The Parents Television Council may be the worst group in existence. I'm including Nazis, jocks and even people who "fist bump" as a greeting.

They are evil, out of control, and shockingly, somehow a group people pay attention to. They rank TV shows according to the amount of sex and violence they contains, so you don't have to bother using your brain. How does one person decide what's morally right for another person, whose values may differ from theirs? Good question. Oh, and they have a close-minded, god-fearing agenda.

A study conducted by the non-profit Parents Television Council found that instances of violence during family-hour broadcast TV had increased by 52.4 percent since it conducted a similar study in 2001, while the amount of sexual content grew by 22.1 percent.

"In the past six years, the family hour has become even more hostile to children and families," the Parents Television Council said.

Poor, poor children. Yes, it's crucial to clean up the "family hour" according to your creepy, axe-grinding mission. It's not like you're some shady group whose form letters make up 99% of the complaints to the FCC. A group who spoon feeds your members easily digestible issues to protest, based on what you've decided in advance is "allowed". Who cares if they ever even bothered to watch the episode? It's for the children right?

Apparently this godless heathen disagrees with them.

TV Watch said the study had used "faulty analysis, biased methodology and suspect omissions as part of an ongoing effort to influence regulators and lawmakers to take family viewing decisions out of the hands of parents and give them to the government."

The executive director of TV Watch, Jim Dyke, said parents had the means to control what their children watched, including the "V-chip" feature built into TV sets that allows them to set controls based upon program ratings.

"Parents need to make the decisions about what's appropriate for their child," Dyke said.

I'm conducting a study on how woefully out of touch the PTC are with the average, brain-possessing human. Forget the whole "evil, right wing monsters" thing, I'm merely citing examples of their antiquated world view. Evidence below.

1) Um, their warning system (a red, yellow, or green light, ranking acceptability), requires it's own warning!

For a more detailed ratings description CLICK HERE.
WARNING! Graphic descriptions are used.

Ghah! What to do! I want to protect my child but, at the risk of risking exposure to graphic language... Even for an adult like me, it may be too risky...

2) Ridiculous? Nope, some idiot complained. Enough idiots to warrant its own FAQ.

Is it necessary for PTC reports to be so graphic? Can't you allude to what is on shows without describing in detail the material you're criticizing?

The PTC regrets the necessity of publishing graphic examples of content from the most offensive prime time shows. Because it would be unfair to criticize programs without knowing the specifics of objectionable dialog and visuals, the PTC must provide members who wish to contact sponsors, the FCC, etc to criticize shows with precise, detailed information.

Yeah, couldn't you allude to it? Like, say, mention briefly, in passing, the part where the guy puts his "thing" into her, ahhh, you know... um, private area... part, region... so to speak- Jesus forgive me!

3) The first test for determining whether something is obscene:

An average person, applying contemporary community standards, must find that the material, as a whole, appeals to the prurient (arousing lustful feelings) interest;

Average? Like, what, 5'9" with an unremarkable build and mediocre intellect? Where does one find "contemporary community standards," a church bulletin board?

If I got "lustful feelings" while reading the above, where and how do I go about citing myself? Also, I've developed a quick, home remedy for manipulating the body in such a way that it instantly rids the body of lustful feelings, is this something that is encouraged. FYI, the kinks haven't been worked out as sometimes it causes me to fall asleep right after.

4) The entire list of GREEN, acceptable shows according to the PTC:

7TH HEAVEN, AMERICAN IDOL THE SEARCH FOR A SUPERSTAR, AMERICAN INVENTOR, ARE YOU SMARTER THAN A 5TH GRADER, DEAL OR NO DEAL, DOC, DON'T FORGET THE LYRICS, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, EXTREME MAKEOVER: HOME EDITION, FAST CARS AND SUPERSTARS, ITS A MIRACLE, JUST FOR LAUGHS, LISTEN UP, MIRACLE WORKERS,NATIONAL BINGO NIGHT, POWER OF 10, SET FOR LIFE, SUE THOMAS: F.B.EYE, SUPER NANNY,THE SINGING BEE.

I wouldn't let my kids watch a single one of these fucking shows. The Billy Ray Cyrus show? Singing contests?, The show where Ray Romano hates his wife and kids? No. Meanwhile "Veronica Mars," one of the most responsible, empowering shows ever to tackle issues like rape and teen life, gets a RED LIGHT. Because, context means nothing and teen sex is teen sex.

5) This PTC complaint:

During a cutaway shot to the stadium spectators, the camera focused directly on a woman wearing a t-shirt clearly inscribed with the words "F--k Da Eagles" (without the dashes). The shot stayed focused on the woman and her shirt for several seconds. There can be no doubt that this was an intentional airing of patently offensive language on the public airwaves.

Fucking hilarious. I could see allowing it with both dashes, or even one dash (F-CK), but, NO DASHES?! I change my mind. I will not tolerate anything less than full dash protection.

---- you!

6) As well as this one:

..viewers have been exposed to visual depictions and verbal references to sexual content including partial nudity and pixilated nudity, adultery, oral sex, masturbation, pornography, anal sex, incest, violence, and a plethora of curse words...

Holy fucking shit! "Curse words"??? You just said "curse words"and you didn't fight in the first World War.

Yeah, you should be in charge of everything.

