NEWS: The Rime of the Modern Mariner: Sublime or Substandard?

CULTURE: The Rime of the Modern Mariner: Sublime or Substandard?

By now you've all probably heard about Duke Riley, the self-proclaimed "artist and patriot" who was arrested Friday for floating his replica of a Revolutionary War-era submarine in restricted New York waters near the Queen Mary 2. The Village Voice correctly identified it as hipster-shenanigans almost immediately.

Apparently Riley was attempting to get videotape of his "Turtle" sub against the QM2 for one of his upcoming shows.

Riley—co-founder and tattooist at Brooklyn's Cherry Bomb Tattoo—is getting a lot of shit for the project, with various newspaper headlines calling him a "Sub Moron" and claiming that he has "Sub-Standard Brains."

Seeing as how this is the best the writers at these papers can come up with, it makes sense that they lack an appreciation for creativity and adventurousness. I'm not saying that Riley, 35-year-old graduate of the Rhode Island School of Design and Pratt Institute, and his crew couldn't have improved upon their plan—just get a freakin' permit, dude—but the condemnation and derision Riley has been treated with is totally uncalled for.

At least the voices of reason over at Wonkette appreciated the stunt.

Funny

1. Dude built a submarine.

2. Dude built a submarine.

3. Hipsters don't build fucking submarines.

Drive up rents because mommy and daddy "help out", sure. Ruin bars by driving out the real people who make them interesting, likewise. Popularize retro retread bands as "original" because of not having heard of Magazine or Japan or even Roxy Music, of course. Submarines? There is no such thing as a hipster submarine.

> just get a freakin' permit, dude

Right-o. And just how do you get a permit for floating your home-made replica submarine in restricted waters next to the QM2?

Which form is that? And DHS isn't going to flip a shit anyway?

Where's my big "NO" stamp? Let me go borrow one from David Spade over at Capital One.

I hate poor news headline puns about as much as I hate Nazis.

"SUB-STANDARD BRAINS." The writer should be shot.

Dude, a Revolutionary war era submarine is totally retro.

I call sheenigans! Wooden Submarines are Awesome!

And I find New York Papers substandard.

RI School of Design graduate?

yep, hipster.

A RISD grad done good.

Bravo, sir - anyone who scratchbuilds a fucking submarine gets mad moto-geek props from me.

a hipster in new york? You mean they've gotten out of the mission?

As awesome as building an old wooden sub is, if I find out he's got a single gear bicycle that will totally cancel out his cool points.

we all live in a hipster submarine....

I repeat, dude built a fucking submarine. Hipsters don't build anything, they idolize people who actually create until too many other hipsters idolize them too then they rant about how much idol X sucks and is overrated.

Do you have any idea how much work it is to even find a place in NY big enough to build a submarine?

Did he build it?. I saw a TV show recently where a few were built. I think it'd be easier to just get one of those.

News reports I have seen stated that he was cited for operating an unsafe craft--which would tend to indicate it was, in most important respects, a pretty faithful replica of a civil war era sub.

It wasn't a working submarine. Wasn't self-propelled, and wasn't ever fully submerged. It was more of a floating buoy.

The guy has actually built a lot of cool shit, though. He's hip, but not a hipster.

Ummm... That famed yellow submarine was so hip it couldn't see past it's own pelvis.

And for the record: "SUB-PAR PUNS!"

There is an easier way to get your replica submarine in the same frame with the QM2...it is called Photoshop, and you won't get arrested and get called stupid names. I know both the Rhode Island School of Design and Pratt Institute use it a bit!

You ever heard of the artist Christo? The guy who would get permits and licenses to do off-the-wall things like dot the California countryside with yellow umbrellas, or cover island beaches in pink cloth? The government has procedures for just about everything.

dude should try doing that aroung an LNG tanker in a port like NYC or Boston. he'll get eaten alive.
and hipsters dont build submarines, actually who in the hell builds a submarine besides columbian drug runners.