NEWS: Quick! Shut Down the Internet, That Singing Dinosaur Doesn't Like it

CELEB: Quick! Shut Down the Internet, That Singing Dinosaur Doesn't Like it

The least intimidating knight in the history of the realm, Sir Elton John, recently said that he thinks the Internet should be shut down.

In a related story, Napoleon's ghost doesn't understand why we need all these "cars."

Out of all the horrendous things the Internet has created/furthered: copyright infringement, movie and music piracy, identity theft, takeout for pedophiles, credit scams, stalking, etc. I'd put "preventing musicians from interacting thereby hurting music," right next to "noise pollution created by 'You've Got Mail' alerts," on the importance scale.

Music changes the world, what, every 15 years or so, maybe... Now that's never going to happen again... because of the Internet. And bloggers.

He says, in response to people using the greatest instrument for mass communication ever created. Yeah, shut that off and go talk to your neighbor. About making great music.

If only the Internet had some sort of electronic mail or magic "instant message" system... Ah what the fuck am I talking about, smoke signals work just fine. Occasionally.

It could happen... Communism, aparteid and toaster ovens, all evils vanquished by the might that is... music. Remember when "Rocket Man" killed Hitler? And "Tiny Dancer" helped that tiny dancer follow her dream? Good times...

Sounds great! I know the perfect tool for organizing a large protest -- Oh, wait...

That does sound like an amazing experiment. Right up there with affixing sequins to formal wear while behaving like a humorless tyrant.

Ahh, who better to pass judgement on a technology than someone who has admitted zero knowledge of its capabilities.

What? A guy can't change his mind in order to make a sweeping, poorly-informed generalization?

Lily who? Never heard of them.

And I think we all know why that is. Thanks for nothing, Internet... you dick!



TheCoolerKing concedes that more people going outside and enjoying life would be a great thing.

?!

Seriously, that's what I thought.

-TM

Coming from a guy who feels the need to wear a donald duck costume while he performs, because somehow it makes his music cooler or something. I've never been an Elton John fan..I personally think his music sucks and he is an idiot.

Aren't there two types of people who do the whole, "I don't need the internet, cell phone, television, or an automobile?" The first is someone who has struck a balance with the earth based on a personal philosophy. The other type is someone rich enough to have handlers wired up their ass with tech so they can cater to their rich clients every whim. Which is he again?

Me, too.

If the web is to blame for all of the current bad music, what's Elton's excuse for the last 35 years of his shit?

DAGBLAMIN' YOUNG'INS! PHOO ON YOU AND YOUR INTRARWEBNETS! WHY IN MY DAY, ALL WE HAD WAS TIN CANS AND STRING!! AND DID WE COMPLAIN?!? NO WE DIDN'T, DADGUMMIT! WE TOOK OUR LICKS IN STRIDE AND DEALT WITH THE TEN FEET OF SNOW WE HAD TO WALK THROUGH TO GET TO WORK! WHEN WE WERE FOUR!!!

*shakes knobby cane in the air*

GET OFFA MA LAWN!!!

screw the music, what about the PORN?

Seeiing how the music industry is right now, the internet has been more of a saviour.

I don't like much popular music, but I don't think that's the net's fault. I mean, the net gives a great place to call out all that bullshit.

Just say no to listening to celebrities.

Did that Baldwin boy ever move to France, BTW?

Ahahaha I laughed like hell.

I'm betting that the only place this will be reported is on the internet.

If you shut down the internet for five years I'm going to have to resort to mainlining heroin through my eyeballs. See, I don't have many hobbies.

Elton John is full of shit? You don't say!

Yeah I'm sure every rip off of a Captain Beefheart album sounded amazing when you were coked out of your fucking gord John...

If the internet got killed, would Elton John record a memorial tribute song about it?

"404 Error in the Wind"

Tyrannosaurus Reg.

If the net was shut down Elton John would be the first person I kill.

Of course Sir Elton John is going to slam the internet, it prevents him from selling a multitude of records, thus, he wont be able to afford another ridiculous outfit to fit into his oversized wardrobe. Elton also misses out the fact that the internet is vast encyclopedia, allowing users to research anything they like. Its also fucking great for free music.

Wow, that fucker sure is nuts. Step away from the DNS server you crazy old fart.

I've enjoyed the demos Milla Jovovich has released over the internet. You just have to know where to look for good stuff. And the internet has made it a lot easier to sample an artist's work -- from myspace pages to those 30-second bits on Amazon, I'm able to find more music outside the mainstream that I know I'll like than ever before.

So yeah, this is a gross and horribly misguided overstatement. But Elton John's certainly earned the right to be wrong about pretty much anything by now.

What an idiot. I'm an aspiring musician and I say that the internet has more than helped me expose my music to the ears of many people.

Elton John, when you die, im going to piss on your grave (Y)