NEWS: Magic Man Chooses Wrong Moment To Not Be Magic.

CULTURE: Magic Man Chooses Wrong Moment To Not Be Magic.

NOTE: First of all, I want to say that I absolutely hope the gentleman discussed below makes a 100 percent recovery. Secondly, I've calculated the odds of him or someone he knows reading this piece at the ultra-scientific "highly fucking unlikely." Thirdles, let's say his neighbor does read it and mentions it to him as he's being gurnied into his house, honestly, is he gonna care?

Neighbor: "Hey some guy on the internet just --

Man: "You know my leg came of my body, right?" Slam!

He doesn't slam the door; he actually just says, "Slam!" Remember, 'cause he's on a gurney? Let's move on...

Okay, I'm gonna go back and look at the beginning of that statement.

That really is the WORST kind of holy man to be, isn't it? Self-proclaimed. Ideally, you'd be the kind that other people proclaim as holy. Start small, a grass roots-type thing, a few people whispering, "Hey, he touched me and medicine came out!" A few more rally to your side, suddenly, you've got a full blown following.

It's not a real great sign when only one person believes in your holy man status, and, oh yeah, that person is you. Those two things happening means there's a pretty good chance you're a lunatic.

I guess that's the risk you run when you talk publicly about a body part's special abilities. It's why in 31 years I've never revealed the curative powers granted by swallowing my penis. It's just too dangerous!

Also, am I the only one picturing the doctors rubbing the leg all over another man's body? "Work damn it! Leg, do your stuff!"

His claims just go against basic rules of ownership. I mean, when you get a giant bag of money with a dollar sign on it, or a ruby-covered watch, do you draw back the curtains on your front window and put it up on display? No, you put it in a safe, out-of-sight place. THIS GOES DOUBLE WHEN THE VALUABLE IS A BODY PART. Triple, when it's your body part, and it's still connected to you.

What the fuck's with these idiots? "As thanks for previously helping them with his magical touch." What, having them take a "magic aspirin" he'd had balanced on his knee? They don't ask for a real test before they get to limb-stealing? "Wish my tennis elbow away this instant!" How hard would that have been? Then they could've just moved on to a real target (a man with a golden sternum!) with the man intact.

Something tells me they've got a secret lair filled with stolen lucky rabbit's feet, horseshoes, boxes of Lucky Charms and five grand in Monopoly money. And, if we have any luck at all, a bound and gagged David Copperfield.



TheCoolerKing really does hope the holy man pulls through... and then announces his discovery of a far easier to replace, magic rock or stick.

This article doesn't have a leg to stand on.

*rimshot*

Boy, he must be kicking himself.

*rimshot*

Now that we've got the horribly punnery out of the way, amusing article, TCK. And I concur w/the wishes of a speedy recover for Mr. "Holy" Man.

Be forewarned, I may be forced to steal this line for my own uses.

-TM

Best visual I've had all week.

come on...i mean if his leg has magical healing powers it OBVIOUSLY needs to be attached to his body to work.

it's not some monkey paw.

those two goons are the ones who deserve to be made fun of.

"oh snap this old dude's leg is totally magic...let's cut it off and magic stuff for ourselves!"

retarded.

This is horrible, horrible, horrible, but the article was damn funny. I appreciate the "note" but it wasn't really all that necessary being as you were ripping apart the idiots that stole his leg more than the guy itself. Anyway, it was apparent who the dumbfucks word. TCK, I'm actually starting to enjoy your posts.

Spoken like a man who really knows a lot about real magic, as opposed to all that fake stuff flying around.

haha exactly, they didn't recite incantations or anything to preserve the magicness!

hopefully somewhere in there you noted the "wow those dudes cut some crazy old guys leg off...wtf?"

I wonder if they dyed his leg green and attached it to a keychain?

Haha, I know, right?!? Man, those guys really need to brush up on their magic-man handling protocol.

And yes, yes I did

I wouldn't assume that a lucky body part would still WORK after being cut from the body that gives it life.
Then again, I wouldn't think there was such a thing as a lucky body part, so clearly I can't get inside these dudes' heads.

It sounds as though the leg was bad luck to begin with.

I mean...of ALL APPENDAGES to claim has magical healing powers if you TOUCH it...really, this guy can't be too bright

"Yanadi Kondaiah, 80, said that those who touched the leg would be cured of illness or have wishes granted."

If he was smart enough he would have been telling everyone that his knob was holy in this case... Although the eventual outcome, evidentally, may have been worse for him...

No silly, The leg has the power. Without the leg he cannot heal. However, they will be growing their own holy man from the leg. Aholy man that they control and use for their own nefarious purposes.

way to get a leg up on this story.

I think having a magic wart or boil would be the best case.

did you just say magic man-handling protocol... because when ever someone man handles me its always magic!

This isn't one of those 'self-proclaimed' magic vaginas is it?

Those guys knew that the victim is not a rabbit, right??
Although, if he recovers he might be hopping around like one.
Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Hah. Indeed.

If a billion Christians simultaneously pray that God grow his leg back, and it does, then and only then will I believe in God and the so called power of prayer. Jesus had a lot in common with our Indian friend. Both sorcerers and snake oil salesmen. He got what he deserved.

total 'goose that laid the golden egg' story.

i guess 'man that lost the magic leg'?