NEWS: Scott Ian's Food Coma: DonÂ’t Fuck With the Sommelier

CULTURE: Scott Ian's Food Coma: Don’t Fuck With the Sommelier

End of the year “Top Ten” lists are a little less annoying than New Years resolutions. I get at least eight (8!!!) requests for these mind-bending treatises every November. I’m very popular and my opinion is very important. Suck it.

Actually, people know I like to espouse my views on this kind of stuff and I am a listy (anal) kind of guy.

When I put my mind to it this year I was pleasantly surprised to see that I actually could come up with ten things. Ten records that made me want to get stabby!

Then I thought, hey, this is a food column. Should I write about my top ten meals of the year? Who the hell can remember that?? My Grappa soaked brain will not comply. Actually I think I can remember a few so maybe that will be part of the next column.

This time I decided IÂ’d do a pairing like restaurants will do with food and wine. I like when the sommelier pairs wine with your meal. Unless you are a sommelier, the sommelier knows better than you no matter what you think your fancy palate says. IÂ’ve met sommeliers whose tongues can blindly tell you the patch of dirt your grape came from. DonÂ’t fuck with the sommelier.

IÂ’m pairing music and booze because like I said, my opinion is a really big asshole. Ok without further adoÂ…..

1. Machine Head – The Blackening. Not only the best album of the year, I think it’s the best metal record of the decade so far. This goes very nicely with Grey Goose and Coke.

2. Mastodon – Blood Mountain. I know it came out in 2006 but I listened to it constantly in 2007. I would pair this with Southern Comfort, straight up and warm.

3. Heaven & Hell – Live At Radio City. The Dio/Sabbath reunion was a dream come true for me. And the new song Shadow Of The Wind is so fucking heavy. It sounds like what you would hear when you wake up in Hell. I hope they make a record! You have to drink Absinthe with this. The real stuff, not the fake shit they sell everywhere now. And pour it over the sugar, the ritual is important. It’s everything.

4. Every Time I Die – The Big Dirty. This band always surprises me. So many influences and styles and it all works. Refused meets Black Sabbath. Riff mania. Paired with a case of PBR.

5. Serj Tankian – Elect The Dead. I know for some Serj is an acquired taste. Either you love him or hate him. I love him. And a bottle of Brunello Di Montalcino (fine Italian Sangiovese) will really help you connect.

6. Foo Fighters – Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace. I loved the first two Foo records and then I lost touch with them. This record brought me right back. Dave is a master of the hard rock hook. Time for a Black Tooth Grin. I just did a bunch of these with Grohl in Manchester. Shot of Crown or Seagram’s 7 very chilled with a splash of Coke. Repeat 6-12 times. Drink it or wear it!!! Dime forever!!!!

7. Led Zeppelin - The Complete Led Zeppelin. I already have all the records. I downloaded the whole catalog from iTunes and have not stopped listening. They sound as fresh and relevant today as they did 30 years ago. Served with a proper Imperial pint (pints) of Guinness.

8. Down – Down III: Over The Under. Phil sings his ass off on this record. The riffs are greasy and heavy like the Debris (beef ends and drippings) at Mother’s in New Orleans. I highly suggest a single barrel bourbon with some years on it like Pappy Van Winkle, Blanton’s, Eagle Rare, Woodford Reserve, Sazerac Rye and if you can’t find those, Maker’s Mark will work fine. If you must, one ice cube or a splash of water. Neat is best.

9. Robert Plant & Alison Krauss – Raising Sand. This album is all about mood, vibe and it’s beautiful. Graham’s 40 Year Old Tawny Port will go down as smooth as this record.

10. Pearl – Pearl EP. I have to mention this because I spent most of the year working on it and it fucking rocks!!!!! Pair it with a double Patron Silver chilled.

Bang your drunken heads my friends.
Cheers,
Scott

Scott Ian plays guitar for revolutionary metal band Anthrax and also for Pearl.

Artwork credit: Shepard Fairey

in my book, a case of PBR goes well with anything. but that's jersey girls for ya.

word. stonking recommendations.

I fail to find any flaws to this list. Number 3 would be one of my favorites too, especially the ritual part. Incidentally, I just came across a very nice spoon on a flea market the other day, which I couldn't buy due to its insanely high price

Tonight I shall get wasted while listening to the Black Sabbath compilation, though.

Great list, I especially like the mention of Plant and Krauss.

Angie STone.

Drink yummy booze and listen to good tunes? Well, if you insist...

Dude... you've seriously lost touch with your NYC roots!

Then again, I still think 'Among the living' is the greatest Anthrax album EVAR!

I guess you only read the Mastodon part.

Yes,

and yes.

you have become too sophisticated my friend what ever happened to the scott ian who drank this all the time . what did you man grow up or some thing? lol your still number 1 boss.

Uh, when we went to VH, I was drinking Bud Light. What the fuck?

And why no mention of VH? Explain.

Because both Bud and VH suck elephant testicles.

serj tankian...way to honorably mention this album. like wine, it's a taste you have to develope into liking. But I will tell you, pick a brisk scotch and it will go down just as smoothly with this little gem.

The most difficult thing in music is to write a top quality song with very fuzz heavy guitars.

Agree on the first.

On the second point, you should know that I now have to kill you.

Bring it on, you unmployed old man. I wonder what drink would go well with a total ass-kicking?

Very nice list, sir. Might I add an honorable mention with Hellyeah paired (of course) with another Black Tooth Grin.

Well- over my head here...but I love Johnny Cash and Tom Petty, and got a litre of Crown Royal for a tip today....

Good calls on most of these. I do not see number 7 though. Led Zep just does not feel like a Guiness to me. They are more like a good Jamaican Rum.

and remember to do a 1 part absinthe, 3-5 parts chilled water mix. the chilled bit really helps. and cover the sugar with ice to pour the absinthe and water over. a proper absinthe is at the very least 60% alcohol neat, so diluting it will really help to keep you from actually boring a hole in your head the next morning to stop the pain rather than just wanting to. good god, the hangovers from proper absinthe are another beast altogether: don't fuck with it.

or have it neat. in serious moderation. it's powerful.

honestly, absinthe is best however it tastes best to you. i go with a 1/3 mix, myself. and i have a wonderful bottle of Jade PF 1901 i spent an insane amount on. because it's the best. oh, and if you live in the US, look for a site online that will actually import it to the US, because real absinthe is technically illegal here, still. i recommend Liqueurs de France, personally, as they insure your shipment for anything. you will get your order, or you will get your money back, no matter what.

A digestif- The last three Ministry discs go well with arsenic. And, the new Exodus? That goes well with any double IPA and a swift kick to the International Law glands. Machine Head, indeed. Even with DP. But, don't forget, in terms of "heavy" tunage, there are tracks to be had with Hell Yeah, Crowjack, and even Bob Mould.

Good advice. Fine column.

Cheers.

Now, some shamelessness- but it's all for a good cause with a nice libation.

http://truthemergency.us/

http://www.mythinfo.blogspot.com/

Boddington's actually.

It's funny how Scott Ian starts off with an explanation of how the sommelier knows best, no matter what you think you know. Then he presents himself as the sommelier for music/beverage reccommendations. And the title of the article is DON'T FUCK WITH THE SOMMELIER! In other words, it doesn't matter what YOU think you know about drinks and music. Scott Ian is the emeffing sommelier.

Followed by a bunch of posts to tell the sommelier what he did wrong.

I'm very popular and my opinion is very important. Suck it.