NEWS: It's the Squares vs. the Outkasts... Yes, Again.

CELEB: It's the Squares vs. the Outkasts... Yes, Again.

I'm going to be a very rich man. You see, I've discovered a secret formula for making everything in your life seem better. The book you're reading not that interesting? Your husband's jokes not as funny as you'd like? Bored with recent episodes of "Entourage"?

Try watching the trailer for Who's Your Caddy?



Done not laughing? Now look back at your life... Not so bad, is it? That book actually has some fairly interesting dialogue. Your husband's joke was subtle and true to life. "Entourage" didn't feature a rapper acting... I bet the flowers even smell better! People often miss the upside of something "lowering the bar," that upside being, formerly mediocre things become awesome.

When you click on a trailer for a movie titled Who's Your Caddy? you're not expecting much. I didn't anticipate any edges cut or boundaries pushed... Though, I was hoping not to see a shot for shot (plot for plot?) rip-off of Caddyshack.

This movies seems to have sprung from a weird early '80s period when rap music was still considered "edgy" and dangerous... The title doesn't make much sense either until you recall that during the '90s unappealing types in bowling shirts would sometimes ask you "Who's your daddy?" I'm not sure in which time period or dimension a joke about putting rims on a golf cart would be considered funny... but I wish they'd send it back there.

Here's a checklist you can use to decide if you'd like to see this movie.

- Does the sight of an angry midget yelling at and threatening to beat up a full-sized human make you chuckle, every single time you see it. Did you start laughing when you got to the word midget?

- Have you often wondered (possibly aloud) about what it would be like if a white kid from the suburbs were to suddenly act black? Why has no one tackled this yet? Seems like it could be funny, no?

- Do you enjoy stodgy, white "squares" doing spit-takes, getting hit in the nuts and sat on by fat people?

If you answered yes to any of these questions please stop breathing immediately.

Believe it or not, the following is a genuine description of the movie. It's actually not a parody and was produced by people who'd like you to see the film. Notice the overflow of catchy "buzz words" that ad agencies from the '50s once used to sell you soda pop. Feel free to read it with the sarcastic tone you'd use with a stupid person.

"Bring down the club's backwards establishment..." It's about time. Imagine, a golf club that doesn't allow dancing and loud music on the course! No helicopters allowed? Fuck you! (Cue loud guitar chord. Err, I'm sorry, cue loud "beats.")

Here's something to keep in mind. When slack-jawed, retard Andy Milonakis is the funniest guy in your movie, don't make your movie.*




* I actually like Jeffrey Jones and Terry Crews and find them both 1000 times funnier than Milonakis... I, uh, just wanted the joke.


TheCoolerKing anxiously awaits the inevitable "Calm down it's just a movie," post.

why can't we have a hilariously funny movie about a rap super star who is graciously accepted into a country club desiring to fill membership with people dumb enough to pay 37,000 dollars a year...did I say country club? I meant to say movie studio wanting to fill seats for 8 bucks a show.

I'm sure this film will take it's triumphant and well deserved spot in the walmart bargain bin next to "White Chicks", "Orange County" and "Suicide Kings"

I guess Ed Rooney had some snot-nosed little punk leave his cheese out in the wind just a little too often, because this is one hell of a sorry position.

"- Do you enjoy stodgy, white "squares" doing spit-takes, getting hit in the nuts and sat on by fat people?"

Of course. That's why I go to youtube.

I can go to my dad's house for that...

what's the deal? I would watch that. Just get a buzz going and laugh about all the black stereotypes used in the movie!

calm down, its just a movie

Well, he did get arrested for making and possessing child porn. He's lucky he can get work period.

-TM

No helicopters allowed? Fuck you!

ha!

Stereotypes: The Movie

Finally, this year's Soul Plane!

I liked the part where the stuff blow'ded-up!

I likeded the part where the older white man didn't get along with the young black man. And then the white guy was accused of calling the black guy the n-word. That just never gets old!! haha hehe hoo hoo.

That trailer was like a time machine that takes you to a mashup of 1984 and 1994. It's never a good thing when you can watch a movie and realize the Wayans brothers would consider it beneath their talents.

I liked the part where the white guy tried to be "hip" like the black guy, but wasn't because he was white, and white people are lame. hehehehahahahahehehehehahahahahahahaha

I hope by retard[ed] you mean he can do anything*.





*Sarah Silverman

This fall on NBC: One's black, one's a Jew. One's loud, violent, and always in a bad mood. One's a neurotic, clumsy, un-hip dude with poor self-esteem. Black and Jew, coming Tuesdays at 9pm.

Now that's what I call must see TV!

Needs more Kid n' Play.

Also, more cowbell.

That ain't gonna do it. I'd go so far as to say not even The Fat Boys could salvage this.

What about Dr. Dre and Ed Lover?

That could have potential if the Jew in question was Bill Goldberg.

Oh, god. When I was a kid I owned that movie on VHS. I'm so embarrassed.