NEWS: This is Not the Mexican Food You Are Looking For

CULTURE: This is Not the Mexican Food You Are Looking For

Hey, Americans: have you ever wondered how the rest of the world filters and perceives the fine traditional cuisine of the United States? Cease your wondering, my friends. Thanks to Japan, I have your answer. Brace yourselves:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Pizza Hut Japan's exclusive Double Roll pie is 646 calories per slice, with little bacon wrapped sausages littered across the crust, and mini hamburger patties on top of the mushrooms, soy beans, corn, paprika, garlic chips, green peppers, and pepperoni. As for cheese, it has mozzarella, cheddar and parmigiana. BTW, this comes with ketchup and maple syrup for extra flavor, and is recommended for kids.

Scary, huh? Perhaps, dizzy with a mixture of confusion, horror, and indignance, you are thinking, "Wait a minute! That grossly misrepresentational pizza abomination is no more traditional American food than Frankenstein's monster, cobbled together from pieces of real corpse, is truly a man. While it may be comprised of various traditional parts -- and, against all better judgment, it may look sort of perversely delicious -- it is certainly not how we really eat!" Well, all I can say to you is this: welcome to Mexico's world.

It doesn't take a Cordon Bleu graduate to figure out that something called an "enchirito" probably isn't going to be authentic Mexican cuisine, but upon leaving the condescending safety of fast food fare, the lines really start to blur. The carnitas fajitas you got in Old Town were actual Mexican food, right? What about those carne asada nachos you scarfed down at 2AM from that greasy little hole-in-the-wall around the corner -- those must be authentic, no? Don't be so sure. Most of what we think of, when we think of Mexican food, is authentic only as much as a pizza made of maple syrup and hot dogs is the national snack of the United States, and quite frankly, Mexico is sick and tired of it. Having stood aghast outside of one Chevy's Fresh-Mex too many, the Mexican government is taking a stand, launching an active campaign of real Mexican food awareness.

They apparently also lobbied UNESCO to declare Mexican food a "cultural patrimony of humanity," which I'll admit might be a little on the ostentatious side; as Carlos Gonzalez, executive director of the Institute for Mexicans Abroad explains, however, a country's food "gives prestige to the country, promotes its image," and you can't really blame anyone for wanting to promote as good and as true-to-life an image as possible.

The biggest obstacles to be tackled in this battle are the sneaky banditos known as Tex-Mex and Cali-Mex. The first comes in the form of deep-fat frying, gut-busting chili, and festive corn and peppers in fucking everything (think Bobby Flay); the latter is Tex-Mex's arguably healthier brother, all pico de gallo and fruity salsas and freshly-grilled fish tacos. Nachos? Gringo food. Burritos? Gringo food. Carne asada fries? Delicious, delicious gringo food.

Therein lies the problem. Fake Mexican food has come to transcend its fakeness, delicious in its own right. What are they cooking up at the Mexican government symposium?

Emphasis added, and back on the homestead, some of her contemporaries are serving up breaded pork feet with fried egg and ranchera sauce on top. Yum yum! That's right, real Mexican food sounds exciting until you realize that it's my great-grandmother wrestling a steaming bowl of pork 'n' cactus down your throat. (Although, god rest her soul, the albondigas soup was delicious.) Sound good? I'm not saying at all that it isn't (having never tried grasshoppers, I am in no position to judge), but it isn't at all surprising that the biggest taquito aficionados might be a little wary of true traditional cuisine. As Jeanette Avila, aforementioned purveyor of eggy pig feet, notes: "It is important to promote our culture and educate people about real Mexican food, but we also need to be flexible and understand that a lot of people in the United States have yet to develop a taste for our food." As much, I'd imagine, as Chinese food what is not sweet'n'sour pork.

So the promotion of real Mexican food is definitely cool and important (and a welcome break from Rick Bayless), but I'd say that education is equally important. Let's start with the names. We call it Mexican food, but let's face it: it's American food. We've co-opted it, stuffed it with french fries and dainty seasonings, and now it is ours as much as hamburgers and hot dogs. Perhaps Japan should throw some mini tacos on top of that pizza while they're at it -- what a monstrously delicious melting pot it could be.


