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9/19/03

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superficial

superficial

I'm lost
OLD SKOOL

SEP 18, 2003 10:17 AM

the past two years of my life have faded in a blur of depression... (there were some good times in those two years, but the overall trend was hopelessness) how do you break out?

now, don't be worried about me, i'm not suicidal... i am just blue... and need somewhere to vent.

go ahead and tell me to get a life...

26OO

26OO

Waterloo, ON
August 2002

SEP 18, 2003 10:19 AM

When did you last ovulate?

rita_yo

rita_yo

I'm lost
September 2003

SEP 18, 2003 10:31 AM

poor thing

masturbate, that helps a lot

BabyBlue

BabyBlue

Portland, OR
August 2003

SEP 18, 2003 10:38 AM

Have you pinpointed what is making you depressed? Is it one particular thing? If not, have you considered meds of some sort? I'm not one to go the pill route immediately, but with something like depression, sometimes a change in chemistry is all that is needed.

_Sarah_

_Sarah_

Kalamazoo, MI
January 2003

SEP 18, 2003 10:39 AM

If this has been going on almost daily for two consecutive years, you may want to see a psychiatrist/psychologist. It could be chemical (brain chemicals, not drugs). You can contact your county's mental health facility, and they can put you on a sliding scale based on income.

Until then, try to adjust your daily pattern. If you get up and mostly sit around, force yourself to go for a drive or rent movies or something. Try to get out of the house (sitting at home is what makes mine worse).

If it's directly related to several problems, get a jump-start on fixing them. Even tiny steps will help you pull out of this.

I'm speaking from experience, so hopefully that didn't sound cheesy.

[Edited on Sep 18, 2003 by Sorcha]

richiedagger

richiedagger

I'm lost
July 2003

SEP 18, 2003 10:43 AM

Sorcha said:
If this has been going on almost daily for two consecutive years, you may want to see a psychiatrist/psychologist. It could be chemical (brain chemicals, not drugs). You can contact your county's mental health facility, and they can put you on a sliding scale based on income.

Until then, try to adjust your daily pattern. If you get up and mostly sit around, force yourself to go for a drive or rent movies or something. Try to get out of the house (sitting at home is what makes mine worse).

If it's directly related to several problems, get a jump-start on fixing them. Even tiny steps will help you pull out of this.

I'm speaking from experience, so hopefully that didn't sound cheesy.

[Edited on Sep 18, 2003 by Sorcha]



awesome advice...

sometimes i just feel like im stuck in a rut and i do exactly that to get out of it, just try to change things up a little and tackle my problems little by little.

and if that doesnt work then by al means go see a psychiatrist...helped me when i was little.

rita_yo

rita_yo

I'm lost
September 2003

SEP 18, 2003 10:45 AM

serioulsy...sitting in front of the internet is the worst you can do

dilligan

dilligan

Beverly Hills, CA
December 2002

SEP 18, 2003 10:46 AM

I think you should sit in front of the internet.

a_mused

a_mused

Frisco, TX
August 2003

SEP 18, 2003 11:01 AM

yeah, sitting in front of the computer talking about it is better than not talkin about it at all.

superficial

superficial

I'm lost
OLD SKOOL

SEP 18, 2003 11:02 AM

thank you for all the advice so far...

i don't know exactly what is making me depressed, i'm just noticing all the effects it's having on my life... lack of interest in things that i once loved, pushing people away, sleeplessness, panic attacks when i have to talk to people i don't know...

i've tried going out and doing things but every thing reminds me of her... for the past 4 years i had a mostly wonderful girlfriend, that i pushed away by not breaking out of my rut...

runholden

runholden

I'm lost
August 2003

SEP 18, 2003 11:29 AM

superficial said:
thank you for all the advice so far...

i don't know exactly what is making me depressed, i'm just noticing all the effects it's having on my life... lack of interest in things that i once loved, pushing people away, sleeplessness, panic attacks when i have to talk to people i don't know...

i've tried going out and doing things but every thing reminds me of her...

I could have posted this excat same thing. I don't do any of the things that really enjoy anymore...

