the 5 books you'd buy first if your personal library was stolen

Les Miserables-Victor Hugo
Titus Andronicus (not technically a book-I know)-Shakespeare
Mortal Companion-Pat Califia
Catch 22- Joseph Heller
No Exit ( another play) -Jean Paul Sartre

Then you wont be disappointed. I've been
accused of being wrong many times. I even
thought I was once or twice but it turned out
I was just mistaken

I'm going to replace Les Mis with One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

Marcus Aurelius - To Myself
The complete works of Arthur Rimbaud as translated by Paul Schmidt
Yukio Mishima - Spring Snow
Henry Rollins - The First Five
Kahlil Gibran - The Prophet

What a horrifying thought.

Good Omens
Winnie the Pooh (collectible, too)
Brideshead Revisited
Transparent Things
Neverwhere

Only 5????

What about my leatherbound SIGNED Hitchhikers....???

I think I might just kill myself.

EDITED: I just reread the question. What would I BUY.

Good Omens - Neil Gaiman
Neverwhere - Neil Gaiman
Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
Transparent Things - Vladimir Nabokov
The Complete PG Wodehouse - PG Wodehouse

God is a Bullet - Boston Terran
Hitchikers Guide to the Galxay - Dougal Adams
Conrad's War - Andrew Davies
Around the World in 80 Days - Jules Verne
Stalingrad and Berlin the Downfall - Antony Beevor (I'm counting this as one book as they should be read together)

Oh no, you were wrong. You just didn't have any females around to confirm it at the time.

I knew there was a reason I liked you.

For me:

(In no particular order)

The Bible,
The Quran,
The Tao Te Ching,
The Unfettered Mind,
And Moby Dick.

Honorable mentions...
Any books that make me look like a hipster

If we're talking about real books, I have a signed first edition of Satre's plays. I'd be pissed about that...

Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
The Old Man and the Sea - Hemingway
Leaves of Grass - Whitman
The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Chbosky
The Tattooed Girl - Oates