NEWS: Somebody Beat Up Fabio, And That Somebody Was George Clooney!

OMGZ! No one may have fun in my thread but me!

Seriously, I don't even know what you're talking about. I wasn't even cracking on you. Is it hard being a comedian that doesn't understand humor?

Hahaha, dude, I didn't take it as an all out assault but when you alter a line I used earlier and then leave it as a comment under my story, then, um, yes, I assume it's a callback meant for me, not the lady who wasn't even involved in the thread then...

Considering our last go round was two days ago, when I saw the comment I assumed you were still a bit annoyed. If that was not a reference at all to my earlier slam and somehow a stand alone joke that you really believe I misinterpreted, by all means, I apologize.

You may have all the fun you can carry but I think we've established you're not a big fan of my brand of comedic bullshit-ery... Now, with me being such a humongous fucking fan of me, that fact is hard to fathom, but... it seems to be the case.

Sorry man. It's just You vs. Epic Suck.

It always has been.
We're rootin for ya if it's any consolation. We know you can beat the suck.
You just keep tryin. Never give up kid !

Well, OK. On second thought, it was what was intended to be a lighthearted crack. But I was so discombobulated from being vanquished by your "I'm so handsome" retort that I couldn't think straight.

But seriously, you're right. It was a crack. My bad.

No, dude, it was just all in good fun. I thought the "hobby" line was hysterical. I'm using it from now on for pretty much everything I do. I'm a hobbiest. It's nice. It frees me up to be mediocre. I like that.

But rest assured, I'm not upset or annoyed. Really. I don't take any of this nearly so seriously that I can't laugh at myself or the absurdity of two (or more) douchebags sniping at each other over the internet. I was just trying to amuse myself. Which is 93% of the reason I say anything around here.

Well, funny is in the eye (or ear? brain? I have no idea) of the beholder and all. I just think you'd be funnier if you'd laugh at yourself once in a while.

But what you're doing seems to do well for you most of the time, so whatever works.

That may be a valid point. In this case, I just didn't think the first two criticisms had merit. (from bean and pointblank) I'm certainly capable of being a huge ass, though, no argument there... And I'm more than happy to debate (or battle) over whether my pieces are funny or not, whether a line is stale or if I took a cheap shot (quite often), etc...

The only debate I find pointless is the "report the full story," one. As I've said before, every single piece I do is intended as comedy (don't ask me the percentage that actually makes it there), whereas other writers on this site (though some do comedy, too), often write other types of articles: to shed light on a problem, tell a story, report, open a dialogue, etc. It's two different things...

Fair enough, though, it is sort of pointless to battle like this. But god damn it's fun and people seem to enjoy the spectacle. Glad you didn't take anything too personally.

By the way, if you're looking for an excuse for mediocrity, I've found that a shitty work ethic and unchecked arrogance have done well for me...

Yeah, I was just too lazy to actually go look up the other names

BTW, the "shitty work ethic" bit reminded me of the "stopping work if I spot a paperclip that needs bending" bit, which made me laugh again. So, this article seems to have kept me amused!

OH JESUS i forgot about the bird! aaaaaahahahaha this is my favorite article on sg EVER

He's 48, only 2 years older than Clooney.