Desperate times call for desperate measures. And, apparently, really desperate times call for really desperate measures. Especially if you are a certain mid-20's man in Hayden, Idaho.

Really desperate times: the man believed that he bore the sign of Satan.

Really desperate measures: he cut off his own hand using a circular saw and proceeded to cook the emancipated body part in the microwave.

Okay�wait�what?!

Yes, the man seems to have been reading too much of the ol' Bible.

The Book of Revelation in the New Testament contains a passage in which an angel is quoted as saying: ''If anyone worships the beast and his image and receives his mark on the forehead or on the hand, he, too, will drink the wine of God's fury.''

The book of Matthew also contains the passage: ''And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for you whole body to do into hell.''

Though authorities at the Kootenai County Department commented on the sadness of the mental illness exhibited by his acts, it is not known whether the man has a history of MI. At this point, we also don't know which hand did the giving and which did the receiving, nor do we know whether the passive hand was later reattached.

We do know, however, that the man had a little bit of sanity or foresight or grounding or whatever you want to call it, as he went to work. For one, he called 911. Furthermore, he put a tourniquet onto his arm to save himself from bleeding to death.

At least he took safety precautions, right, people?! And kudos on the post-modification electromagnetic wave-induced modification. Idaho man for body mod of the year?

Fatality's hand was also in a microwave once. When her brother tried to cram her baby form into one many years ago�

VivaHST

Milwaukee, WI

July 2005

JAN 10, 2008 01:10 AM

All was going well until zombie Seth Green opened up the microwave...

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH

February 2007

JAN 10, 2008 01:19 AM

you ever been to Hayden Idaho? I'd be so bored i would probably do it too.

Syntropia

Oakland, CA

February 2004

JAN 10, 2008 02:16 AM

There's nothing quite as hot as the 'right'? hand of God!

BrittyBee

Henderson, NV

December 2007

JAN 10, 2008 08:28 AM

a circular saw?
guess the bagle cutter didnt work for him either...

SockPuppet

I'm lost

July 2006

JAN 10, 2008 08:50 AM

Fatality said:

Really desperate measures: he cut off his own hand using a circular saw and proceeded to cook the emancipated body part in the microwave.

<snip>

At this point, we also don't know which hand did the giving and which did the receiving, nor do we know whether the passive hand was later reattached.

If it was microwaved, it would be cooked, and not reattachable.

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

JAN 10, 2008 10:37 AM

You beat me to it, Fatality.

Sounds like our man may have opened the Necronomicon.

-TM

Zarth

Seattle, WA

December 2004

JAN 10, 2008 10:52 AM

thefreak said:
You beat me to it, Fatality.

Sounds like our man may have opened the Necronomicon.

-TM

Good point.

ohash

Columbus, OH

May 2007

JAN 10, 2008 10:53 AM

Wow. Don't people know you're not supposed to take that Bible thing literally? We'd have millions of handless people running around if that was the case.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Tallboy66

USA

January 2005

JAN 10, 2008 11:00 AM

WOW!

So he thought he had the mark or something, or did it show up in some cooked food?

stop_the_future

Moscow, ID

August 2006

JAN 10, 2008 12:18 PM

This makes me proud to live in Idaho

Mark_plus_Beer

United Kingdom

August 2005

JAN 10, 2008 12:31 PM

what sauce would you use on your own hand ?

cautionflammible

Fort Wayne, IN

September 2006

JAN 10, 2008 12:45 PM

Id say hes an extremist and needs to go in to a mental hospital pretty white jacket and all

crispy

NEWSWIRE

Philadelphia, PA

JAN 10, 2008 01:06 PM

Mark_plus_Beer said:
what sauce would you use on your own hand ?

Easy ... Hamburger Helper.

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

JAN 10, 2008 03:10 PM

Finger-lickin' good!

-TM

formerviking

Denver, PA

May 2006

JAN 10, 2008 03:40 PM

crispy said:

Mark_plus_Beer said:
what sauce would you use on your own hand ?

Easy ... Hamburger Helper.

Or handburger helper , maybe

sitar

Philadelphia, PA

June 2004

JAN 10, 2008 08:38 PM

i saw this episode of grey's anatomy.

art imitates life imitates art

Scopitone

Irvine, CA

OLD SKOOL

JAN 10, 2008 10:58 PM

Poor ignorant bastard. Everyone knows you're supposed to flambe demon possessed appendages.

27Across

Burke, VA

January 2008

JAN 11, 2008 04:37 PM

reinforcing the school of thought that the bible is not meant to be taken literally.

of course, jesus freaks out there will still point to the passage that says "man shall not lay with another man" to support their homophobic beliefs. i guess that makes them as crazy as this guy?

27Across

Burke, VA

January 2008

JAN 11, 2008 04:40 PM

VivaHST said:
All was going well until zombie Seth Green opened up the microwave...

ahahahahahaaahahaha.

what the story didn't mention was that moments later vivica a. fox showed up and stabbed the severed hand with an ancient knife.

AceT

Portland, OR

April 2004

JAN 11, 2008 04:54 PM

I think the dude was just hoping Jessica Alba would show up.

27Across

Burke, VA

January 2008

JAN 11, 2008 04:59 PM

AceT said:
I think the dude was just hoping Jessica Alba would show up.

can't blame him for that.

PerilousPup

I'm lost

May 2007

JAN 11, 2008 09:21 PM

How is it that evil always finds its way into the oven??

Capital

Providence, RI

February 2005

JAN 11, 2008 11:28 PM

"hands on the bible" comes to mind...

Fatality

SUICIDEGIRL

Florida, USA

JAN 15, 2008 10:26 PM

Capital said:
"hands on the bible" comes to mind...

scared like a child => scarred like a child

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SUICIDEGIRL

Florida, USA

JAN 10, 2008 12:17 AM

Milwaukee, WI

July 2005

JAN 10, 2008 01:10 AM

Cleveland, OH

February 2007

JAN 10, 2008 01:19 AM

Oakland, CA

February 2004

JAN 10, 2008 02:16 AM

Henderson, NV

December 2007

JAN 10, 2008 08:28 AM

I'm lost

July 2006

JAN 10, 2008 08:50 AM

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

JAN 10, 2008 10:37 AM

Zarth

Seattle, WA

December 2004

JAN 10, 2008 10:52 AM

Columbus, OH

May 2007

JAN 10, 2008 10:53 AM

USA

January 2005

JAN 10, 2008 11:00 AM

Moscow, ID

August 2006

JAN 10, 2008 12:18 PM

United Kingdom

August 2005

JAN 10, 2008 12:31 PM

Fort Wayne, IN

September 2006

JAN 10, 2008 12:45 PM

NEWSWIRE

Philadelphia, PA

JAN 10, 2008 01:06 PM

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

JAN 10, 2008 03:10 PM

Denver, PA

May 2006

JAN 10, 2008 03:40 PM

Philadelphia, PA

June 2004

JAN 10, 2008 08:38 PM

Irvine, CA

OLD SKOOL

JAN 10, 2008 10:58 PM

Burke, VA

January 2008

JAN 11, 2008 04:37 PM

Burke, VA

January 2008

JAN 11, 2008 04:40 PM

Portland, OR

April 2004

JAN 11, 2008 04:54 PM

Burke, VA

January 2008

JAN 11, 2008 04:59 PM

I'm lost

May 2007

JAN 11, 2008 09:21 PM

Providence, RI

February 2005

JAN 11, 2008 11:28 PM

SUICIDEGIRL

Florida, USA

JAN 15, 2008 10:26 PM