i don't wanna think about that story.

Robin

Robin

SUICIDEGIRL

Ohio, USA

OCT 07, 2003 06:53 PM

Keith said:
Quick! Somebody find Robin!



ahaHAhaHAaAHAH!!!!
have no fear, i am here, and i just came all over my chair!