_DictionaryGirl_, who doffs her cap to hor for the story, feels kind of sorry for anyone who hasn't had a California burrito. Authentically Mexican? No. Authentically awesome? You bet your life.

grasshoppers are good...... seriously......

Always makes me chuckle when people have curry n' chips at the local Indian restaurant.

we've always just called it Tex-Mex. It's not like anyone here actually expects that what you get at Taco Bell is authentic.

what I find really amusing is that there is often a parking lot full of cars with liscence plates from Nuevo Laredo and Leon out side the Taco Bell and Casa Sombrero resturaunts at the outlet mall north of San Antonio.


mmmmmm. now I'm wanting me some cabrito and caldo.

anyway....hurrah for cultural coopting!...uh...I mean...melting pot type diversity.....is it diversity if we all melt into the same pot?

You can have my Tex-Mex when you pry it from my cold, greasy, fat little fingers.

Prickly pear jam is yummy, though.

So is prickly pear jam...hell, most anything with prickly pears is good.

Also: I want to fuck that pizza. Maple syrup and ketchup? Bonus!

This is why I'm getting fatter.

Nuh uh, you are getting fatter because you have fat friends. Didntcha know that?

Does this melting pot make me look fat?

Carne Asada fries make me think that there may actually be a god. I LOVE living in San Diego.

I ate at a little Mexican food joint in Taipei (Taiwan). It surprised me to be pretty OK, though very American-style.

Same country I had a 'burrito' at a Buddhist vegetarian buffet. I got it from the tray next to the pizza and fake nigiri sushi.

The world is getting a lot smaller.

I eat Taco Bell cause it still beats shitty burgers, but I'm all for this.

But that pizza is actually made by Pizza Hut.

Hey, _DictionaryGirl_...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

♥:respect:

My friends always give a hard time when I suggest Chevys ..."that's not real Mexican food!" they say. I respond, "that's okay, I'm not a real Mexican." 'Nuff said.

i love taco bell, and cali-mex, and big-ass gringo burritos...

but being lucky enough to have traveled and lived in mexico...i can attest that the cuisines of mexico city, veracruz, and oaxaca are fantastic, complex, sophisticated, and totally unlike anything i once associated with mexican food.

and yeah...grasshoppers (chapulines) are damn yummy!

That pizza is weird and all, but did you see the Idaho Special?

Potatoes on a pizza? Them bitches is KaRAzee!

You've no idea how hard it is to find decent "Mexican" in Asia. Sometimes, i'll travel about two hours into Seoul, just to find the sole amazing burrito place in this entire country. But damn is it worth it!

"against all better judgment, it may look sort of perversely delicious"

Man, you said it.

amen, sister.

I just came here to say that Bobby Flay is a fucking douche.

It's a shame that there are no Alberto's in Washington. Er....or any taqueria for that matter.

I've given up on the notion of getting anything that closely resembles Mexican food up here.

I only had real Mexican food once before I studied down there. Now, I greatly enjoy my fake Mexican food but if I had to choose between eating a gordita from taco bell and a REAL gordita (or taquitos, my favorite Mexican food) then hell yes I'll eat the real one. And tacos de puerco with lots and lots of salsa verde... mmm...

Although I did eat at a sushi place in Queretaro (where I was living) called Sushi Itto and the sushi was pretty damn good. I guess I'll find out how Americanized sushi is once I go to Japan in September. (And maybe I'll try this crazy pizza, too.)

I would have to smoke an entire bag to want to eat that thing.

Even then...

*This is not the Mexican Food we are looking for.*

Amen to that! As much as I enjoy the General Tso's chicken at the local Red Star, I can tell you that I encountered very little in China that even vaguely resembled it.

REAL Chinese beats the pants off Americanized "Chinese" any day of the week. Even when I can't begin to identify what I'm actually eating.