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9/24/03

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Andrew02

Andrew02

Huntington Beach, CA
May 2003

SEP 24, 2003 12:52 AM

The phone.

I had some Mormons calling all the time and couldn't get rid of them. My friend was over one night and picked up the phone and said " Family Planning...You make em We scrape em... No fetus can beat us "

That was the last call I got from them.

How do you deal with unsolicited calls ?

Keith

Keith

Oklahoma City, OK
August 2002

SEP 24, 2003 12:54 AM

I never answer the phone without checking the Caller ID. Ever.

richiedagger

richiedagger

I'm lost
July 2003

SEP 24, 2003 12:59 AM

"Heaven...this is God speaking"

Al

Al

SUICIDEGIRL

Christmas Island

SEP 24, 2003 01:01 AM

"Center of the universe, how may I direct your call?"

richiedagger

richiedagger

I'm lost
July 2003

SEP 24, 2003 01:03 AM

the best was when my friend worked at dominos tho. he had several ways of answering the phone.

"Dominos...its not our pizza"
"Dominos...proud sponsor of the five second rule"
"Dominos...if it makes it through our oven it deserves to kill you"

he also spit in and dropped pizzas on the ground regularly. one time they threw up on one and then scraped it off the dough and put the sauce on. haha.

Keith

Keith

Oklahoma City, OK
August 2002

SEP 24, 2003 01:03 AM

But when my friends call, I like to say things like:
"Bueno." (which, for some reason, is really how Mexicans answer the phone informally)
"Pizza Hut."
"1900-HOT-COCK"

etc

Keith

Keith

Oklahoma City, OK
August 2002

SEP 24, 2003 01:04 AM

richiedagger said:
he also spit in and dropped pizzas on the ground regularly. one time they threw up on one and then scraped it off the dough and put the sauce on. haha.



AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP POSTING THINGS LIKE THIS?!! WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW!! GOD DAMNIT!! puke puke puke puke puke

DrNecessitor

DrNecessitor

San Jose, CA
January 2003

SEP 24, 2003 01:05 AM

"THIS'D BETTER BE GOOD BECAUSE I WAS WATCHING TV!!" mad

Estrada

Estrada

University Place, WA
OLD SKOOL

SEP 24, 2003 01:07 AM

Keith said:
"Bueno." (which, for some reason, is really how Mexicans answer the phone informally)



Sometimes we just say beun, because that o is too much work.

I answer the phone mostly like this:

Big Top Video.
Directory Assitance, how may I direct your call?

clara

clara

MODERATOR

Baltimore, MD

SEP 24, 2003 01:07 AM

I used to be a receptionist. In my head I always answered, "[company name here], what the fuck do you want?" I don't know how I never said it aloud.

pr0ject605

pr0ject605

Tokelau
February 2003

SEP 24, 2003 01:09 AM

I usually go with "Hello" or "Hey there" if I know who it is... if I'm feeling particularly festive I'll say something like "Hi."

Actually, my two favorites are "What up, shit bitch?" and "Wet Jimmy's gourmet Ass Meats, do this be pick up or delivery?"

[Edited on Sep 24, 2003 by pr0ject605]

stockula

stockula

Anchorage, AK
May 2003

SEP 24, 2003 01:31 AM

"Ahoy-hoy"

My number used to be one digit different from the local electric utility. Oh, you could jerk those people around so bad because they had no idea they had the wrong number. Especially when there was a blackout! The calls wouldn't stop, asking when the power would come back on. So I'd answer the phone saying "Municipal Light and Power, how may I help you?" If the caller sounded black, we'd tell him that we were stopping service to all non-white customers. The sputtering outrage was priceless. They'd demand to talk to my manager, and I'd hand the phone over to my brother who would pose as my "manager", and would explain the new whites-only electricity service.

Not a racist or anything, but this would send people over the edge. Lotsa laffs.


[Edited on Sep 24, 2003 by stockula]

mothra

mothra

Tempe, AZ
OLD SKOOL

SEP 24, 2003 01:37 AM

It has become either "Yup" or "Yellow" mostly because it takes less effort than hello, then I hang up as soon as I realize I don't have anything to say.

[Edited on Sep 24, 2003 by mothra]

hornitos

hornitos

I'm lost
August 2003

SEP 24, 2003 01:39 AM

i just say "you rang? like lurch. . but i doubt ver many of you remember that.

killed_by_Jesus

killed_by_Jesus

Portales, NM
April 2003

SEP 24, 2003 01:51 AM

*I 'member lurch*

I like to answer "Two Kings" (Tenacious D) Its great, people don't know how to respond. Most are like "uhh...is [insert roomate name here] there? Very funny. When one of my good buds, Brandon B., calls he always cracks up. Its keen.

canis_exhumite

canis_exhumite

Los Angeles, CA
September 2002

SEP 24, 2003 02:06 AM

"Nakamakpisai!"

Aint no one remembers that AT&T commercial.

I always want to torment telemarketers, but i just end up letting the phone drift away from my head and then i hang up. If any of ya'll are telemarketers, just know, its nothing personal.

HonkeyKong

HonkeyKong

Bridgeport, CT
March 2003

SEP 24, 2003 02:10 AM

'yankee stadium, second base."

isetfires

isetfires

Minneapolis, MN
May 2003

SEP 24, 2003 02:23 AM

i just start screaming at them in german.

ElleBelle

ElleBelle

Portland, OR
August 2003

SEP 24, 2003 03:37 AM

If caller ID says its one of my friends I answer by saying.....

Hey Ho! dont know why?????? surreal

My aunt use to answer by saying Marvins Mortuary- you stab em we slab em. shocked

fiendish

fiendish

Brick, NJ
December 2002

SEP 24, 2003 06:19 AM

i have a answer machine i screen 95% of all my calls ooo aaa

FreakPirate

FreakPirate

Calgary, AB
November 2002

SEP 24, 2003 06:29 AM

My roommate and I like to mess with people one the phone.

"Hugo's House of Pain"
"Paco's Fun House"
"Pedro's Hookers and Waffles"
"Hello, if you're calling about the monkey, don't worry, the problem has been taken care of"

My mom was the one who called the first time "Hugo's House of Pain" was used. My roommate's sister hung up three times when we answered one day because she thought she had the wrong number.

TheHaunted

TheHaunted

Virginia Beach, VA
September 2003

SEP 24, 2003 06:30 AM

My last name is White so we always answer with something along those lines. "White house blah blah blah blah blah" Sometimes we throw in something current event style, the weak thing is dumb ass people actually think they managed to call the real fucking white house and appologize and shit. Fucking re-re's whatever

UnnecessaryZ

UnnecessaryZ

Astoria, NY
July 2003

SEP 24, 2003 06:54 AM

"Before I say anything else, I'm legally required to tell you that I have found Jesus. Have you?"

lostboy

lostboy

Carlisle, PA
November 2002

SEP 24, 2003 07:44 AM

Morts mortuary and grill you killem, we grillem how may I take your order please . To this day only friends and family haven't hung up when I said that. smile

a548456

a548456

United Kingdom
OLD SKOOL

SEP 24, 2003 08:32 AM

If it's my cell phone and I know the caller, then normally "Hiya." If it's an unknown number or landline (no ID) then "heh-low...?"
Spike

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