Despite what people say, reality shows are not about singing, fashion, being the best, watching someone follow their dreams, or surviving. Nope.
Reality shows are about assholes. Spotting assholes, watching them develop, and then rooting against them. That's really it. Whether it's Survivor, Apprentice, Top Chef, or even Project Runway, that's ultimately what it's about. And on most shows, the crowning moment, the best you can hope for, is waiting for that asshole to get kicked off the show, and maybe, yelled at in the process.
On The Ultimate Fighter, that asshole gets punched in the face, and you get to watch it. Then he gets kicked in the neck, dropped on his head, submitted, aaaannnnd then he gets kicked off the show.
It's the only reality show where the one thing we're all dying to see, is pretty much guaranteed to happen. And it is awesome.
Sure, sometimes that guy wins, but then a week or two later he's gotta fight again. And even if he wins then, and somehow goes on to win the show, that just means he'll be pitted against a UFC veteran, who will in all likelihood, pummel him. You get to follow this person's career and root against them for the rest of their life, and eventually, you get to see them lose. It's a satisfaction no other show can deliver.
Wouldn't you like to watch Omarosa from Apprentice get yelled at in some boardroom two years from now? How about Mr. "Not here to make friends," himself, Howie from Top Chef? Wouldn't you like watch some restaurant owner chew him out before chasing him from the kitchen and onto the dining room floor with pots whizzing by his head? Oh, trust me, it'll happen to the ole "Vanilla Gorilla," but you won't get to see it.
On the other hand, last month I got to watch Ultimate Fighter season one villain, Josh Koscheck, lose his undefeated record and get thoroughly dismantled by the most devastating welterweight on Earth, Georges St. Pierre. (For the record, even though with a name like "Georges" it sounds like there's more than one of him, and despite Koscheck's battered face telling another story, he's just one man.)
Way back in season one, Koscheck, and castmate Chris Leben got into a brief skirmish in the house. The producers pulled them aside in order to decide on a course of action. The moment on any other show where one guy would be asked to leave or assigned sessions with a psyhchiatrist. The solution on this show? "I don't care who started it, you're both gonna fight and the loser goes home." Yeah, that's a pretty good reality show and it has no equal.
The Contender? Sure, it has fighting, too. It also has edited matches, bad sound effects, and melodramatic music piped in for everything from fight walkouts to a guy making a sandwich. Where TUF is exciting, this show is dramatic... and heartwarming... and triumphant... and... whatever other emotion they decide you should be feeling at that moment.
Survivor? Is this show still on? It shouldn't be. If I wanted to look at a douchbag in a canvas cowboy hat blow into a conch shell I'd... I'd have bigger problems than what to watch on TV.
The Apprentice? The Ultimate Fighter has the advantage here in that Donald Trump isn't on The Ultimate Fighter. That's usually the mark of a good reality show, Trump's absence. Oh, and businessmen are boring and shouldn't be on TV.
Top Chef? Any show that features Anthony Bourdain mocking people is okay in my book, but he's only been on two episodes.
American Idol? Just... No.
Project Runway? Pretty good, but I notice a flaw. Maybe you've noticed it too, very rarely does host, Tim Gunn, choke anyone unconscious. Disappointing. If he had, specifically last season's winner, Jeffrey Sebelia, maybe I'd rank it higher.
The Ultimate Fighter debuts on SPIKE TV tomorrow. Feel free to watch it and tell me I'm wrong. 16 fighters, 1 UFC contract, and too many punches and kicks to count.
Most of which will be landing on an asshole.
TheCoolerKing has never actually watched The Apprentice, and yet, still feels fine judging it.
is Hung still on top chef...he deserves a serious beating as well....or maybe someone needs to dip his smug face into the deep fryer.... he really should've been gone a long time ago and the only reason he's still around is that he's an asshole...stop rewarding assholes, tv producer/people! it doesn't make for good tv anymore! and i'm pissed they eliminated sarah nguyen...at least she was cute...
I'd never actually get in the ring, mind you, just train to be one because a) it fucking sounds badass to say that, and b) its gotta get you crazy into shape.
I'd never actually get in the ring, mind you, just train to be one because a) it fucking sounds badass to say that, and b) its gotta get you crazy into shape.
*Looks down at his 140 pound body*
God I have a long way to go.
Don't let weight discourage you my man. I've been training in BJJ for 10 years now and my best weight is when I'm lighter. One thing I love about MMA is that it dispels the notion that roided up freaks are somehow 'badass' as opposed to those who know how to dismantle a human body, but don't because they have nothing to prove.
I watched that Shear Genius show Bravo had, and I kept hoping that the girl that had the hedge clippers clipped someone totally wrong. Never happened.
TUF though is awesome. You get to watch fights, you get to watch drunk college assholes, you get to watch furniture get ripped apart, and you get to watch stuff set on fire. There are no happy dances and make up hugs and if there are, they usually are followed instantly with more booze, more violence, and people being yelled out.
my problem(s) with tuf, especially last season, is that the fighters are bitches. I don't mean they can't fight, i mean whiny ass little bitches. Did you see Manny Gamberian (spelling) when someone wrote team pulver sucks on the walls? the guy was overreacting like a roid raged drama queen. Threatening to fuck whoever it was up, and then what happened? he found out who did and talked to them... what a fucking bitch move.
My next problem is Dana fucking White... So the former marine and the "bad ass" street fighter with over "300 wins" on the "street" get in a fight at the house. Dana says "it makes you guys look like animals and not highly trained athletes" and then kicks them off the show. Through the magic of editing this little "embarrassing" episode could have been edited out. It is bound to happen that these men are going to fight outside the ring, and you have to think in the back of dana's mind he loved it. it was probably the highest rated episode of the season. he puts 16 guys in a house, makes them share rooms, tells them they have to fight against each other and there can be only one, but you have to live together without a phone, and tv, oh and here is a bunch of alcohol... oh by the way we are going to tape it all... go fucking nuts guys, go nuts. OF COURSE THESE MUTHA FUCKERS ARE GOING TO FIGHT EACH OTHER EVENTUALLY. Everyone wants to be cool, and hard, and not loose face on national television. I watch it for the fights and to see the training regimne they go through. is the rest of it (at the house) entertaining? Sure if you like watching jackasses ooze machismo and act like fucking babies at every little thing.
finally, there are better reality shows. I like top chef better. TUF is alright. I was one of the few of my friends who didn't count Matt Serra completely out against GSP, and i do look forward to watching the tension build between them, and it would give me supreme satisfaction to watch matt serra kick his ass...
yeah, ninja warrior kicks ass! I love when G4 runs a Ninja Warrior mini marathon. last time i watched it only one person had ever beat stage 4... that's fucking brutal!!!
Best part of Ninja Warrior is the women's rounds they do. Those girls are TOUGH, well the ones actually trying. The other ones are just there to fail.
Team Hughes is going to lose. I'm not a big Serra fan, but I'm so tired of Hughes being arrogant and condescending all the time. I can't wait until the Pride guys get into that division and just tear them all up.
TheCoolerKing
NEWSWIRE
Los Angeles, CA
SEP 18, 2007 07:55 PM