ReverendBenzo

ReverendBenzo

Savannah, GA
September 2003

SEP 18, 2003 11:51 AM

I've been up to my eyeballs in depression lately and for dumb reasons; that's what pisses me off. God it's exausting too. It's like an elephant sitting on your chest. I can't really agree on the masturbation thing being helpful. Exercise, I've read, is supposed to be the best thing in the world. That and proper diet. I've had cronic depression for 16 years so it's not like this is anything new.

handle

handle

I'm lost
July 2003

SEP 18, 2003 12:48 PM

For me I think the only way I'll get out of it, is the exceptance of reality, or if something amazing and fantastic miraculously changes the coarse of my life. Thank you American media.

nobodaddy

nobodaddy

Burlington, VT
August 2003

SEP 18, 2003 12:53 PM

Heavy-duty cardio workout will help a lot.

Also, watch a few Marx Brothers films.

mydogfarted

mydogfarted

Oakland, NJ
June 2003

SEP 18, 2003 01:00 PM

First off, "she" sucks if she can't see that something is wrong with you.

Hopefully you can find what is the root of your depression. I'm going through a blue period myself right now, had my first serious anxiety attack recently and am not having a great day today frown . Needless to say, I am very sympathetic to your problems right now. Hopefully someone wonderful will enter your life and be supportive through this.

_Sarah_

_Sarah_

Kalamazoo, MI
January 2003

SEP 18, 2003 01:05 PM

superficial said:
thank you for all the advice so far...

i don't know exactly what is making me depressed, i'm just noticing all the effects it's having on my life... lack of interest in things that i once loved, pushing people away, sleeplessness, panic attacks when i have to talk to people i don't know...

i've tried going out and doing things but every thing reminds me of her... for the past 4 years i had a mostly wonderful girlfriend, that i pushed away by not breaking out of my rut...



Bingo. Clinical depression. You're exhibiting classic signs - sleeplessness, losing interest in things you loved, etc. Since you're depressed and feeling worthless, you also slip into social anxiety (going out, seeing people you don't know, panic attacks when confronted with strange people, etc). The two sometimes go hand in hand, especially if it goes untreated for too long. You feel you are worthless; therefore, you want to avoid situations and people who might make you feel that you really ARE worthless. The littlest criticism can send you into a deeper funk, so you avoid situations like that.

Again, been there. smile

People who suffer from depression often lose their partners because that partner doesn't understand why someone who adored them and paid attention to them suddenly doesn't want to be around them or have sex. They don't realize that it's the depressed person's feeling of low self-worth that causes that person to pull away... the depressed person feels they don't deserve anyone, so they want to hide from the world, and sex isn't even a concept. Depression fucks with the libido BIG TIME.

In turn, the lover feels gilted and feels like THEY'RE the one who is undesirable now. It's a bad cycle.

It's messy, and I feel bad that you didn't realize what was going on until it was too late.

I suggest you go to a psychiatrist and deal with the issues, and then - if it's possible (and I hope it is) - talk to your former partner and explain everything that happened and the therapy you are going through. It's a tough road to follow and especially tough for the non-depressed person to hold on and get through the other person's downswing, but committed couples CAN do it. The non-depressed person just needs to keep repeating, over and over, "It's the disease, not him... it's the disease, not our relationship... it's the disease, not me."

Again, been there. smile

Just take it one step at a time. You sound like you have a firm grasp on what you're dealing with (always good), so the first step is to call your local mental health (usually by county) and tell them what's up.

This will take a long time to sort through and heal, so please be patient and know that you are doing a Very Good Thing. In time, your relationships will heal as well, but you're priority one at this point. Worry about that stuff later. Just concentrate on getting better, and it will all fall into place. smile

_Sarah_

_Sarah_

Kalamazoo, MI
January 2003

SEP 18, 2003 01:11 PM

mydogfarted said:
First off, "she" sucks if she can't see that something is wrong with you.



Actually, she doesn't suck. It's hard to diagnose this sort of thing because it manifests as problems in the relationship. If she has low self-esteem, she'll immediately think he has a problem with her. If not, she'll just assume he's being an aloof asshole all of a sudden and decide it isn't worth it. Since he didn't know it was Depression, there was no way for them to find a way to fix it.

I'm guilty of this as well. I assumed it was all my fault until I found out he was Depressed. It was a very rough month, and I'm glad I stuck it out to find out exactly what was up. I knew something was going on, but I didn't want to assume until he was ready to talk about it. My background in Psychology helped, I admit, so it's easy to see how women who don't have that sort of training wouldn't recognize the pattern, try to analyze it, and then talk to their mate.

Even those who are Depressed can't always tell when they're slipping down. Because of this, they'll exhibit symptoms for a couple of days or a couple of weeks before they realize what's up and warn their loved one that they might be sort of aloof for a while. If a relationship lacks decent communication, this can become disastrous.

