We have a deal with Bon Jovi... And because of that deal I'm not sure Jon Bon Jovi gets to complain about anything...

He was huge in the '80s, made a bunch of hits. The climate changed, he became a joke... Acted in a film here and there... Years go by, and now he somehow make tons of money on the road, selling out shows to people who peaked when he did... Not a bad life...

He's sorta this goof-ball relic who's still having a good time... People smile when you mention him and most admit enjoying "Wanted Dead or Alive" when it comes on the radio. I doubt he fully understands his "laughable" status and that's probably for the best.

Back to my opening line. We, as a people, made a deal with Bon Jovi. A gentleman's agreement, if you will. And this deal came about due to an indisputable theory:

Jon Bon Jovi should have to take more shit than us.

I'm not even sure why this is. Though I believe it 100%, to the core of my being. Not because he's rich... or handsome... or clearly a lucky guy that hit the jackpot... not even because it's funny to picture him getting robbed. Think about it. Right? It is.

"Hey man... hey man, c'mon, I'm Jon Bon Jovi... please man... don't take the watch... ahh, not the watch..."

Maybe all these reasons together play a part, maybe not. I don't know, I'm not a specialist. My point is, it's... just true. And you may not have known it before now, maybe you never thought about it, but now that you hear it I defy you to deny it. You know I'm right.

Evolution. Relativity. Big Bang. All concepts, theories, proven to varying degrees through research and experimentation... and one day, among them will sit the theory that Jon Bon Jovi should take more shit than the rest of the world. Car stolen? Property vandalized? Guy yells some shit at you out a car window? Suck it up, Jon. Let it slide.

He seems like a nice dude, and he gets to live and pop up on VH-1 now and then blissfully unaware of how most of the world sees him... That's the deal. Keep your head down, play "Living on a Prayer," again, don't bother anyone and remember the rules... Abide by the theory.

He must've forgot.

Jon Bon Jovi wants the owner of the Mijovi energy drink to change its name, arguing it is too similar to his famous moniker.

But Marcos Carrington says his coffee-based energy drink is named after his girlfriend, whose name is Jovita, not the 45-year-old rocker.

You stupid son of a bitch... You're going to ruin everything. What's the more ridiculous assumption here, that the word "Mijovi" in any way reminds one of Jon Bon Jovi or that, in the year 2007, Jon Bon Jovi thinks the quickest way to make a name for yourself is to hook your wagon to the blazing star that is Jon. Bon. Jovi. I mentioned the year, right?

In a Jan. 22 letter, Los Angeles lawyer Peter Laird, representing Bon Jovi, objected to the word "Mijovi" as well as other words "itsmijovi" and "itsmilife" that appear in the company's marketing materials and on the can. Rather than use Carrington's spelling, the letter used the phrases, "It's My Jovi" and "It's My Life."

"As you should be aware, one of Bon Jovi's most popular songs is entitled `It's My Life,'" the letter states. "We hereby demand that you immediately cease and desist all further use of the name `Mijovi' and `It's My Life.'"

Carrington said the words "itsmijovi" and "itsmilife" are meant to mean "it's my jovial life." The full phrase on the can is "itsmienergy.itsmijovi.itsmilife."

"It is just unfair," Carrington, 37, told the Asbury Park Press for Thursday's newspapers. "It is unfair because Mijovi has nothing to do with Bon Jovi."

Not even the point, Marcos. Not even the fucking point. Under the prior agreement, you probably could've gotten away with calling it "JBJ's Mullet-juice," if you so desired... He shouldn't have been able to bat an eye... But the fact that he's targeting you, coming after you... For doing nothing!

Inexcusable. And now the deal has been broken.

God help you, Jon... This could get ugly.

TheCoolerKing is a proud native of the great state of NJ and feels some regret over this piece... but a deal's a deal.

Melrose

Windsor, ON

January 2007

JUL 20, 2007 08:10 PM

i sang Living On A Prayer during my Valedictorian Speech.

JunkyardAngel

San Gabriel, CA

February 2006

JUL 20, 2007 08:18 PM

This article is asinine as Bon Jov's "law suit."

Metta

I'm lost

September 2006

JUL 20, 2007 08:19 PM

I was just saying how much i disliked Bon Jovi today at work......

I feel cheap whenever i am forced to hear bed of roses.

Tart

SUICIDEGIRL

New York, USA

JUL 20, 2007 08:26 PM

this sounds like a drug enhanced rant to me. just so happens those are the best kinds.

PatrickY

Vancouver, WA

December 2003

JUL 20, 2007 08:35 PM

JunkyardAngel said:
This article is asinine as Bon Jov's "law suit."

Really? I think this is - and here's a compliment, on the back of my hand - the first TheCoolerKing article I've really enjoyed. If they were all like this, I'd be happy.

_panda_

I'm lost

November 2005

JUL 20, 2007 08:37 PM

This story reads like a long island high school newspaper editor's personal blog on MySpace whining about his parents going to a concert at Jones Beach with his younger sister.

Besides, everyone knows its first Scott Stapp that gets the most crap.

Varuka_Salt

I'm lost

October 2006

JUL 20, 2007 08:38 PM

Beavis and Butthead said it best.
Watching a JBJ video...
Beavis: Hey Butthead...remember when Bon Jovi used to be cool....?
Butthead: Uuuhhhh...no.

Leivan

United Kingdom

April 2007

JUL 20, 2007 08:44 PM

<Obligatory comment from Bon Jovi fan>

Just so happens that it's my first ever on this site, too.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm still laughing over the thought of Jon getting robbed. I imagine I will do so for some time. And I don't disagree that the main subject of the post indicates questionable judgement on his part. Good things for the most part.

To portray Jon Bon Jovi as being "a joke" or having a "laughable status", however, is something of an insult to one of the most successful artists ever. Is it possible that he makes all those "tons of money" because people still enjoy Bon Jovi? This "goof-ball relic" still has millions of fans worldwide who do a lot more than smile and go all misty-eyed with nostalgia when a familiar tune comes on.

It's not just the oldies or even the older generation that still enjoy their music, and I believe that Jon is extremely talented to have made it this long and still be popular. A bit deluded when it comes to this law suit, yes, but the rest is just opinion. Thought I'd express mine.

</Obligatory comment from Bon Jovi fan>