NEWS: Naked Chocolate Jesus Cries Because You Drink Miller Lite

To the fundies: YOUR God gives MY God head. Now shut up and get me a Miller.

Basically, when your religion (and its many factions) are the only ones in America that go out to parks with sandwichboard signs and yell at people of all faiths including your own that they are going to hell because they don't believe YOUR brand of religion, you ask for the treatment you get. I think it's time more of this kind of thing started turning up, and show these groups of folks who push Jesus like a drug exactly what fucking centuy they live in. They need to lighten up a bit. It's a fucking POSTER. Like tons of other posters spoofing The Last Supper.

Think about it: If God hates homosexuals then why did He create them? Heard of the "Gay Gene?" I don't know about you, but I don't know of anyone who can create a gene from scratch and just "turn" someone gay. In fact, multiple historians have alluded to the possibility that Christ himself was either homosexual or bisexual.

And BDSM? Let's see: The Catholic Church used to employ floggings as Pentinance. They had two whips for it: the Cuerda, which was used by the priest on a pentinent, and the Disciplina, which was used by the pentinent on him/herself. Oddly enough it was not considered freakish for a person to request a flogging "for the love of God." Take a trip into a BDSM "Dungeon" sometime. You will see all sorts of devices: Ball Crushers, chastity belts, shackles, collars, racks, bits, gags, whips, clamps, CROSSES, spikey little nasties, maybe even a dunk tank. Ever pondered, even for a second, where these devices came from? Most, in fact nearly all, were designed or inspired by the catholic church during the inquisition.

So in closing, I leave you a question: Why, then, is the church so opposed to the Folsom Street Fair, when given that they pretty much designed the tools of the trade, they ought to sponsor it?

I kind of thought that too.

I really don't like Miller, though.

Dilemma!

1. Well, that's a point to be made for those against the Fair who are Catholics, maybe. Fundamentalists and evangelicals (and hell, a lot of Protestants, too) aren't such fans of Catholicism, so that argument isn't going to work for them. The fact that they didn't like Catholicism is the main reason why a lot of their denominations exist in the first place.

2. Theoretically, people weren't supposed to be turned on by all that punishing folks/themselves for God (although Catholicism is pretty clearly chock full of BDSM all throughout, as you've mentioned).

I ♥ Miller. It's my cheap beer of choice and has been for generations in my family.

Mmm... High Life.

You make some fair points there, my original post was mostly aimed at the Catholics.

However, there is still this to ponder: Spoofing The Last Supper is neither new nor uncommon.:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I could easily find more, but I have only so much time in a day. I should have included the question of why this particular depiction merits such outrage. I mean, hell, look at the above examples: You have Mao Tse tung depicted as Christ in one (long live Red China, eh, comrade?), Star Wars characters (All hail shameless merchandising plugs!) and The Last Supper as a POKER GAME. And yet, I doubt anyone marched in protest or boycotted to any significant degree over these.

Then there's this part of my original comment:

See, this part is not just about Catholics, but Apostolics (Apostates, whatever) and other factions who are so closed-minded as to interpret the bible to their own convenience while being so vain (vanity is still a sin, yes?) as to believe they are superior to you and I. These people do shit like this:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

They stage rallies and marches and protests, go to parks and other public places and scream their particular manifesto in the faces of others who do not believe as they do (or DO believe as they do, but who cares as long as they think they're right?) and generally make asses of themselves. Portland, OR is full of these assholes. Funny thing is, I have yet to answer a knock at my door and greet some unwelcome Muslim or Jew or Buddhist trying to recruit me into their fold. I have never encountered anyone of these faiths wearing a sandwichboard sign or waving a banner screaming at me while I'm out at a park or shopping in town.

Cool. Hell, I'm not above making fun of religion (including my own).

Natty Ice Light sponsor any fun stuff like this?

There's your problem right there.

I think the poster is awesome. Very well done and very eye catching. Were it a picture of a gang of bears doing each other whilst waving burning bibles I could understand the fuss...

...but it's not.

Just what I was thinking!

As for the poster toting extremists who go to parks, hang out on the local campus bar street, etc...
My other half's old college room mate takes a crew down to anti-protest. They carry a white board and modify their statements to match whatever the poster board of the week is.
Half the time it is a sarcastic modification of the message. The other half it is an opposing scripture. I can't recommend it strongly enough as a fun Saturday night activity.

masterfrederick said:
Then there's this part of my original comment:

masterfrederick said:
Basically, when your religion (and its many factions) are the only ones in America that go out to parks with sandwichboard signs and yell at people of all faiths including your own that they are going to hell because they don't believe YOUR brand of religion, you ask for the treatment you get.

See, this part is not just about Catholics, but Apostolics (Apostates, whatever) and other factions who are so closed-minded as to interpret the bible to their own convenience while being so vain (vanity is still a sin, yes?) as to believe they are superior to you and I. These people do shit like this:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

They stage rallies and marches and protests, go to parks and other public places and scream their particular manifesto in the faces of others who do not believe as they do (or DO believe as they do, but who cares as long as they think they're right?) and generally make asses of themselves. Portland, OR is full of these assholes. Funny thing is, I have yet to answer a knock at my door and greet some unwelcome Muslim or Jew or Buddhist trying to recruit me into their fold. I have never encountered anyone of these faiths wearing a sandwichboard sign or waving a banner screaming at me while I'm out at a park or shopping in town.

Oh, I hear you.

In fact, at the Fair this year, some dude flew a prop plane in circles above it THE WHOLE DAY (or at least, the whole time I was there) with this trailing off the back:



That's a whole lotta free time to have on one's hands.

I read about this earlier in the week, and I, too, thought of purchasing some Miller to commemorate, but yuck. Thanks for the link to the poster, which was far less extreme than I thought it would be. Those right wing nut job motherfuckers need to get a hobby that does not involve being a busybody. Gardening might be nice.

Well, now that you've had some time to think it over, you really shouldn't purchase that Miller, because they pussied the fuck out.

I did mention that in my article, by the way, what with the quoting from and linking to the press release Miller issued apologizing for the poster and asking for their logos to be removed.

Not to toot my own horn or anything.

Since I wrote said article, Miller has apparently removed their logos from the Sponsors page on the Folsom Street Fair website, but according to the various news reports Miller has not announced any plans to stop sponsoring future Folsom Street Fairs or other GLBT events.

It's ironic that they're having a go at a subversive version of a Da Vinci painting, when Da Vinci himself tended to include his own subversive messages into paintings commissioned by the Church.

Also: How is Miller Lite like having sex in a canoe?

They're both fucking near water.