Since HE didn't know what was wrong, why should SHE be able to figure it out? The blame lies on neither of them.

superficial

superficial

I'm lost
OLD SKOOL

SEP 18, 2003 02:46 PM

Sorcha said:

mydogfarted said:
First off, "she" sucks if she can't see that something is wrong with you.



Since HE didn't know what was wrong, why should SHE be able to figure it out? The blame lies on neither of them.



i'm not blaming her... you're right it wasn't her fault...

you are so right on about feeling worthless... etc. it just sucks... it felt like nothing i did helped... everything just kept pushing me down.

thank you all for the comments, support and advice so far... you wouldn't believe how much i appreciate it right now.

beaky

beaky

Miami, FL
April 2003

SEP 18, 2003 02:52 PM

yup got it!

_Sarah_

_Sarah_

Kalamazoo, MI
January 2003

SEP 18, 2003 02:54 PM

superficial said:
i'm not blaming her... you're right it wasn't her fault...



I know you weren't. I was replying to someone else. smile

superficial

superficial

I'm lost
OLD SKOOL

SEP 18, 2003 02:59 PM

Sorcha said:
I know you weren't. I was replying to someone else. smile



sorry, i should have been more clear, i was agreeing with you and disagreeing with mydogfarted.

i still love her and wish her the best, i can understand how it was hard for her to deal with me. frown

Lily

Lily

SUICIDEGIRL

New York, USA

SEP 18, 2003 03:01 PM

excersize, good sleeping patterns, sunlight is good because you need vitamin d, make sure you get all of your vitamins and eat healthy, but don't take any meds.

_Sarah_

_Sarah_

Kalamazoo, MI
January 2003

SEP 18, 2003 03:06 PM

Medicine can help since it's a chemical process (problems with reuptake in the brain and such), but most good doctors will suggest you change your eating habits and exercise before putting you on medicine.

Still, it does come down to chemicals in some instances, and medicine is the only option in that case.

I was violently opposed to taking Risperdal for the longest time, but when my boyfriend begged me to try it during a horrid panic attack (and then it started working), I cursed myself for not doing it sooner. tongue

I had been trying to get rid of the attack in the usual ways, and it wasn't getting better, and it was going on two days, so I didn't feel bad about "giving in". The medicine took the bad chemicals and adrenalin away, and I got some sleep and started breathing again.

And that's all it does. It controls the chemicals. It's not a cop-out. People don't realize it's not just a bad mood you can't get out of. It's a chemical imbalance that needs to be fixed.

[Edited on Sep 18, 2003 by Sorcha]

RumpusParable

RumpusParable

Copperas Cove, TX
April 2003

SEP 18, 2003 04:20 PM

how is your diet? do you get enough of all your nutrients? how is your breathing (deep & healthy normally or shallow and in your upper chest)? are you stuck in a rut in life? do you get any exercise (doesn't have to be intense)? do you get enough water on a daily basis? and so on...

the majority of those that show symptoms of depression are suffering from the long-term effects of poor lifestyle choices. in short, not taking enough care of themselves to keep their body working well.

also, simple little things we don't pay attention to can drag us under & hold us, when there is no chemical imbalance actually there. -stagnating in life (job, relationship, personal growth, & any combination) can also cause emotional & physical feelings that get mistaken for clinical depression.

start seeing a doctor, but make sure they don't assume immediately that you need meds. you may, but many doctors are jumping to that conclusion before doing a full, rich evaluation. make sure you get a thorough evaluation: blood work, discussion & work with a nutritionist, therapy & monitoring for a while with mental health doctors to see how/what changes in diet, exercise & life status cause. even if it turns out you *do* need meds, doing all these things is vital to make the most of any medication you are placed on. while medications can be a godsend to those who need them, they are serious & should be taken by only those that have the physical need.

see a doctor & get everything looked at and your whole situation considered and find out what you need -whether meds or a seemingly little change in your life.

why wait when you could be working towards feeling better?

ElleBelle

ElleBelle

Portland, OR
August 2003

SEP 18, 2003 04:29 PM

Lily said:
excersize, good sleeping patterns, sunlight is good because you need vitamin d, make sure you get all of your vitamins and eat healthy, but don't take any meds.



she makes agood point about the sunlight- OPEN Curtains- it stimulates a part of the brain. Some people use light therapy- but natural sunlight works well!!!!

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