Hey, sinners! You'd better come out of that downward dog right now if you want to save your soul from hell fire!

On a recent 700 Club (you guys saw it, right?) one viewer wrote in apparently trying to determine the consequences of DYWC (Doing Yoga While Christian).

I've always been curious about yoga. What is the Christian view of this form of exercise? Does it really have its origins in evil? Can engaging in such a form of exercise adversely affect our spiritual health?

Pat "9/11 was caused by abortionists, feminists and gays" Robertson replied that:

Stretching is great. I think stretching before you exercise is fine. They have some stretches that are part of the yoga regime that are very good for you. But when you get into that other stuff and you get into the higher consciousness and you're supposed to merge your spirit with the ever-present God and God is everywhere, it's a form of Pantheism. It gets really spooky and I just dont think you ought to be engaged in yoga.

Oh, for Krishna's sake. What's wrong with the concept that God is everywhere? Remember Jesus? Remember when he said he was God and then he showed up on Earth? I remember learning in Sunday school to always give to the homeless because it could be Jesus in disguise because he is everywhere!

I know what Pat is getting at. If we great unwashed masses think that God is within our realm or that we can be lifted up to a higher mind, we might start thinking for ourselves and wanting peace. (Uh-oh!)

But clearly Pat "stretching is great" Robertson has never been to a yoga class. You dont just close your eyes and find God. I've tried to quiet my mind many times but usually I'm just thinking, "Don't fart. Dont fart. Come on, stomach. Hold it in for another 45 minutes."

When our yoga class has to chant the occasional "Om" I'm not falling under the spell of pantheism. I'm usually wondering, "Whose breath is that? Why can't people brush their teeth before class? Why does everyone have to try to chant the loudest? It's not a competition."

I've never heard any Hindu Gods whispering to me while I'm on my mat, trying to lure me to the dark side. What I do hear over and over are horrible Dave Matthews Band and Blues Traveler songs. (My yoga teacher likes to make his own mix CD's. During the hardest part of the class he starts blaring shitty music that's more appropriate for a game of hacky-sack.)

Besides, kids and Christians these days aren't just doing yoga for spiritual enlightenment anyway. We all secretly want a body like Madonna (well, except for her psycho arms) Namaste.

sidious500

Oxford, MS

March 2007

NOV 30, 2007 12:10 PM

My parents always told me, "Bendy hands are the devil's playground."

Flyer

USA

August 2005

NOV 30, 2007 12:15 PM

Robertson is a fucking tool. A complete born again asshole. Satan loves him.

ardour

Ottawa, ON

March 2006

NOV 30, 2007 12:22 PM

Didn't he recently say that Christians shouldn't be worried about Christmas trees being casualities in the The War on Christmas? Because, you know, they're pagan or whatever.

Formus

Milwaukee, WI

May 2007

NOV 30, 2007 12:26 PM

Pat Robertson did not declare that 9/11 was caused by abortionists, feminists, and gays. As I recall, that was Falwell.

Vidalia

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

NOV 30, 2007 12:29 PM

this guy's a genius. He's like your 90 year old rascist great-grampa, who won't stop patting the waitress on the ass and calling her hunnie. He's an idiot, but he's so old and completely lost on what is appropriate by today's standards, that it's kind of cute, really.

ardour

Ottawa, ON

March 2006

NOV 30, 2007 12:33 PM

Formus said:
Pat Robertson did not declare that 9/11 was caused by abortionists, feminists, and gays. As I recall, that was Falwell.

You're correct.