7) Finally, the guy who founded the site, looks like this:

Yeah, I don't trust this shifty looking bastard enough to let him drive a bus load of pedophiles off a cliff, and we're supposed to listen to his opinions on entertainment?

TheCoolerKing didn't bother to proof this and that will probably come back to haunt him.

flabajaba2213

Plymouth, MA

July 2006

SEP 05, 2007 08:15 PM

Ok....

I am all for parents taking an interest in their children. I would also support a parent blocking tv shows and channels to protect their child.

I am, however, against people blocking and banning shows without having first seen themselves.

It is just another absentee parenting ploy.

"Yes, I care. I blocked those Nickelodeon shows, because they are communist propaganda."

Yeah....way to know your kids, douche bag.

flabajaba2213

Plymouth, MA

July 2006

SEP 05, 2007 08:18 PM

Btw, previous absentee parent devices, which they have since denounced:

Teddy Ruxpin
The NES
The Super NES
TV
The VHS Player

Need I go on?

sick

Minneapolis, MN

June 2003

SEP 05, 2007 08:18 PM

We must not allow a dash protection gap!

The executive director of TV Watch, Jim Dyke, said parents had the means to control what their children watched, including the "V-chip" feature built into TV sets that allows them to set controls based upon program ratings.

He forgot the other means at their disposal, such as telling their kids, "No, you can't watch that." Heaven forbid if anyone had to do any actual parenting.

By the way, you really should have proofed that article.

Reaver

I'm lost

August 2003

SEP 05, 2007 08:19 PM

::dies:: OMG!

This guys once spawned a wrestling gimmick known as RTC ('Right to Censor') after they attacked WWE programming back in the day!

If you want to get a true insight to their leader's douschebaggery, I suggest reading Mick Foley's second book 'Foley is Good (and the real world is faker then wrestling).'

Wow! I had thought, nae, dreamed they were dead. And maybe burning in Hell!

xazapdmytinu

Fort Collins, CO

July 2007

SEP 05, 2007 08:27 PM

From what I gather from the article, the group is saying that prime time television is family time? In my family we called prime time homework time, and if we finished our homework our parents watched television with us. What parent thinks their kids would rather watch "Without a Trace" anyway...I'm an adult and I think it's boring, imagine what their ritalin soaked brains must think of all that droning?

I also find it interesting that of the green lighted shows many of them are a) not in the prime time slot, b) no longer producing new episodes or c) encourage laughing at people with obvious handicaps (idol) or unsuspecting victims of what are probably really lame pranks.

What this says to me? It says that they may have one thing right...prime time isn't for children...that's why they don't advertise <insert children's toy/food establishment here> during the ten o'clock news. It also tells me that laughing at a woman with down syndrome trying to carry a tune (who does not get paid for her appearance on idol) is less deplorable than Steve Carrel making a wise crack about the mentally handicapped on "The Office"?

Johnny_Flapjacks

Williamsport, PA

September 2006

SEP 05, 2007 08:32 PM

Is that a redhead at the bottom of the article???

Everyone knows that redheads are Irish... and the Irish like booze!!!!

Booze leads to teen pregnancy.... and then to ABORTION!

SHAME ON YOU

GonzoChaote

Vancouver, BC

March 2007

SEP 05, 2007 08:34 PM

I'm starting to lose faith that a new zeitgeist will arrive in which parents actually take an interest in their children's lives.

stax

Morris Plains, NJ

December 2006

SEP 05, 2007 08:35 PM

These people feed their children fear. It's disgusting.

Formus

Milwaukee, WI

May 2007

SEP 05, 2007 08:37 PM

Their website is a very complete, very thorough catalog of sex and violence. You don't even have to watch TV to see some quality television sex. All you have to do is go on the Parents Television Council's website and get it aaallll for free - attaboys! That's one way to get rid of filth - carefully catalog and preserve it!

DownNeck

Jersey City, NJ

March 2006

SEP 05, 2007 08:37 PM

listen, we're going about this the wrong way. yes, the general populace of the PTC has the collective IQ of a stunned duckling...HOWEVER...the f--kers running the PTC are f--cking MASTERS of manipulation. they've manged to get scores of PTC members to commit intellectual f--cking suicide and just hand their entire decision making process over to the PTC!

we need to harness this power.

if we figured out a way to turn it into electricity, we could probably power the whole u.s. of a. for like....years...and such.

Alfaduetto

Greeneville, TN

May 2004

SEP 05, 2007 08:54 PM

Hey, that guy has the entire Bible [KJV] printed on his tie. How could he not be a beacon of moral character?

Crissis

Ecuador

January 2007

SEP 05, 2007 08:58 PM

look at his tie!

Oh no! all my fav shows are red!!!!

calang

Mukwonago, WI

October 2006

SEP 05, 2007 09:13 PM

while I hate this group and everything they do, calling them worse than Nazis night be extreme. as last time I checked the PTC hadnt killed millions of people, they had only slightly annoyed millions of people. It is sad that a group like the FCC continues to operate outside of thier orignal mandate and goes unchecked. The PTC is greatly taking advantage of this and really needs to shut the hell up. When I was growing up and there was something my parents didnt want me to see they did an amazing thing- changed the channel ot turned the TV off. But hey my parents took an interest in my life and saw it as thier responsibilty to raise me right not the goverments.

lowroller

Australia

May 2008

SEP 05, 2007 09:17 PM

people who "fist bump" as a greeting.

Man, I can't stand those people!