My Future Bar

THE EXPLOSIVE PENGUIN

My future Neo-Pub later to maybe be Neo-Tavern. Currently I am scheduled to go to bartending school in June and I am reading about it now. I am going to go get some practical exprience and plan everything out then go for it. It will be in the Seven City Area, VA at the moment. Its a place of tolerance for everyone, goth, mod, punk, rave, gay, lesbian, tranny, wiccan, christian, jew whatever to come, have a good time. I plan to serve equal in my drinks instead of sugar and also offer coffee, tea and other non alchole drinks for costumers. I plan to have a breath alyazer also so I know when to cut them off; and get them a taxi. Hopefully one of the sub goals is to get the SG live tour to roll through. When the place is open, SG get in free. Any ideas and or suggestions would be appricated.

Someday I will own my own bar. It'll be a traditional Irish Pub called "Fighting Billy Tracy's". Firemen drink free...cops pay double...and tourists aren't fucking welcome. We'll have two things on the menu...Guinness...and Powers. If you don't like it...you can fuck off to Applebee's because this is my fucking bar.

What about ladies with nice tits?

Clearly, they drink for free. I thought that was understood.

You obviously haven't spent much time in the theatre. Costumers will drink you under the table. Though no one can out-drink the FOH mixer. Because we usually show up drunk anyways.

Equal?

What the?

With a name like "The Explosive Penguin", I'd stay away from the bathrooms.

I like the idea of a Breathalyzer test because on my first couple of drinks I am usually in control but sometimes after that I lose count of how many equal-sweetened non-alcoholic drinks I've had.

What about fellas with nice tits?

Srsly. Same for Splenda and anything that isn't brown sugar.

Well-fucken said.

None of that special reserve shit. Plain ol' working man's Powers in my bar.

Honestly the image wasn't intentional. It was just the first image I got.

I don't know. Lighting board ops are pretty hardcore in their own right. Pushing a button doesn't require a lot of coherence.

I'm just gonna buy this place.

Fixed.

My dream bar already exists, it just opened up here in Portland...

I've already contacted the owners to direct deposit my paychecks into their account.

None of that Protestant swill in MY bar!

I am not going to serve only non-alcoholic drinks, there just going to be on the menu.

This thread has mutated from its original purpose.

They usually do.

Now I'm going to use it to knock a horrible thread off the top of the list!

They're on the menu, too?

They are the classiest shot glasses available.

Wait, you're thinking that Christians,Goths, Trannies, Lesbians can all be in the same place together

A breathalyzer is good for people who drive I suppose...

I think you should also include Skinheads and Islamics maybe a few followers of Malcolm X can show up as well.