NEWS: Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon. Be Proud of It.

CULTURE: Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon. Be Proud of It.

Do Mommies Need Makeovers? asks the NYT today. I.e., do women need cosmetic surgery after they have children?

Here are some photos from the first few sites on the Google search page for "Mommy Makeover".








Gosh, who wouldn't want surgery, looking at those pictures?

Well, I dunno. This video--and yes, it's an ad--kinda sobers things up.



And that's the problem with the "feminism is about supporting women's choices, no matter what!" argument, right there. Context matters.

If we lived in a world where we weren't surrounded, from childhood, with images of thin, young-looking, idealized, airbrushed, perky, sexified women's bodies, maybe we'd feel better about our bodies after childbirth. Maybe we'd view the scars as honorable. Maybe we'd laugh at the idea of risking death and spending thousands of dollars to get rid of them. Maybe if we weren't afraid to show them, and people could get used to the variation and reality of mature women's bodies, we might even find them beautiful.

I wish every mommy that thinks about getting a mommy makeover had a better set of values and womanly pride to pass along to her children. And that everyone with an opinion about what's hot and what's not would think, hard, about whether they're celebrating or shaming women with their thoughts, words, and actions.

Bitch_PhD has a mama belly.

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't think that looking 'pretty' is worth the thousands of dollars for cosmetic surgery.

another reason not to have children

My mom had two kids and could wear a cute bikini, no surgery necessary. Just throwin' it out there, that it doesn't always end up like in those photos. Sometimes a little running and healthy eating can do the trick well enough.

let's not forget one of the most startling things i've read about "mommy makeovers" in awhile -- being that now mom's aren't even waiting to be out of the delivery room before they get abdominoplasty. now women are doing it at the same time as a c-section, right after the baby is out. fucking wrong if you ask me. i would think a mother's only thought would be on her new born following a c-section, not how soon the scalpel can reinstate her six pack.

Cosmetic surgery will always be a moral conundrum... How valuable is beauty?

Tough question to answer. Though I believe the answer will be different for every person.

It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman. If the "disfigurement" or "imperfection" you want to correct is cause by child birth, and accident, or it is just something you were born with. It comes down to what you want to do with your body. Yes, social ideals and standards do play a part; but only if you are willing to give in to them.

The real issue here isn't about societies standards of beauty. It is about every individuals standard of self respect. More people need to be (as Bitch_PhD obviously is ) proud of themselves and their bodies instead of subcoming to the idiotic standards of beauty magazines.

Video almost made me cry. I feel like teh beauty industry is out of control. I mean I know friends whose daddies bought them new boobs as soon as tehy turned 18 as a grad gift. I can only imagine whats gonna happen someday when surgery is so common that I'll be the freak with boobs that arent sperical etc. I'm ashamed at the lengths women feel they have to go to to feel worth it as a human being, to feel successful. It's so backwards. Is growing a baby, getting a job, having a baby pass thru ur vag, raising a human being and accomplishing a life time of success and happiness not enough anymore? Are we nothing unless we are aesthetically perfect?

What is the wake up call going to be. Womens bodies used to be revered, scars and all. This site makes a point to promote other styles of beauty and body image and I commend that, but it's an uphill battle. I know I'll do all I can to help.

My girlfriend has kids....she did opt for a boob job (prior to me knowing her) as she didn't like her bewbies. She also works out quite a bit and has better abs than many girls who haven't had kids.

Caution: nudity...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

She looks awesome in my opinion and has a personality to match.

Is she a "sell-out" because she works out and stays tone? Is she a "sell-out" because she got a boob job?I don't think so and neither does she.

I don't think there's anything wrong with either "doing nothing" or "doing something" about your looks - regardless of whether you've had kids or not.

Do whatever you're comfortable with. Just don't judge others because they have different values or make different decisions.

i agree that women shouldn't feel ashamed of their changed bodies, but it's not as easy as flipping a switch. i'm concerned about procedures like this becoming more common because it assures that an unattainable notion of female beauty will continue well into middle age. i think some women would feel they'd lose less by forking over the money for a tummy tuck after having their last kid than opting out of surgery and having a husband who is unsatisfied and feels "this is not the woman i married anymore!"

as long as you have to worry that your mate might run off with his secretary who is half your age, the case for "mommy makeovers" might not be as fucked up as it sounds.

Here here!!


And, yeah, if youre that concerned about your body, good old fashioned getting off your ass can help you with that.

It is the oldest tactic in the book,...the law of the play ground, "Make fun of those who are different." Make fun and belittle womens bodies, and mens for that matter when they change with age...the more you make fun of them, the more you won't focus on me...a shallow person with no sense of self or value, who purely judges themselves by the way they look and chooses to employ the 'sex sells' policy in every aspect of my life to get what it is I desire, rather than work hard and develop myself to achieve my goals. Classic smoke and mirrors,..I will elevate myself by trodding on others as apposed to simply putting in some hard work to develop myself.
The pure beauty of this for the pageant queen Ms Seafoods, Ms Cheesecakes and Ms Donuts is that gravity gets us all one day...soon your thighs will cellulite, soon your face won't be as tight anymore, soon enough your butt will get bigger and there is nothing you can do about..no amount of surgery will fix it back to when you were 14...and in this moment because you have developed no inner strength to shelter you in times of misfortune you will become the the case of those that lived by the sword, die by the sword, and you will be the target of of some peaches and cream complexions harsh words. ..i have always believed and always will believe for the best part, that beauty is bestowed upon those you deserve it the least..and the true beautiful people on this planet know their beauty and don't need to see on the cover of a magazine to prove it.

she may not be the women he originally married,...but his receding hair and hairy back and arse and pot belly is not the man she married either...

