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2/7/08

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Hotmail Help Please!

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NEWS: Not the Brightest Bulbs in the Box [3]

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Fuck Cloverfield, did you catch the Star Trek trailer?! [2]

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NEWS: Not the Brightest Bulbs in the Box

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crispy

NEWSWIRE

Philadelphia, PA

JAN 25, 2008 11:22 PM

CULTURE: Not the Brightest Bulbs in the Box

Everyone loves sex, and everyone loves electricity ... so, why not combine the two? Two great tastes that taste great together, right?

Maybe not.

Kirsten Taylor, 29, was found unconscious Wednesday night at the couple's Lower Windsor Township home. She was taken to York Hospital, where she was pronounced dead.

I'm sure they were playing safely, so what could have possibly gone wrong?

Toby Taylor, 37, first claimed that his wife Kirsten was shocked by her hair dryer. But he then admitted that the couple was "into weird sexual behaviors," according to a probable cause affidavit. Taylor then explained that he hooks clips to his wife's nipples and "plugs the cord into a electric strip" and shocks her. On Wednesday evening, Taylor said, Kirsten removed her clothes, attached the clips, and shocked herself. He then picked up the electric strip and shocked her several more times, adding that he had placed a piece of electric tape over her mouth during the jolts. After the last shock, Kirsten, 29, "fell over on to her face."

Ohm my God!!

Taylor told investigators that the couple had "been engaging in electric shock sex and other types of extreme bondage for about 2 years."

Well, everybody needs an outlet.

But use a safe word, people. SAFE WORD!!
Oh, wait ... she had electrical tape over her mouth.

Nevermind.

York County Coroner Barry Bloss called it a case of "bizarre sex."

"I have never seen anything like this," Bloss said. "Even if you did it before, you have to know you could kill someone."

Shocking, isn't it?
Positively revolting, even.

Mr. Taylor has been charged with involuntary manslaughter and reckless endangerment.

Mrs. Taylor was charged with electrified nipple clips.

crispy deeply regrets making light of the situation.

gerry_villa

I'm lost

February 2006

JAN 26, 2008 09:27 AM

The guy looks so mortified. What a way to go ... for both of them.

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA

December 2003

JAN 26, 2008 09:47 AM

crispy said:
Ohm my God!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh!

_margot_

Los Angeles, CA

December 2007

JAN 26, 2008 09:50 AM

Mrs. Taylor was charged with electrified nipple clips.

*giggle*

Very punny.

Darke

Columbia, MO

June 2005

JAN 26, 2008 10:12 AM

THIS is what happens!!! Lower violet wand prices now!

unfiltrator

San Francisco, CA

April 2004

JAN 26, 2008 11:20 AM

Electric tape is carcinogenic, so it can kill you.

ThatTalentedHack

San Antonio, TX

July 2007

JAN 26, 2008 11:24 AM

time to change the batteries on that mans fleshlight TM

NoPantsDave

Cincinnati, OH

OLD SKOOL

JAN 26, 2008 11:34 AM

If you electrocute something for too long, it will become crispy.

Cairo

SUICIDEGIRL

Maryland, USA

JAN 26, 2008 11:37 AM

Darke said:
THIS is what happens!!! Lower violet wand prices now!

+1

And folks need to be educated before they get into this shit all willy-nilly.

wildswan

I'm lost

June 2006

JAN 26, 2008 11:40 AM

Jail, dumb-ass.

wildswan

I'm lost

June 2006

JAN 26, 2008 11:45 AM

Mr. Taylor has been charged with involuntary manslaughter and reckless endangerment.

If I were a prosecutor, I'd charge it higher.

Benzino

Winnipeg, MB

November 2006

JAN 26, 2008 12:13 PM

Isn't sex great enough that you don't have to do crazy shit like this?

ohash

Columbus, OH

May 2007

JAN 26, 2008 01:29 PM

Don't they already make nipple clamps that shock? Or atleast vibrate? Somebody has to...

crispy

NEWSWIRE

Philadelphia, PA

JAN 26, 2008 03:44 PM

NoPantsDave said:
If you electrocute something for too long, it will become crispy.

I think you've stumbled upon the one lame pun that I didn't think to include in the article.

Damn you, Dave!!

Fatality

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

JAN 26, 2008 04:10 PM

so many great puns

SnakePlissken

Corvallis, OR

December 2002

JAN 26, 2008 04:16 PM

I wonder if this publicity will lead to a surge in these crimes.

Necia

San Francisco, CA

August 2005

JAN 26, 2008 05:49 PM

I have to feel vaguely bad for the guy. He was trying to be sexy, failed, killed his wife, and now he's going to jail.

That's kinda sad, all around, you know?

Necia

San Francisco, CA

August 2005

JAN 26, 2008 05:50 PM

Rasputin_ said:
I wonder if this publicity will lead to a surge in these crimes.

Oh, man.

OH, MAN.

HORRIBLE.

Stiles

Oakland, CA

November 2002

JAN 26, 2008 06:22 PM

Rasputin_ said:
I wonder if this publicity will lead to a surge in these crimes.

You never know what will flip someone's switch and turn them on.

Crispy, why wasn't this posted in Current Events?

Stiles

Oakland, CA

November 2002

JAN 26, 2008 06:24 PM

PS - this story has sizzle.

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH

February 2007

JAN 26, 2008 06:28 PM

what a shocking story!

PointBlank

New York, NY

November 2004

JAN 26, 2008 06:32 PM

Mr. Taylor has been charged with involuntary manslaughter and reckless endangerment.

If I were a prosecutor, I'd charge it higher.

I'd give him the electric chair.

Stiles

Oakland, CA

November 2002

JAN 26, 2008 06:33 PM

Do you think they were listening to AC/DC?

crispy

NEWSWIRE

Philadelphia, PA

JAN 26, 2008 06:45 PM

Stiles said:
Crispy, why wasn't this posted in Current Events?

I don't have the right contacts ... you know, since they switched up the wire.

Stiles said:
Do you think they were listening to AC/DC?

Yeah, probably 'High Voltage' ... you know, to get them all amped up.

I'm thinking the circuit judge should have also charged him with battery.

The guy's probably sitting in his D cell hoping the jury will cut him a breaker.
His defense? He was confused.

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

JAN 26, 2008 07:21 PM

wildswan said:
Jail, dumb-ass.

Mr. Taylor has been charged with involuntary manslaughter and reckless endangerment.

If I were a prosecutor, I'd charge it higher.

My, aren't we compassionate.

-TM

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