NEWS: Domestic Violence and Pregnancy

CULTURE: Domestic Violence and Pregnancy

How timely; just as we were talking about domestic violence, a new study came out on the subject.

And of course, once the baby's born, then the mom's the focus of all society's ire: she shoulda kept her legs closed, she's a shitty mom, she's irresponsible, she's got bad judgment.

Or, as the study's coauthor puts it,

And to the victim-blamers who want to criticize the girls for "putting up with" it, he adds,

Which I find is true. Especially once you have a child (which is surely one of the reasons why these young men try to force their girlfriends into pregnancy): once there's a baby involved, a woman is supposed to value keeping the father around above almost everything else. The U.S. Government even has an official policy about this. If the girl wants to have an abortion, we're determined to make it difficult if not impossible for her to keep that secret from her abusive boyfriend.

And of course if you think about it, the abusers are trying, in their fucked-up way, to make sure "their" girl sticks around, too. Depressing.

Bitch_PhD thinks that people need something to be proud of besides their relationships--whether it's boys trying to control their girls or girls trying to keep boys around at any cost. But other than that, she has no wisdom on this problem.

One of my friends became pregnant after what we all thought was a condom "accident" but as it turned out later, the baby's daddy pricked the condom before hand. It happens incredibly often in abusive relationships. Its absolutely sick. Especially the way the government doesn't help at all.

I worked as a counselor for battered women, all the while living in an abusive relationship myself and pregnant. I could so easily find them shleter, thinking "well thank God my situation is not as bad" I woke up. The thing one must always remember is when they know someone living in this, that just telling them to leave will not do it. They have to trust you enough to tell you anything. This is all they have and do not see a way out. It takes time and alot of patience towards the one being abused for them to see there is a way out.

I'm starting to think either a Hillary/Obama ticket or an Obama/Hillary ticket would make a lot of sense. Domestic policy recently has become increasingly more racist and sexist over the last few years, even among states, and such a ticket could really help revert things. Even if she is unlikable and he doesn't know shit about foreign policy.

Here we go again.

Did you ever hear that bit by Chris Rock about what would happen if we had a black Vice president? It's funny but I think true.

Also I don't think the U.S. is ready for a female prez., or at least not Clinton as it.

If not now, when?

I think we are indeed ready for a woman. An intelligent, strong, savvy, non flip-floppy woman.

I am not so sure Hllary is that woman, but I don't know ANYONE, replublican or democrat, who would not vote for a person just because of their gender.

But that's not really what the article is about. Or is it? What is the article about? What is the author's point? Is it just forwarding the ideas and findings in the study? Is it an opinion piece? ???

I'm one of the children that came about as the result of this kind of behaviour. Unfortunately, by the time I was old enough to understand well enough to tell my mother that no father was better than a crappy, he'd already packed a bag, shook my hand and walked out the door. The drawback of having a convent-educated mother from a super-catholic country, I suspect. I can understand it, but there will always be a part of me that believes she should have walked out the day after my forced conception, consequences and excuses be damned.

When bitches learn to stop being so uppity all the time.

do you have something to say to the whole class?

I wasn't going to comment on this because well, personally, I don't feel like I have anything to add to the conversation, but I feel that if somebody does have something to add, by all means go ahead!

Gat damn bee-hatches.

The only way out of problems like this is to think about the context that creates them, and then change it. However, it is fuckin' hard to get past the desire to punish the assholes who perpetrate this kind of shit against the women they are with. Unfortunately, that's not a response that normally ends up helping anybody, but it would be awfully satisfying.

I don't get it---why would anyone want to have kids??

Does Hillary qualify as uppity?

I have no idea. I don't personally like her, so a little bias there, and I'd rather see Obama get the nomination anyway.

Maybe if there was a better female candidate.

Not really, but if bitch could find something else to write about instead of repeating the same story that some men are assholes and rape or abuse there partners that'd be great.
For example how about a positive story about how women are doing positive things with there lives, or the women who serve in Iraq, or ANYTHING.

It's like saying that gang violence usually happens in gangs, then providing a link to a previous story about gang violence.

(I'm thinking of more to post later, I can't word it right)

I would argue that they aren't about men being asshole...nobody really needs to be reminded that men are assholes. She, at least in the article, is writing about a)what men do to be assholes, b) the excuses people make for assholes and c) how excuses are like assholes and you know the rest.

As for her articles being repetitive, I'm that means you also read the Asshole Fuckface Roundup or even Rob Corddry's articles with the same air of contempt...Just like Tom Clancy Doesn't up and Write a romance novel and Hunter S. Thompson didn't write about what celebrities were pregnant this week Bitch PhD doesn't write about the weather. Obciously you care enough about the subject to have actually clicked on the article and read through it. Furthermore, now that you've said you feel like your reading Garfield every time you click on her articles she has some feedback as to what you feel might offset that...whereas "Here we go again" seems somewhat terse and unhelpful.

Sarcastic I am, terse? unhelpful? maybe.

I think I should peruse some sets to brighten my mood.

Bloom County was my cartoon. Garfield, not so much.

Well, now I have another reason to hate humanity.

Yes, yes, let's talk about women being masculine and manly and handling guns. Let's not talk about real issues. Not everything is about the fucking troops. Honest to god.

I work with DV survivors and their kids.

The odd thing about this article is that most other research shows Domestic Violence actually increases when the woman becomes pregnant and post-natally. There are a lot of ideas as to why this is, the stress of parenthood, etc. . . but the best explanation seems to be that they get jealous of the child, and it's ability to take the woman's attention and availability.

So they knock her up to keep her close, then get upset when the child becomes a reality?

In any case, the sample is only 53 teens (this is small), and the majority were minority . . . it's not clear if this is a cultural thing or a DV thing.

But it certainly is fucked up.

Ok I do not care for Hilary. But I also do not care for the man I voted for. So many people who voted for him at the time THOUGHT he was going to be a good leader. So now those who have literaly left the party because of him are now just wanting the right person...be it male or female. The best one. It needs to be someone who goes against the norm. One who is radical enough to start a revolution here in America and say ENOUGH. F-ing IRS, F-ing Federal (whatever) reserve. Same old ways are NOT working anymore.

There has to be a revolution.

Period

We are drowing and fast.

Can it really be called a study when only 53 people were involved, and all were known to have been in abusive relationships???

That explains why almost all the teen mothers were abused by their babies fathers. I thought that seemed like a very high statistic, especially since none of the teenaged mothers I was close with in high school were abused. I think the study would have been a little more interesting and accurate if it has interviewed all types of teenaged mothers, not just ones who were already known to be in abusive relationships.