I for some reason don't think these makeovers were really worth it on any of those women, they don't really look better in my opinion, just different... and they probably could have gotten the same results from making changes in their lifestyle.

I realize that's easier said than done, especially as I'm a fat ass myself, but they can still gain all that weight back because their lifestyle hasn't really changed from how they got that way in the first place.

Also, am I the only person that thinks the second woman's before picture is more attractive than her after? Maybe it's because her hips look bigger, and I love hips...

It would be wonderful if every woman appreciated herself for the way she was and celebrated her unique body, instead of trying to look like everybody else... but I think they have every right to get the surgery... I just think it's sad that they feel they need to.

One of my wake up calls to how society has screwed with peoples feelings twoards feminine beauty was when a guy told me that he didn't like pubic hair because it looked un-natural.... excuse me? I think most women have some form of pubic hair naturally, past the age of 9... maybe not all, I'm sure there are exceptions, but most.

Not to say anything bad about any mothers out there. But I agree that exercise before surgery should be the answer. I know in a slim few cases there is only so much that can be done on your own about what happens to the body after having a baby. But I also know from my experiences dating in life, in many cases, they didn't try and just let themselves go.

I think we should honor mothers, otherwise we wouldn't be here right? I don't think they should run out for surgery, just do their best to stay fit, and get back what they can of their old bodies, and be happy with that.

I never cared for cosmetic surgery anyway. This is however just my opinion.

Incidentally, Dove is a brand owned by Unilever. The company also markets Axe body spray and Slimfast shakes.

I appreciate the Dove marketing campaign, but it would be nice to see some consistency with their other lines.

I'm a momma, and my bits changed color and are even more big and flowery, and my belly skin looks elephantine if you push it together, but my body is pretty freaking great compared to most people my age, and even a little younger but I'm fairly active, riding my bike everywhere and such. I'll make a bet that most of the mommies in the before and after pictures didn't have ideal bodies before kids, and their skin elasticity suffered from some lifestyle and health choices that have nothing to do with birthin' babies. I'm all tattoos and piercings myself, so I'm not one to criticize personal choices regarding physiological adornment or alteration, and I'm certainly not going to make guesses and judgements about the hang-ups, motives, or self-esteem issues that drive people to go with major cosmetic surgeries.

However, that advert made me weep a little. The product of my womanly loins and jugs, my daughter, is seven, and I hate to think that she might have the same negative self-image and sexuality issues that I had growing up. I think we have so far exposed her to a realistic view of what it is to be a happy healthy woman in real life, at a variety of ages and in a variety of shapes. Limiting her TV exposure is a big part of this, and also having a wide range of adult friends that are happy and successful women of all kinds. Also having her dad be a big part of her life, I think, helps a lot, because he has deep respect for women, and also holds my daughter in highest regard and treats her with respect, so hopefully she'll expect this from all people in her future.

If people take the time to look around at other real, live people, they might realize that the ones that are the most beautiful don't all look the same, but they usually look healthy and carry themselves with confidence.

I also see women who aren't media-driven and consumerist as truly beautiful, but maybe that's just me and my x-ray eyes. You get that too when you have babies, you know.

You know, the whole "exercise, then" response kind of misses the point. Which is that women being held / holding themselves to the standards of looking like they did before they have kids is fucked up.

I'm perpetually shocked that more people on this site don't hold precisely that view. Or the extension that we ought not judge other people's bodies, period.

As someone who was contemplating cosmetic surgery, to "fix" the damage that having children has done to my body, I really found this a timely article. I recently changed my mind about surgery and have decided to grow old with grace.

I have had to work extremely hard with my eleven year old daughter to combat the insidiousness of the media and beauty industry. She came to me at age five complaining about her "fat thighs". That was a truly frightening day for me.

The Dove campaign is awesome. I don't care that it is advertising, at least someone is doing something.

What worries me more than anything else is the overall attitude towards cosmetic surgery.

For example - say a woman had a kid and needed to have a kidney transplant shortly afterwards. The operation would be viewed as a serious procedure, and the mother would be worried about the risks, and about the possibility of her newborn child being left motherless if the operation got cocked up.

Cosmetic surgery carries exactly the same risks as any other kind of surgery, yet it seems to be viewed by many in the same field as getting your hair done.

But hey - being human is ugly these days. Maybe I'm just behind the times.

The first Dove commercial that really got my attention was the one (posted also in this thread) where they show all of the retouching done to a photo for advertising.

While I have no idea how much work goes into "normal" mainstream advertising, I would at least hope that everybody has always known (or knows now) that how any model looks in an advertisement - is not how they look "in real life."

I think it's OK to demonstrate unattainable/fantasy levels of beauty...as long as those who see it understand that it is indeed unattainable/fantasy and isn't meant to reflect real life.

My mum has had 2 children and god damn it shes hotter than me and she's almost 50!
sit ups... sit ups i say!
She didnt wait til years afterwards I think thats the key.Once she had healed she got straight back to being a healthy lady.
And for those people who say you can't find the time when you have kids, There was little old me and my brother who had ADD and my mum was a single mum.