NEWS: Record Smashed! New World's Tallest Man Crowned

CULTURE: Record Smashed! New World's Tallest Man Crowned

Yeah, I know... Not the most exciting or noteworthy story. In fact, I think legally, the media has to write stories like this, regardless of how uninteresting they may be. Fattest man, pig that can curse, monkey-shot putter, etc...

Quick sidebar. He's a veterinarian! Picture the look of pure terror on every animal's face as Leonid's giant banana-fingers reach for them. Yeah.

As boring as the story seemed, I kept thinking about it. Specifically, I kept thinking about the victim of the story... the old world's tallest man.

Did he enjoy his reign? Was it a curse? A blessing? Who knows...

If he hated it, he was sorta out of luck It's not like he can wait for someone to "break" the record. Or to use artificial enhancements to get there. No one just sprouts an extra 16 inches and laps him. He's gotta wait for them to find someone. Painstakingly searching the globe, finding and dismissing God knows how many bigfoots, in their search for the next titan. Well, they found him. Now what?

To go from, every day of your life, hearing from friend and stranger alike, "Hey! It's the world's tallest man," right to "Uhh, hey Bao... going for a walk, huh?"

That can't be awesome.

'Cause he's not getting the title back. Not unless he pulls one of those Hollywood box office-record tricks. Best August opening ever! ...of a movie that's not a sequel... or based on an adaptation of a medical brochure. Right?

He could be the world's tallest man... with a creepy wink! ...With a knock-knock joke for any occasion! world's tallest man... you don't wanna be left alone with!

Or maybe just, world's biggest racist... Literally!

Anyway, congrats Leonid Stadnyk! I'm not sure what duties or problems you will inherit from the old title-holder... But I think it would be hysterical if, at every interview and public event from this point forward, you were to, "refuse to talk about the 'height' thing."



TheCoolerKing concedes that, if this story were any more lightweight they'd make mountain bikes out of it.

he's the only human being on the planet earth that breaks the 8 foot barrier.

Where the fuck does he get clothes? I mean, if the guinness book didnt know about him, he obviously isnt buying off the rack. He's 8.5 inches taller than the next tallest human being.

He IS his own size. There's like 6XL, and then STADNYK SIZE

i feel that i need to introduce people to Mr. Ping Ping. while he may not be technically the shortest man on earth, his name is Mr. Ping Ping, fer chrissake!!

that's fucking awesome.

Godamn I thought I was tall at 6'9.

Only 20 inches to go!

This is a very interesting point.

I hear he wears size 20 shoes. And you know what they say about men with big feet....

They wear big socks?

not so grate aktully

Funny article. I bet his feet ain't bigger than Matthew McGrory's were. Long live Tiny!!

That's really sad. I hope he can get the medical care he needs, and not feel so much like an outcast.

This article contradicts his career as a veterinarian.

really. Ever notice how these guys are usually leaning on something in pictures? Or how about Mr. Ping Ping? If you look at the picture from Trocc's post it looks like some dude has to hold Mr. Ping Ping up.

[Debbie Downer]Wah-Wah[/Debbie Downer]

That is actually pretty sad. It's funny how details get glossed over sometimes.

Freakish, but I feel sorry for the guy.

Mr. Ping Ping is a stone-cold pimp. That guy is cool.

Creativename, you are so right
http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/news/archives/2006/12/14/worlds_tallest_man_saves_dolphins.html

A man doesn't get to be 8 inches taller than the next world's tallest man all in one year, so it's a wonder that Guinness just found out about him now. I suspect he has to get his clothes tailor made, so it's a good thing he's a surgeon and presumably can afford it.

I bet he never gets hassled about basketball.

Yeah, he should die in around 2-6 years from something stemming from his height, then he'll have his name in lights again

He will if the vet dies in a mysterious hoof-cleaning accident...

I hope you know that because of this piece I now rely on SuicideGirls.com for all my fucking news.

awesome story, my neighbor is 6'10. 8' plus is insane.

Yeah, I feel really sorry for him