NEWS: Nice Try. No Cigar.

CULTURE: Nice Try. No Cigar.

Dig this email I just got.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

Details thinks "uber-boobs" are unattractive! I bet all the girls are just falling on their knees thanking god that we've got permission from Details magazine not to get breast implants.

Isn't that white of them? No lady wants to have "out of control" boobs!

I just feel so much better about my feminism now that I know that Details doesn't approve of breast implants. Whew.

The article, if you're bored shitless and don't have anything else to read, is here. I have no idea if it's hilarious, inane, or wrath-inducing, because I can't be bothered to read some wanking article from Details about breasts. But hey, if you're so inclined, there's the click.

(P.S. to A. from DETAILS Magazine: actually, we bitches don't care what you think of our bodies. Sorry about that. Go buy yourself something nice and feel better, honey.)

Bitch_PhD thinks that men who expect her to care what they find attractive are unattractive and have gotten out of control.

I like titties.

Boobies are boobaful to me

I can't stand those humungo chests that some people find super attractive...I'm horrified that one day I'll be at the supermarket and some lady will turn around with her 50" cups and klobber me into the canned soup. Horrified. Like the Hippo Lady from Rocko's Modern Life....

i read it.
the author refers to himself as a feminist.

LOL

I found some parts of this article really funny like here where they make analogous descriptions of breasticles here:

"one million shiny new über-boobs have overflowed welcoming bras like rising dough foaming over bread pans, or strained provocatively against satin blouses and wet T-shirts, pert nipples on red alert."

Or here, where they're described as a security vulnerability to to terrorists:

"Islamo-maniacs carrying handheld lasers. A quick zap where bikini top meets armpit and Great Satan's milk wagons go kablooey."

And also in a strange twist of the pop-cans stacked to the moon concept we get this:

"If you laid them end to end they would stretch from Clifton, New Jersey, to Columbus, Ohio!"

That's quite an image but they don't tell us just how far that is, now do they? Thank gawd for google maps telling us that the distance is 532 miles. This makes me picture that part in 40 days and 40 nights where Josh Hartnett is flying over the field of boobs.

Did you write them back and enlighten them in a polite, informative manner as to why you and your readers wouldn't be interested in their article, thus explaining an aspect of feminisim to an audience that is obviously only marginally familiar with the topic, or did you just laugh at them?

I'm guessing they thought you'd be interested in it because the article attempts, in a rudimentary way that is accessible to the kind of people who read a magazine like Details, to discuss the pressure women feel to look attractive to men, the societal pressure to have big pin-up tits in order to be considered attractive, and things like women "obediently conforming to some caricature of beauty fantasized by traveling-salesman types."

The man who wrote the article refers to himself as a feminist. Since he's so obviously miguided in your opinion, perhaps some education from a proper bitch could straighten him out!


For the record, it's a fairly inane, innocuous article.

It's actually not a terrible article. Any biased viewpoint is going to appeal to some and piss off others but he shares my view, so I thought it was alright.

details...that's like...the in touch weekly of the mens magazine world, right?

I'm not entirely certain all 500,000 women who had breast implants done this year necessarily had augmentations...I know at least two women who had reductions, and a third who simply wanted to look "younger"

I appreciate the effor at dispelling the myth that bigger is better but rather than denouncing implants, why not take the high road and praise natural beauty? (other than the fact that the editors of Details would probably call you any number of "Hippy" names)

I'm also curious who else he sent an e-mail to.

So you care so little about what the people at Details think that you did exactly what they asked, and linked to the article in your blog? How revolutionary of you.

why should she bother trying to talk to him? he's one of them.

Did they say anything about 3rd nipples? Cuz I think that is an under-researched topic.

Pfft. You probably read Details.

boobs are awsome, in just about any size...

my sentiments exactly.

I used to have a 3rd nipple on my forehead but it was removed due to pressure from the government because it gave me tremendous pscyhokinetic power.

I posted about it and assume that if they want people to be doing that, they'll check people's blogs.

It's actually not my job to educate *everyone* who says something stupid, especially not politely. The guy does press releases: it's *his* job to make me want to read and blog the article, rather than to make me think it sounds like it's misogynistic crap.

I'm also not under any obligation to be "revolutionary". So sorry to disappoint you, though.

so your name is just a verb then?

I'm calling bullshit. How can you even seriously write an article about something you didn't even bother to read? Then you go on to top that off with an incredibly arrogant and extremely sexist attitude. According to your "logic", a man who writes articles for a magazine that you don't care for and claims to be a feminist, automatically is not. Way to promote stereotypes. I have some pretty strong opinions myself. I also posses a quality called "tact". You should try it some day, people might take you more seriously. You seem to have the attitude that if someone has a penis, they shouldn't even bother calling themselves a "feminist" because they could never live up to your standards of "feminism". I'm not saying that you should "know your place and behave like a good girl" or any other ridiculous bullshit like that, so don't even try to pin that kind of Neanderthal thinking on me. There's a difference between having strong opinions and fighting for what you believe in, and just being a self-righteous jerk.

No, it's not your job. Just thought it would be appropriate, especially since last time I checked quite a few people who used the title "PhD" were pretty interested in sharing knowledge and educating people (but don't get me wrong, I've had coffee with a number of professors who delighted in telling stories and laughing about people dumber than them).

Cool, good to know you're not actually interested in educating those who misunderstand feminist concepts about feminism, you're more into harranguing the already-converted and laughing at those who aren't as familiar with feminist constructs as you are. Your articles make a hell of a lot more sense in that context.

Nothin' quite like filling that article quota eh?

I was hoping this was an article about an aborted attempt to use a cigar as a sexual aid.

thank you, sir. like yazoo once said, dont go.

a lot of people read details and a lot of self-proclaimed feminists complain about the messages contained in magazines such as details but now all of the sudden "we bitches don't care what you think of our bodies"? ooh. how bitchy! if any of that were true we would have one less thread to kvetch about, yes?