NEWS: The Ghetto Handbook: Another Great Example of Police Stupidity

CULTURE: The Ghetto Handbook: Another Great Example of Police Stupidity

Police make me nervous. They always have. Unlike a lot of my friends, who claim that seeing a police officer makes them "feel safe," catching sight of the fuzz makes my palms sweat and my heart race. It doesn't matter if I'm driving or on foot--I've got full-fledged po-po-paranoia. Stories like this just add fuel to my heat-hating fire.

Originally distributed by some brainiac cop in May, it took a whopping three months for the genius district officials to find out about the handbook and investigate. So far, officials haven't identified the Good ol' boy who created and distributed the guide, but he's been ordered to go to diversity training. I'm sure he'll emerge the picture of worldly compassion.

Perhaps the saddest part is what the handbook covers. I mean, really--what "foo" doesn't know what "bling" is? Any cop that needs a handbook to give him the "411" on the "hood" needs to have his badge "ganked." Like, now.



You cops are a bigger joke than, well...than this:

ganster: (gann-sterr) n. See "gangster"

I've disliked cops since my brother got the shit beat out of him and arrested for something he didn't do, and yet he still got some jail time and probation for "resisting arrest"

It kind of makes me feel bad for the cops who are doing the right thing and trying to keep us safe.

Ghetto Handbook @ The Smoking Gun
I learned something! I did not know that "cigarettes is bones" or "jacks is pay phones." Or that "aight" is a verb (not really buying that one, actually.) Really, though- any cop who needed this handbook to find out that "bail" is "money to get out of jail" needs his or her badge "ganked" indeed.

I've disliked Mexicans ever since one stole my CD player.

I've disliked your cousin ever since I found out even Mexicans hate him.

EDIT: ACK, you changed your post!

I have a hidden camera pointed at you so that when you quote me, I can go change my post and make you look foolish.


AND IT WORKED!!!

you are a true dipshit.! you are just another asshole who automaticly assumes that all cops are unintelligent, crooked and racist. yet im sure that you wouldn't hesitate in calling them if you were in need. one cops bad judgement shouldnt incriminate all of them. the cop who wrote this may just be uninformed, and not quite as schooled on pop culture and the slang that comes with it these days. maybe this was just meant to be funny to that cop and a group of his co-workers. im sure that YOU have NEVER made jokes that werent p.c. right?

Well, CourtneyKills, this isn't the first time this particular author written an SG piece that was ill-thought.

Oh, and regarding:

Cops now come in both male and female versions.

Any cop who doesn't know expressions like "Holla at my peeps" hasn't watched enough Scrubs and does not deserve to be in the police force.

People hate cops because of the way they carry themselves. Some towns they're nice people. Some towns, being a prick is part of the professional culture. We all know which local towns have asshole cops.

Ebonics was once taught as a foreign language in California Public Schools.

..... Yeah

Yeah...it was a pre-req for African Studies at UCLA.

I'm not so much afraid of cops who have this handbook as I am curious whether it was distributed as a gag (a terribly distasteful one) or if it really was something someone felt was necesarry.

Furthermore, what awful crimes could have been solved instead while this jackass wasted his time writing it?

I'm sure the self identified cop hating authorwill not hesitate to call the 'po-po' whenever her safety or property is threatened.

Maybe he doesn't hate, excactly, so much as he just feels like this:

yeah. furthermore, the man has obviously posed such a threat to his white-suburban existence. lmao. wow, this isnt news yet, and it isnt smart yet. put it back in the oven, its not done.

After reading the entire thing on smoking gun, this was clearly made as a joke. This thing was blown WAY out of proportion. This could be the first time a cop has been suspended for not being a very good comedian.

I'm too lazy to read the actual manual, but it seems to me that a cheat sheet of slang IS NOT ipso facto, a reason to send someone to diversity training. in fact, it might be useful.

For example, when i was living in Boston I used to tutor Latino kids in Mission Hill. On her first day one of our new volunteers, priya, asked me to suspend a kid. she was practically in tears. The kid looked really confused.

So I asked "what happened?" and she goes "he said my name was sick".

I just started laughing so hard I almost fell over.

I had to explain to this young lass that "sick" means "dope" and both mean "awesome".

I'm not afraid of cops really. Grew up around them because my dad is one. I don't like him at the moment but it has nothing to do with his job. But to quote a state trooper I've known my whole life (and is the nices and sweetest person you'll ever meet) policing is being treated like its a company now. Therefore, you've got the up and ups doing shit like this when they really know nothing about police work. Don't blame the every day cop just trying to do their job for retarded shit like this. Blame the brass that don't really know what the fuck they're doing.

my peep's on the fritz....

it's fucking Cristal, everything else is piss.

To be fair, I used to work at a Meijer and I had a hell of a time understanding some of the motherfuckers that shopped there.

it was a joke. let's all relax...please.

The fact that someone even found it necessary to create one is really embarrassing on so many levels...

trust me, this is houston, it's necessary.