Nominations for the crappiest way to break up

see right there 2 pages of reasons not to have relationships just fuckbuddies

but that can lead to some major mindfucking as well

You know how people
have these little habits
That get you down. Like Bernie.
Bernie like to chew gum.
No, not chew. POP.
Well, I came home this one day
And I am really irritated, and
looking for a little sympathy
and there's Bernie layin'
on the couch, drinkin' a beer
and chewin'. No, not chewin'.
Poppin'. So, I said to him,
I said, "Bernie, you pop that
gum one more time..."
and he did.
So I took the shotgun off the wall
and I fired two warning shots...
...into his head.
(thats a crappy way to break-up!)


5 more ways to break-up are in my journal (they all end in death and they're all funny as hell.
TAKEN FROM THE CHICAGO SOUNDTRACK

this might not be the crappiest way to break up, but it was the crappiest breakup I ever had....

We had gone out to a bar with some newish friends Friday night. Saturday I came down with a 24-hour cold/fever thing.Sunday night he came over with some clothes I had left at his house. As he was leaving, he said, out of the blue, "Oh, by the way. I don't think I can date you anymore."
Naturally, I instantly became upset, confused, and depressed. 15 minutes later, he decided that what I needed was a good fuck. We fell asleep afterwards (or I did, anyway). I woke up an hour later, and he was gone.
The next week I learned that he had been sleeping with one of the women we had been with the bar at Friday night for a couple of weeks. And that he went over to her place the night he broke up with me and they proceeded to fuck like bunnies the whole night.

And then 2 years later he said that his problem with me had been that I wasn't cute enough. But that I was cute now and we should get back together.

Mmmm. Assholes.

At some point, no matter what, someone in the fuckbuddy relationship will feel there is more. And they are right. At what point does someone become more than a lover? Does it have to be a spoken bond? Should legal papers be signed? Really, at what point is someone your boyfriend/girlfriend? With Jackie, awhile back she said she wasn't "feeling it", and that she wanted to be friends. I told her no thanks. If her idea of us being friends was I was there for her and she had no real responsibility to me, than I didn't want that. If I was going to take her out for diner and movies and not get laid, and I don't mean that in a base way-I mean I need intimacy with someone I care about, then no thanks. Well at that point she started doubling how much she wanted to hang out. Kinda weird for someone who "just wants to be friends", more like someone who is afraid they fucked up and might lose someone they care about or need. So thing went fine for a couple of months, then she excitedly made plans with me on a Tuesday, never called never showed. I called her and got attitude about wondering why she had suddenly broken plans. Fine, I gave her a few days, no call. Finally I called her, again a snotty attitude, and she explained I was just being weird-that nothing was up and she was just busy. Again no more phone calls. So I leave a message on her cell phone saying that if nothing was wrong just call my land line, and that if something was wrong call my cell phone and I wouldnt pick up and she could just leave me a message, so she wouldn't have to be scared to get in a long blown out break up-just a quick message. So in the end I recieved a snotty voice mail explaining to me that nothing "was up" as I had asked, and she had explicitedly explained we were just friends. That is fair, but I explained I didn't want just a friend, and she continued to do all the girlfriend things she had done before. Besides what kind of friend just stops calling, and is annoyed by a weekly phone call, especially when she had called EVERY day at least twice up until then????

aw, thanks morgan I'd give you his address but fortunately I don't know it.

Lev - the only thing you can probably do at this point is let go of her. Sometimes "friends" means not even friends. Especially if people aren't acting like they care about you anymore. (Though admittedly I have no personal knowledge of your situation.) But I'd move on, hard as it is.

ariel-good advice. The funny thing is I think my ego being bruised and the sheer cheek of being that rude and the principal of course, is whats important to me. I did like her, but I'm really not girl crazy, so I know I'll get over it. Although she did have incredibly soft skin, and we were sexually compatiable. But she smoked weed and ate valiums like they were going out of style, and thats just not my thing.

[Edited on Oct 03, 2003 by levezletoi]

i'm sure people have already ,mentioned this method, but anyways.... the one where they say "yeh, i'll see you tomorrow", then its next week, then the week after....and still nothing!

She moved with out telling me and I got the hint.

i went off to fucking boot camp and was there for 6 weeks. my girlfriend at the time saw me off and wrote letter after letter. when we were able to make phone calls she didnt seem excited when she finally heard from me. i called my best friend after her converstaion and he told that she was sleeping around with some of my "friends". what he and some freinds of mine did to get her back for me is hilarious and i recommend it. at a party they were at with her they filled a beer full of piss, chilled and waited until she was thirsty. she drank all of it when she was finished they asked her how i was and after her responce they asked her how that piss tastes. after that they told her to get fucking lost. what a slut. i didnt even have to do any dirty work.

Would a singing telegram count???

sounds like you got duped . . . big time.

see that only happens if you let it and dont have a total aggrement that it is stricktly sex, the only time i have ever had any problems is when they wanted more then sex and didnt understand i wasnt good for anything else, as i dont have that much of a grasp on all all that touchy feely emotion crap

I had a girlfriend who dumped me because she was about to start her nursing career!......."I think I'll just play with you for a bit" She also bought me a $200 knife which is the best one I have..........

She found Jesus.