Engagement = Partnership?

Based upon the topic of a talk radio show I heard recently, I thought I would pose a question here.

The tradition of a guy spending big bucks on an engagement ring. . . . . is it still valid? If the couple is modern, liberated, enlightened . . . should they share the expense? Should the woman give the man something of equal value?

Why . . . or Why Not?

I personally find the whole concept of engagement rings odious. It smacks of a bride price.

I don't see the point of engagment rings at all. Is it a symbol that the person is "promised," so that potential rivals will stay away? A symbolic bringing to the woman the treasure of the hunt? I can't find any reason for them that is not completely outdated by our modern concept of marriage.

I decided long ago I would never want to marry anyone who needed me to buy a rock.

I did have a girlfriend give me a really nice ring a long time ago, but after we broke up she sure did ask for it back.

Personally the reason you should be together is because you want to.

If it's a traditional type marriage though I guess some girls are still content to have a guy ask them get a ring stayhome and raise the kids.
I think if you have to ask the girl for something it kinda takes the fun out of it, but I 'spose you ask her she might go in on a pair of rings.

We have had discussions regarding rings lately. Actually, we've been having marriage discussions period. I am basically all for discounting every tradition. We can't get married in the church...I am Catholic, he is not. I have no desire to be the bride in white fluff. I have no desire to make him wear a tuxedo (seriously...I've never even seen him in suit pants and we've been together 4 years)...

My answer is...I want a ring. For reasons that are between us that I don't feel like going into. I do not want an expensive ring. I want a fake ring...a cheap one...because I tend to lose and break shit. Just one that looks nice. To be honest with you, no, I don't think we should share the cost...ultimately, it's his choice whether or not to give it to me. I'm not going to say no if he proposes with a rubber band. And I'm not opposed to giving him something of equal value. I have no idea what a good option would be...a new plasma TV? Honey...I decided to spend the rest of my life with you...here's a TV! Haha. He'd probably have to tell me what he wanted. I'm terrible with gifts.

I know several couples who never bought engagement rings. They have simple wedding bands and split the cost.

If I feel like I want to spend the rest of my life with someone, I don't need an engagement ring. If they offered one, I would be willing to split the cost, but only because I would just like to have a pretty ring at some point in my life (engagement or otherwise).

First of all, the whole idea of marriage is outdated to me. I am more of a fan of civil unions for all.

If you are going to follow the tradition of marriage, engagement, blah blah blah...then put into it what is important to you. If getting an engagement ring matters - then do it. If it doesn't - don't.

If you do buy someone a gift - regardless of the occasion, then it is just that: a gift. if the engagement is called off for whatever reason, then I guess one or both people should have thought about what they were agreeing to a little better.

Keep in mind, "tradition" has historically held us back and is holding us back as a society from accepting everyone as equals. Decide for yourself how much value it holds.

I spent a decent amount of cash (for me, a grad student...) on a beautiful engagement ring for my ex-fiance. I wanted to. It had nothing to do with buying her love. She bought me a ring, a much cheaper one, simply to show that we were each engaged to the other, for that symbolism.

We were engaged for a while, and when we broke up, I sure as hell didn't ask for the ring back. I gave it to her. It's not mine to request back. I have no idea if it's in her jewelry box or at the bottom of the Mississippi.

I didn't care that she didn't get me something of equal value. I was proud to wear the ring simply for the symbolism.

piss on engagement rings.